Iowa Wonkers, Come Pre-Game The Caucuses With Your Beloved Wonkette!

oh, IRVING.

Achtung and hey there, Iowa Wonkers! Come join your editrix, her sessy husband, and her heiress baby on Sunday, Jan. 31, the afternoon before the caucuses, and let us ram and cram beer or a soft drink down your undoubtedly so-angry throat!

Open up and say awwwwwwww

Since we shall be residing at the front curb of your compatriot Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate, our sojourn will be inIowa Cityat the Bluebird Diner, from 4: 30-6:30 p.m. Come and say howdy, but in Iowan. I don't know, maybe bring us some butter?

How about the rest of our Wonkette 2016 Winter Wonksicle Tour?

Chicagopals, we shall see youFeb. 3at a place to be determined, andDetroit,you'reFeb. 4because you are very close together.

New Hampshire and the rest of the Eastern seaboard, you're on notice that we're coming "eventually."

How can you help? Same as always. Show us your money and love.

Baby Food $2.00 USD Two Gallons of Gas $5.00 USD Dump Our Poo Tanks $10.00 USD State Park Campground $25.00 USD Buy 4 Pitchers For Your Friends In Chicago $50.00 USD Help Us Put Our Name On The Side $100.00 USD Put Your Name On The Side $1,000.00 USD Further Instructions

We love you right back.