Is The Pope Catholic? Tabs, Thurs., April 16, 2026

Morning news roundup and things to read!

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Good morning good morning, it’s time for your tabs!

JD Vance and Holy Mike Johnson are trying to popesplain the Pope about Just War Theory. The US Bishops have thoughts, they are shut the fuck up. (US Conference of Catholic Bishops)

You’re doing great with American Catholics, sweetie. (Jay Kuo) Hmmm, “abruptly” canceling contract with Catholic Charities to house migrant kids, hmmm? I’m sure no lawyers will be able to point to any “animus.” (Miami Herald) I’m with Amanda: They BEEN depicting him as Jesus this whole time, how was he to know they’d “get mad” about it? (Amanda Marcotte at Salon)

It’s not censorship if it’s state-run propaganda the new Hungarian PM is shutting down :) (The Guardian)

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DOJ moves to dismiss all sedition and terrorism convictions for the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers, also to let them have weapons again, upside down smile emoji. (Emptywheel)

But they keep busting all the January 6ers for more and more child sex abuse. Like this guy, who tried (unsuccessfully) to argue his pardon covered making child sex abuse material with a child under 12. (NBC News)

Here’s someone with #math.

Yes, please impeach Pete Hegseth. (HuffPost)

Well huh! I had no idea the law that FINALLY made shell companies report their owners, which I am very much for, was actually written by Marco Rubio. Gotta … hand it to him … I guess? Anyway, the Trump administration is no longer enforcing it, surprise! (More) fraud and moneylaundering for everyone! (Senate Banking Democrats)

This unfortunate young man Clavicular apparently ODed while livestreaming, right after the entire Internet had a very good time laughing at him getting “mogged” by an objectively much handsomer man. So he seems troubled! (The Hollywood Reporter)

“Ragebait streamer” Johnny Somali just got six months in South Korea for being an antisocial piece of shit, and I’m fine with that! (The Guardian)

Do the other Justices hate Brett Kavanaugh like all the senators hate Ted Cruz? Might be! (Balls and Strikes) Oh for fuck’s sake, she apologized. (NBC News)

RFK Jr.’s diary as gross as you would expect RFK Jr.’s diary to be. (People mag)

India’s doing great on solar! Good job, India! (PV mag)

STOP! Mamdani Time.

Second homes should be taxed as fuck. Hochul and Mamdani agree! (AMNY)

Pssst wanna see some bathrooms? Some are nice and some are fugly! (Houzz)

My beloved friend the late Chris Gaffney would always play this song as soon as I walked into the bar, even if he’d already played it: Saw your brother yesterday, he’s a loser. Living in Fontana, with a kitchen for his farm. What about the poor mom-and-pop Montana (rhymes with Fontana!) kitchen farms? Montana Sen. Steve Daines would just like to know. (Lizz Winstead on Facebook)

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