Discover more from Wonkette
Iran's Navy Saves American Ship From Pirates, We Are All Best Friends Now Hooray!
The Iranian Navy says it saved an American ship from pirates, all 'Unhand that frigate, villeins! What ho, tea, chappie, lorries, Madge, the sun never sets on the British Empire,' or something, whatever, arrrr. So now we can all be best friends forever! Yay Iran! Yay us!
An Iranian warship responded to a distress signal from the US-flagged Maersk Texas, a cargo ship of 150 metres (500 feet) and 14,000 tonnes, which was besieged by "several pirate boats," the navy said in a statement reported by the official IRNA news agency.
The pirates "fled the scene as soon as they spotted the presence" of the warship. Maersk Texas "thanked the Iranian navy and sailed towards its destination safely," it added.
So what the official IRNA news agency is saying is the Maersk Texas basically was as grateful as an American ever is when someone saves its ass, which is to say the captain probably gifted the Iranian Navy with a cold dead stare, sneered 'Yeah. Thanks," in its best Jorge Boosh, and then hotfooted it the fuck out of there to pick up its payload of Burmese-baby-made lead-coated bisphenol A candy cigarettes.
Anyway it's not like they should have been too grateful.
The US navy patrolling the area have on a number of occasions rescued Iranian ships. The latest incident was in January when a US warship secured the release of 13 Iranian fishermen near the entrance to the Gulf who had been held captive by pirates for 45 days.