Guys, we’re concerned about Paul Ryan. As a father of a three-year-old girl, we’ve trained ourselves to be vigilant for all the signs your child could be using drugs: rapid changes in mood or behavior, anti-social tendencies, refusing to eat. (We’re 90 percent certain our daughter injects heroin into her eyeballs.)
Yeah, wow, I just saw it all. man. See, if we just cut texas on all the job creature... creators, like govmnt renev... revenews will, like, go waay up ... like stratosphosphic, cos .... er, cos the Pot Head Pixies will just glid down from Planet Gong an fix everthing. God, I gotta get this budget written up before I crash.
<i>Guys, we&rsquo;re concerned about Paul Ryan. As a father of a three-year-old girl, </i>
OK, allow me to stop you there, Mr/Miss/Mrs Berney. Reading just a bit ahead, I&#039;m thinking your concern for Mr Ryan is misplaced and an ill use of your resources. With a 3yo girl - and your first child from the sounds of it - you have <i>so</i> many other items that should take concern priority. But please continue ...
<i>...we&rsquo;ve trained ourselves to be vigilant for all the signs your child could be using drugs: rapid changes in mood or behavior, anti-social tendencies, refusing to eat.</i>
At the risk of diminishing your vigilance in such weighty matters, should you in fact witness rapid changes in mood or behavior, anti-social tendencies, and refusing to eat, in your <i>3yo daughter</i>, I would myself be much more inclined to suggest that these are signs that it is ... <i>Tuesday</i> (OK, it is Monday, but you get my point). Moving on ...
<i>(We&rsquo;re 90 percent certain our daughter injects heroin into her eyeballs.)</i>
Well yes, of course. As we all know, toddlers represent a hotbed of heroin abuse these days; what with all the resources they possess to obtain said heroin. You have of course confiscated her cell phone and car keys and checked to be certain all the baby gates are locked, <i>yes</i>? And without a doubt, injecting into the eyeballs does hinder the search for those track marks that are the sure sign of addiction.
I&#039;m sure we all wish you the best at this difficult time in your parenting. Hang in there - it only gets worse.
[To be clear, this is pure satirical snark. I&#039;m just having a bit of fun here. Parenting is a beautiful endeavor with many rewards. Drug use in children is not a joke. The end.]
Is there a short-form explanation of who&#039;s right or wrong on this strike? (My mom was a unionized teacher, and I recall she just hated it on the couple of occasions the union called a strike. She stayed out, though.)
BTW, this reminds me of the famous phrase &quot;You can&#039;t fix inner-city schools by throwing money at them&quot;, to which I reply &quot;How would you know, since no one has ever <i>tried</i> throwing money at them?&quot;
I was so fucked up when I was a kid that my best friend/stuffed animal was a bi-polar bear.
Personally, I don&#039;t care where Paul stands on weed...the takeaway from this story is learning just how much Ryan is Mitten&#039;s bitch.
Yeah, wow, I just saw it all. man. See, if we just cut texas on all the job creature... creators, like govmnt renev... revenews will, like, go waay up ... like stratosphosphic, cos .... er, cos the Pot Head Pixies will just glid down from Planet Gong an fix everthing. God, I gotta get this budget written up before I crash.
Fuck that man. and not in a good way.
My son was driving me to work today, and twice swore that he could smell pot growing nearby. (drive goes entirely through farm country)
Yes, I&#039;ve always preferred tequila myself, but to each his (or her) own.
Have you ever looked at a vice-presidential candidate... on weed?
Especially when some states have a small fraction of the population of some counties.
Coe? Cornell?
I think he is suffering from a Visine overdose. His eyes are way too white.
Is their strategy to take every possible position?
<i>Guys, we&rsquo;re concerned about Paul Ryan. As a father of a three-year-old girl, </i>
OK, allow me to stop you there, Mr/Miss/Mrs Berney. Reading just a bit ahead, I&#039;m thinking your concern for Mr Ryan is misplaced and an ill use of your resources. With a 3yo girl - and your first child from the sounds of it - you have <i>so</i> many other items that should take concern priority. But please continue ...
<i>...we&rsquo;ve trained ourselves to be vigilant for all the signs your child could be using drugs: rapid changes in mood or behavior, anti-social tendencies, refusing to eat.</i>
At the risk of diminishing your vigilance in such weighty matters, should you in fact witness rapid changes in mood or behavior, anti-social tendencies, and refusing to eat, in your <i>3yo daughter</i>, I would myself be much more inclined to suggest that these are signs that it is ... <i>Tuesday</i> (OK, it is Monday, but you get my point). Moving on ...
<i>(We&rsquo;re 90 percent certain our daughter injects heroin into her eyeballs.)</i>
Well yes, of course. As we all know, toddlers represent a hotbed of heroin abuse these days; what with all the resources they possess to obtain said heroin. You have of course confiscated her cell phone and car keys and checked to be certain all the baby gates are locked, <i>yes</i>? And without a doubt, injecting into the eyeballs does hinder the search for those track marks that are the sure sign of addiction.
I&#039;m sure we all wish you the best at this difficult time in your parenting. Hang in there - it only gets worse.
[To be clear, this is pure satirical snark. I&#039;m just having a bit of fun here. Parenting is a beautiful endeavor with many rewards. Drug use in children is not a joke. The end.]
Is there a short-form explanation of who&#039;s right or wrong on this strike? (My mom was a unionized teacher, and I recall she just hated it on the couple of occasions the union called a strike. She stayed out, though.)
He scored some weed once for $150/ounce. Or maybe $300 or $500. Anyway, he used to be able to talk the dealer down when he was young.
Wow, heroin. When my daughter was three I was only worried that she was bipolar.
So, pretty much normal then.
Thanks.
BTW, this reminds me of the famous phrase &quot;You can&#039;t fix inner-city schools by throwing money at them&quot;, to which I reply &quot;How would you know, since no one has ever <i>tried</i> throwing money at them?&quot;