It's The 2024 Republican Primary, And Everyone's A Loser!

It's your expendable Sunday show rundown.

As we keep getting further and closer to the eventual Republican presidential primary debates, we have no shortage of Republicans jumping into the already cramped clown car. Let's take a look at the three we saw this Sunday!

Bottom Of The Barrel

We begin with Donald Trump's formerloyal sycophantVice President, "Hanging" Mike Pence, on Fox News Sunday.

Host Shannon Bream began by pointing out how Pence is unable to reach the base of Republican voters (on account of the whole wanted to murder him on January 6 thing) and that he's still in single digits in the polls. So what "bold" strategy does Pence have to get elected?

PENCE: [...] I authored the first legislation to defund Planned Parenthood that had ever been authored and passed in the House of Representatives. [...]

Not sure pointing out you were first in line to snatch away women's bodily autonomy is a winning strategy with independents there, Mikey.

Bream followed up by asking further about Pence's theocratic stance on abortion, pointing out he wants a 15-week national abortion ban (so much for "states' rights"). Bream then read a USA Today article showing polls pointing out Pence's (and most of the GOP's) abortion policies are actually very, very unpopular.

BREAM: "Americans overwhelmingly oppose [...] a federal law banning abortion nationwide. By 80 percent to 14 percent, those surveyed opposed the idea, including 65 percent of Republicans and 83 percent of independents." So how do you sell this to the American public that, according to these numbers, doesn't want a national ban?

So how did Pence react when confronted with these statistical facts?

PENCE: This weekend we are celebrating a historic victory [...] when one year ago, the Supreme Court of the United States sent Roe vs. Wade to the ash heap of history. [...] I couldn't be more proud of the some 20 states that have advanced protections for the unborn and support for women facing crisis pregnancy. [...] As men and women step forward for office in the Republican Party all across the country, that we speak with clarity about a commitment to the sanctity of life. That we make it clear we'll stand on principle, but we'll also stand with compassion. [...] That's how we are gonna win hearts and minds. [...] I also think it's a winning issue.

It's not. She just showed him that it's not. These people are not good at taking in new information.

Pence also supported Sen. Tommy Tuberville holding military promotions hostage over abortion policy because religious fundamentalism outweighs whatever hollow pandering "support our military" slogan that Republicans blather out.

It's clear that Pence is just gonna keep spewing the same canned, rehearsed garbage that ensured he was a horrible talk radio host , governor of Indiana and single-term   vice president . All with Pence's trademark disingenuous smirk someone mistakenly told him was "charming" rather than smugly condescending. It will be a genuine pleasure to watch Pence's political career truly be sent to the "ash heap of history" once and for all.

Hail Mary

Meanwhile, over on ABC's "This Week," former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was continuing his Sisyphean attempt to win the Republican presidential nomination.

Host Jonathan Karl asked thorough questions regarding Russia's almost coup , the continuing Ukraine conflict, and Christie's differing view from Pence on abortion.

But we're going to focus on Karl asking Christie about being booed in New Hampshire while speaking to GOP voters and criticizing Donald Trump. Karl, in light of this reception, asked if Christie thinks his message is resonating. Christie gave an answer that was very optimistic for himself.

CHRISTIE: Absolutely evidence it's resonating, Jonathan. I’ve been in the race for less than three weeks and have already in third place in New Hampshire, only four points behind Ron DeSantis, who’s been in the race for a longer time and is supposed to be the co-front-runner. [...]

Christie sure has high hopes.

But we don't know if that's as successful for Christie as he believes it is when Trump is beating everyone by more than 34 points and Christie's "third place" is single digits. If anything, the latest New Hampshire poll reflects the ever-faster plummeting of DeSantis's campaign.

After criticizing Trump's latest incoherent speech, Christie gave a preview of what his general election strategy would be if he ever makes it that far.

CHRISTIE: This guy [Trump] lost in '18. He lost the Senate and the White House in '20. The House in '18. He lost two more governorships and the Senate race in 2022. He is a three-time loser. We do not need our party to go to a fourth loss because Joe Biden, in my opinion, Jon, is an awful president. And we can't afford to have him from age 82 to 86 in the White House or even worse have Kamala Harris assume the presidency. That's the stakes here.

While we are here for any time people are reminded that Trump is a huge loser whose only real victory was getting elected in 2016, Christie's critique of Biden is precisely why some in the GOP are freaking out about Trump being the nominee. They would love to run on Biden's age, but Trump being the nominee takes that away due to his age.

Long Shot

We conclude with this week's newest entry to the Republican presidential primary race:  Former Texas Congressman Will Hurd .

Also appearing on ABC's "This Week," Hurd gave an interview placing himself in the very crowded "moderate" lane. Since Wonkette has written many times about how much Will Hurd sucks previously , we'll just summarize with this tweet from Tim Miller of The Bulwark regarding Florida Sen. Rick Scott possibly entering this race.

— (@)  

When your candidacy's low standing is being used to measure how badly delusional someone else's is, maybe you shouldn't waste everyone's time.

We'll save our readers' time by not wasting more of theirs.

Have a week.

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