461 Comments
User's avatar
Mark Linimon's avatar

The *real* answer can be found at https://www.rev.com/blog/transcripts/donald-trump-speaks-at-rally-in-las-vegas-transcript .

Do not blame me if this scares the shit out of you.

Expand full comment
Riversong's avatar

I am nauseated and terrified. How can anyone be stupid enough to vote for this moron?

Expand full comment
arcessita's avatar

The only one I thought was fake was #10, because I was skeptical about him eventually remembering what he was talking about. The rest sounded entirely real to me

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

After the first four I decided all the odds were real and all the evens were fake, which gave me a disturbingly high score.

Expand full comment
Anzu's avatar

Same with me, although it's because the vocabulary level was too high. "Feces" and "Big Tech" are too technical/abstract" for him. He'd use "shit" and "tech companies" instead.

Expand full comment
boo radley's avatar

I thought they were all right, haha.

Expand full comment
JCfromNC's avatar

Me too also. He's a living example of Poe's Law -- there's almost nothing you can put in his voice that's so outrageous that you can't believe it would be him.

Expand full comment
eddi-SABH's avatar

I hope the person doing the interview was entertained. Because he/she certainly wasn't told the truth. Interviewer: "Any drug use?" Lawyer: (quickly) My client has never been accused of that. You are just stirring up trouble." Interviewer notes: "Doesn't need them. Lives in own fantasy world."

Donald Trump completes mandatory presentencing interview after less than 30 minutes of questioning https://apnews.com/article/trump-hush-money-interview-probation-new-york-8c6e79c8b87fe361e2adce7536e31d27

Expand full comment
JR's avatar

He's told that shark story before. In Ottumwa IA in Oct 2023, and he slurred the "elecchecution" part.

Expand full comment
beb's avatar

I didn't do well on the quiz because all twelve quotes sounded exactly like someone the Felon would say.

Expand full comment
AKLynne's avatar

I am pretty sure the Home Depot guy is right wing and gives his money to Republicans. If anyone knows differently, let me know, because based on my understanding of his politics, I hate shopping at Home Depot. Anyway, you omitted the one that Joe Biden just turned into a campaign ad today. That was a doozy!

Expand full comment
Anzu's avatar

That has been my understanding as well, historically. However, it may be that the Home Depot guy has decided to not sponsor Trump specifically this year, instead giving his money to downballot races in the GOP, and the Hairless Fuhrer is now only assuming that means he's supporting Biden instead.

Expand full comment
Menotsure's avatar

"Sharks, Shocks, and Ships : The Perils of A Life By the Sea"

By Donald Jonah Trump : Seacaptain.

Expand full comment
AKLynne's avatar

Shocks, Sharks and Ships. I like that one better, but wow, try to it fast three times.

Expand full comment
Gary Seven in Space's avatar

"Run from the sharks, me boys, run from the sharks!"

Expand full comment
Morbidly Curious Wine's avatar

I got the shark one right because I read about it this morning, otherwise I tune out the spirochetes' control of what remains of Trump's brain.

Expand full comment
Tessie's avatar

He's just afraid that if he gets electrocuted, it will make his hair frizzy.

Expand full comment
Cat Cafe's avatar

#11 is, I think, my favorite, with the sudden switchback at the end

Expand full comment
Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Sheeeit, I thought they were all his quotes, forgot to even question them....

TFG has broken me.... :(

Expand full comment
AKLynne's avatar

Same here. They certainly could be.

Expand full comment
Queroloustwo's avatar

I guess Mercury won't be selling any electric outboard motors. https://www.mercurymarine.com/us/en/engines/electric/avator

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. My children don't hate me because I never had kids.

Expand full comment
Richard Von Busack's avatar

I was the more deceived

Expand full comment