Is That Sawdust Or Is Sean Hannity A Partisan Meathead? A Wonkette Investigation

Three guesses how it turns out!

Oh hey! Didn’t see you there. We’ll be right with you, we’re just picking splinters out of our nostrils because we spent a wild night with a couple of hookers and a pile of fine Colombian sawdust.

It’s like the song says: She don’t ride, she don’t ride, she don’t ride … sawdust.

Ha ha, we kid, we’re not idiots like Sean Hannity and whatever congressional investigators are so freaking desperate to nail Hunter Biden’s ass that they looked at this picture and saw three lines of cocaine laid out like they were in an old episode of “Miami Vice” or something.

If you want to get down, down on the ground … sawdust.

That picture was in a Justice Department filing for the government’s case charging Biden with lying on an application to buy a gun. One question on that form asks if the applicant is using illegal drugs at the time he is filling it out. Hunter said he was not.

The DOJ filing lays out evidence that this is not true. There are other photos of drug paraphernalia taken around that time and found in Hunter’s iCloud account, alongside the pic of those three lines of sawdust laid out on a carpenter’s worktable that for some reason experienced investigators mistook for Bolivian marching powder or whatever the slang is for cocaine these days.

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There are also text messages Hunter sent to a dealer asking if he could get ten grams of “baby powder,” and to his then-girlfriend, describing fun activities like sleeping in his car and smoking crack on a random street corner somewhere, because addiction is awful enough without having it dragged out onto every wingnut TV channel and website to be sneered at by the likes of Sean Hannity.

The filing led to one of Hannity’s finest TV moments at the start of this video. Apologies for the Young Turks clip, luckily for all of you the Hannity part is right at the start and is only 25 seconds long, after which you can immediately throw your phone into a wheat thresher:

“Take a good look at sawdust lined up in perfect little lines. Take a close look. Does that look like sawdust to you?”

Let’s see, the substance has a tan-adjacent coloring, not white, and it is sitting on what looks like a worktable in a room that looks like a workshop and there’s a pile of the substance near the lines and next to what looks like some sort of electric saw, so we’re going with YES YOU FUCKING SQUINT-EYED MEATHEAD IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE SAWDUST.

Something else you may notice about that picture is that it appears to be a framed photo that someone else took a picture of and sent to Hunter Biden. It appears to be that because that’s exactly what it is.

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The photo was sent to Hunter by famed TV psychiatrist/quack Keith Ablow. (And hoo boy, is that a name from Wonkette’s past!) Ablow at the time was counseling Hunter about his drug problem. In the course of that counseling, he sent Hunter this picture that was taken by one of his other clients, a carpenter who was also struggling with addiction.

A bit more from the Washington Post:

The message is labeled as coming from “keith ablow.” “I told him that, ultimately, he would have to choose between his art and his drug,” the message continues. “He sent me the photo and a message that said, ‘Made my choice.’”

Apparently his choice was either pour himself into his woodworking or join the Three Percenters. Possibly both! People are weird.

The Post also found one of Ablow’s self-help videos in which you can clearly see that same photo sitting on a mantle behind him, in the upper left corner:

This is all in a filing by Hunter Biden’s lawyers responding to the DOJ, by the way, but it’s a much longer filing than the list of exhibits where the DOJ put it, and golly, reading is hard, so we can’t assume Hannity or anyone on his staff actually knows how to do it.

One thing that is so annoying here is that there is plenty of other evidence one can present that Hunter was struggling with drug addiction in the fall of 2018 without falling for this obvious horse-hockey. Like all the photos of paraphernalia and texts between Hunter and his then-girlfriend that we mentioned earlier.

But mostly, it’s because Hunter himself has fucking admitted over and over and over again that he was struggling with drugs at that time. He even wrote about it in his memoir! (Wonkette cut linkie!)

We’re glad to see Hannity finally has some faith in the federal government’s investigators, though! Must be a nice change for him after years of ignoring every single piece of evidence they turned up against Donald Trump for his gazillions of crimes.

As ever, fuck Sean Hannity.

If you got bad news, you want to kick them blues … sawdust.

[Washington Post / YouTube / YouTube]

Yr Wonkette will absolutely spend your donations on drugs and weaponry. NOT! Absolutely NOT spend your donations on drugs and weaponry! Whew, that was close.