Is Greg Abbott So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong
Plus MAGA dude gets ass beat by high schoolers.
Students across Texas have been walking out of their classes to protest Donald Trump’s ethnic cleansing/mass deportation agenda, and all those teenage acts of domestic terrorism made Gov. Greg Abbott and other rightwing state leaders pig-bitin’ mad, so they’re looking to punish the evildoers who exercised their constitutional rights on school time.
Goddamnit, First One Wants Freedom, Then The Whole Damn World Wants Freedom
Last Friday, students from several high schools and one middle school in the Austin Independent School District took part in nationwide protests over the murders and brutality perpetrated by ICE in Minnesota, including the detention of little kids (including Liam) in an ICE prison in Texas. A social media post (archive link) claiming that “Austin ISD let kids out of school, with a police escort, to protest ICE at the Capitol” prompted Abbott to demand an investigation, because taxpayer dollars are supposed to teach students that America is the best, not used for “political indoctrination.”
The school district issued a statement explaining that no, the protest was “not sponsored or endorsed by Austin ISD,” and that administrators and school police stayed with the students who walked out because students’ safety is the district’s legal responsibility. The statement, which was also sent to parents, pointed out that the school can’t legally force students to remain on campus, and that “Leaving campus during the school day to participate in a protest is considered an unexcused absence,” complete with boldface. We were a little surprised, honestly, that the statement didn’t even note that students are actually Americans with constitutional rights, but we can see how such radical sentiments might prove controversial.
Look at your future leaders, being all freedom-y (and sometimes a little spiky), and dare to feel a bit optimistic about where this country can go.
Nonetheless, Texas state Attorney General Ken Paxton — who’s running for US Senate and wants to get Donald Trump’s endorsement by looking tough — responded to the intolerable displays of democracy by demanding the Austin school district hand over all its internal communications and written policies regarding students leaving campus. He also accused the district of encouraging students to “attend a protest field trip designed to villainize brave law enforcement officials protecting our country,” because after all, young people can’t form their own ideas, and must have been put up to it. Paxton went on,
These AISD officials are trying to impose their radical political agenda on the next generation by not only allowing them to skip class to protest lawful immigration enforcement activities, but worse yet—use tax dollars to do so. My office will investigate and work to put an immediate end to any unlawful conduct by the AISD superintendent and his staff.
By Tuesday, the Texas Education Agency issued guidelines promising harsh consequences for too much free speech. The guidelines require schools to mark students absent if they skip school, with the scary threat that “schools risk losing daily attendance funding if they allow or encourage students to walk out of class.” Any teachers who “facilitate” walkouts will be “subject to investigation,” and can be punished, including by revocation of their teaching licenses. And school systems that “facilitate” walkouts will also be investigated, with sanctions that can include “the appointment of a monitor, conservator or board of managers.”
Abbott is already making a show of promising to crack down on all the imagined offenses, so Texas schools will need to brace for zealous exaggerations and threats. For instance, on Monday, students at several schools in the Austin-area Hays Consolidated ISD staged walkouts; while the protest was happening, police in Kyle, one of the towns in the Hays district, arrested two students for possessing alcohol and resisting arrest; one of the kids was also charged with “assault on a public servant.” The Kyle Police Department issued a statement clarifying that the arrests were unrelated to the walkout.
But such fine distinctions don’t matter to Abbott, who took to Twitter (Texas Tribune link) to warn of panic and hooliganism in the streets! He vowed that there would be swift consequences for the schools, never mind what the local cops said. (After all, cops in Austin are probably socialist radicals, too.) Abbot pontifitweeted:
It’s about time students like this were arrested. Harming someone is a crime -- even for students.
Disruptive walkouts allowed by schools lead to just this kind of chaos.
Schools and staff who allow this behavior should be treated as co-conspirators and should not be immune for criminal behavior.
We are also looking into stripping the funding of schools that abandon their duty to teach our kids the curriculum required by law.
More to come.
By that logic, we should also defund any high school where students sneak beer into the stands at a football game.
Maga Dude Jumps Out Of Truck And Just Starts Whaling On This One Teen Girl
Also on Monday, in Buda, one of the towns where Hays Consolidated students protested, 45-year-old Chad Michael Watts was so upset by the walkout from Johnson High School that he just had to take action, perhaps inspired by the same sense of rage and privilege that has motivated other rightwing assholes to take vigilante action against immigrants and other enemies of America.
While his truck was stopped at a light next to a sidewalk where students were protesting, Watts rolled down his windows so he could yell at a teenage girl. After some shouting back and forth, some of it possibly regarding his red MAGA hat, the girl apparently kicked his truck, his precious precious truck. Naturally, Watts then jumped out and left the truck sitting there blocking traffic while he went to shove and punch the girl. Classic self-defense, if you’re a fucking idiot. Here’s a brief report that gets all the basics in, from NBC News.
After Watts knocked the girl to the ground, other students tackled and punched him, and eventually he got back up, careful to take his precious red MAGA hat with him. The kids continued to jeer and throw soda pop at him as he stomped back to his truck, and he finally drove off after blocking traffic, which we understand could have been a capital offense if any ICE goons had been in the area.
Watts was charged with two counts of assault causing bodily injury, and police said he was the “primary aggressor” in the fracas, even if he was simply protecting the honor of his pickup. We’re sure he’ll eventually show up on Fox complaining that those damn communist kids and their communist teachers and parents won’t face punishment for hating America. That, or he’ll just vanish into a footnote in the tumultuous history of America in 2026, after whatever brief notoriety he enjoys as “the guy who got his MAGA ass handed to him by teenagers.”
We’re certain the stupidity will only ramp up from here, this being an election year, the location being Texas, and the politicians in power being wingnut Republicans.
[Houston Public Media / Texas Tribune / Texas Education Agency / CBS Austin / KXAN]
Yr Wonkette is funded entirely by reader donations. If you can, please become a paid subscriber, or if you’d like to make a one-time (or recurring) donation to help us keep you in the know, here is your radical troublemaker leftist indoctrination button!
Also, due diligence for the schmuck on Bluesky who complained about our recent headline "Trump Administration Demands To Know Why All These Nazis Keep Sucking Its C*ck":
The headline of this piece is indeed a reference to a Simpsons joke. The first subheading is a line from Gil Scott-Heron's incredible song "B-Movie." And the second subheading is also an homage to a famous Onion headline. We figure, again, that our readers are smart enough to recognize a reference when they see it. I realize you think this means we aren't smart enough to think of our own jokes, so look at us doing it yet again. Shame on us.
"Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit." - Molly Ivins