18 Comments

Not to mention Newt!

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This is such a stretch to the hoop, I would give it eleventy upfists, were that possible.

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Another robe.

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Actually, now I think of it, I also guessed Eye-Tee. So divide those imaginary winnings by imaginary 2.

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It's lobsters all the way down.

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What? He's not Finnish.

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Hmm. Bay of Tonkin. Watergate. Iran-Contra. COINTELPRO. The Office of Special Plans.

Gee, I guess all conspiracy theories are just bullshit.

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Oh, they're clean now.

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Hand of God!!

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TEACH THE CONTROVERSY!

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<i>Is Jorge Bergoglio a male? </i>

Anyone who watched "The Borgias" knows the new Pope has to sit in a special chair and let someone reach up and grab his junk to prove he's not another Pope Joan.

Papal Junk Grabber has to be right up there as one of the worst jobs in the world.

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No, they pretty much offer the typical type of mustache ride, it's just who they're offering them two that's different.

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Muslins did it! (There, that was easy, wasn't it?)

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From my understanding (Go cracked.com!) the chair was actually just what it looks like, a fancy terlitt...

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Just after the announcement was made, I checked the La Stampa website (the only Italian newspaper I could remember). They claimed the election was down to three in the last round of balloting, Ouelette, Bergolglio and Scola. Was there a leak, or do the Italian press make things up?

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I think that's Pope salad-tossing.

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