It Is Your Monthly Reminder, Gentle Wonkette Readers, To #PayTheFuckUp

Hello, Wonkers! It is once again that time of the month where we cry poor, and ask you for money, and remind you how #sad your life would be without us, because of how you would be dead or in jail like a common Ted Nugent. Do I feel guilty about asking you for money in a week when we took off most of a Monday to go outside and frolic and not work like we are President of the United States Donald Trump? Pfft, like there is anything in the universe I DON'T feel guilty about! And that is one of them!

SHUT UP, ME, WE NEEDED IT.

You're not terribly behind this month; based on this month's #loveofferings so far, and how it always slows down right at the end, we're probably under our monthly nut of $30,000 (WHAT? RIDICULOUS!) by about $5000, which you are good and will make up because YOU LOVE US and WE LOVE YOU and we LOVE EACH OTHER, WITH MONEY (FROM YOU).

Here, have a picture of my grandbaby. She is sort of like your grandbaby, too, except she is mine.

Now have a picture of my daughter, in the SAME OUTFIT, #sharing, JUST LIKE YOU DO, WITH US.

And that is why you will give us money, see you next month, the end.

Wonkette is ad-free, investment-banker-free, don't sell your shit to ANYONE, and is supported SOLELY by readers like you. We love you.