Is Celine Dion A Baby-Eating Illuminati Demon Queen? Some Very Normal People Say 'Yes!'
And that's the way it is.
Timely as ever, a whole bunch of right-wing conspiracy theorists are raging on Xitter about Celine Dion’s collaboration with the children’s clothing line NUNUNU … from seven years ago. Now, if you know anything about these folks, you can probably tell exactly where this is going — the clothes are just a creative way for Queen Celine to advertise her devotion to the illuminati and, of course, her great love of killing children and drinking their blood. Why? Simply because she loves to rub all of this right in the faces of decent, hardworking, God-fearing, absolutely motherfucking batshit Americans.
The viral thread, which has so far been shared 5,200 times, comes from Redpill Drifter, an anonymous bluecheck account with 300,000 followers, which is really quite depressing when you think about it. As is everything we’re about to go through, you have been warned.
“Celine Dion has a clothing brand called NUNUNU. NU stands for New World Order. The following images were pulled from the NUNUNU Instagram page. If by the end of this you still don't get it then you never will. Oh well,” they write. Spoiler alert, we’re not going to get it.
It is not clear how or why NU would stand for New World Order. Is it because it’s “UN” backwards? It seems more likely that this was just something Redpill Drifter pulled out of their ass, much like they assumed that NUNUNU was Celine Dion’s personal clothing brand, which it is not.
The first image shared is of a dress that is not even part of Dion’s collection, which I think might undermine this theory a bit, but no matter!
Can you just picture the photographer coming up with this though? “Yes, so I want the girl in the bloody dress (that is actually just a paint splatter dress in a black and white picture) to hold a stuffed rabbit, because innocence and adrenochrome.” Is that what they think happened?
Perhaps you are wondering why this person is upset about a panda pillow. Well, I’m sorry to do this to you guys, but the QAnon people have a whole thing about pandas, which they think represent one’s love for child sexual abuse because of another thing they made up where they think children get periorbital ecchymosis (dark circles around the eyes caused by a head injury) by being sodomized. Why? Well, more or less they think the eye bone is connected to the butt bone, I assume because they saw a Philomena Cunk meme and didn’t know it was a joke.
Also, in case you wanted to know just how stupid/cruel these people are, the picture (and, often, video) they most frequently choose to show as “proof” is of a little girl who appeared in a Channel Four documentary because she was the victim of a bombing in Gaza in 2016.
“Let’s have an image that’s just a handprint, as a reference to the 2000 movie Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, because of how Tom Hanks is the Adrenochrome King or something!” Celine Dion definitely said to the people who run this Instagram account.
Curiously, this is the only point at which Redpill Drifter even mentions that it is a gender neutral line and their (hey, I don’t know their gender — too bad they don’t have pronouns in their bio) main take on that is “they want the babies to be like Baphomet.” I guess I have to give them credit for not going in a fully transphobic direction.
Long story short, Project Monarch is a fake CIA project that deranged conspiracy theorist Cathy O’Brien claims brainwashed her into being a sex slave to several prominent politicians and foreign dignitaries, including “George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Senator Robert Byrd, Pierre Trudeau, and Hillary Clinton.” We can assume that is about this and not about the city of Chicago’s unfortunately titled plan to encourage monarch butterfly populations in parks across the city.
It is, however, not clear what the fuck this has to do with Celine Dion. Do they think she’s a sex slave? Or that she has sex slaves? Or that she’s in the CIA? That last one seems unlikely, given that she’s Canadian and all, but who knows? Anything is possible with these people. For all we know, they could think “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” is actually about recovered memories of having been a brainwashed sex slave to the New World Order.
I wouldn't be surprised if these were made out of human skin and they were openly mocking us to our faces.
You know, I know a lot of people spent much of 1998 feeling personally victimized by Celine Dion, but it seems like a little bit of a stretch to suggest that she went out of her way to post a picture of ballet slippers made from human skin on an Instagram account in order to “mock” those who “know” that all the celebrities wear red shoes to indicate their fondness for child sacrifice. (Also, are these people all entirely unaware of the 1948 film The Red Shoes? Or even the Hans Christian Andersen story? Some researchers they are.)
You know, I love how Redpill Drifter and others are so into “doing their own research” when it comes to shoes made of human skin and yet can’t use these amazing powers of observation to discern that, in fashion, “resort” is the season in between winter and spring (for rich people who go on vacation to warmer climates at this time) and not an actual resort.
Wait. Do they think these are actual trafficked children? Like, these kids are missing and they’re just putting them in Celine Dion eyeball pajamas on Instagram, and no one is going to recognize them?
As a side note, I would wear the shit out of those pajamas.
Poor dead Olivia Newton-John is like “Why am I in it now?”
Yes, in case you were wondering, they still believe that Wayfair sells children in overpriced cabinets. And that there was a video on Anthony Weiner’s laptop of Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin wearing the peeled faces of trafficked children that were sacrificed to Satan.
Well, at least they got back to talking about Celine Dion! Finally!
Here’s the actual video:
She’s not stealing babies, she’s going into a nursery at a hospital and changing their outfits from pink and blue outfits to the black, gender neutral ensembles of the CELINUNUNU line, using magic dust. Like you do.
Shockingly, the thread does not mention Miracle, Celine’s album and book collaboration with photographer Anne Geddes in which she poses with babies dressed as flowers, sometimes even looking like she is eating them.
I actually don’t know how these people have been sleeping on Anne Geddes this whole time, really. I mean, she dresses babies up as food on a fairly regular basis, you’d think they’d be all over that shit.
Perhaps it’s just me, but I feel like this baby salad right here feels just a tad more overt than “maybe these ballet shoes are made out of baby leather, we don’t really know.”
Poor Celine Dion is just minding her business, trying to rebuild her voice after being diagnosed with Stiff Person Syndrome, a rare and debilitating neurological condition, and here these credulous imbeciles are, accusing her of being a Satanic child trafficker illuminati queen. Was she supposed to have done this during her 16-year Vegas residency, or when she was on tour? Beyond anything else, it’s just logistically impossible.
It’s easy to brush things like this off like they don’t matter, because it’s just a bunch of tinfoil-hat-wearing crackpots on the internet, but these tinfoil-hat-wearing crackpots on the internet are basically the reason why Donald Trump is president again, and that’s a whole lot scarier than a gender neutral Baphomet.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
I'm glad to learn about all the Satanic fashion trends. BRB, sewing up a bunch of costumes for my kitties now.
Not really the point, but Celine *killed it* at the Olympics opening ceremony in Paris last year. Obviously her illness has taken a lot out of her, but her voice and star presence are as amazing as ever.
I love the Baphomet obsession. It perfectly illustrates (no pun intended) their deficiencies in "doing their research" that not a single one of them has ever understood two very basic things about "Baphomet"-
1) it's a mishearing/transcription of "Mohammed" and was initially an Islamophobic slander
2) the picture they keep referring to as a genuine illustration of Baphomet is by Eliphas Levi who made it up. Like completely made it up. Because he was a magician, for which you can safely read "socially acceptable loon".