It's All Fun And Games Until Coronavirus Starts Barebacking Through MAGA-Ville

The White House didn't want you to see these numbers for some reason.

Hey data nerds, wanna put on your data bikini and take a deep dive into the deep end of some data? If so, go find a science journal, NERD.

Just kidding, Wonkette is often mentioned in the same breath as the New England Journal of Medicine when people are talkiing about science publications, so let's #DoData. NBC News has released some (leaked) COVID-19 projection data from the White House coronavirus task force, data they didn't want us to see for some reason. Maybe it's because, while Donald Trump is out there lyingand saying coronavirus numbers are going "very rapidly" down "almost everywhere," the truth is thattheir own data shows case numbers going up as much as 1,000 percent , specifically in the heartland with the white Trump voters who helped propel Trump to his historic negative three-million-vote "victory" in 2016.

Dr. John Ross, a medical professor at Harvard, pointed out a thing about this data, which was accurate as of May 7:

The fastest rising areas in the US for COVID cases are very white and very Trumpy, according to this slide somebody… https: //t.co/onljvn6ChA

— John Ross (@John Ross) 1589246717.0 

Oh darlin', yes they are! As Ross notes, all but one of the fastest-growing counties in America were Trump counties in 2016.

Let's look at the chart of the fastest-growing COVID-counties a li'l bit closer:

• Trousdale County, Tennessee

• Leavenworth County, Kansas

• Buchanan County, Missouri

• Muhlenberg County, Kentucky, yes, where "Paradise" is, like from the John Prine song 

• Colfax County, Nebraska

• Stearns County, Minnesota

• Kenosha County, Wisconsin

• Polk County, Iowa

• Hall County, Georgia

• Racine County, Wisconsin

Only Polk County in Iowa was not a Trump county.

If you do some quick Googling, you'll find that most of those outbreaks can be traced to prisons and meatpacking plants and the like. And what happens to outbreaks that start in prisons and meatpacking plants? The employees take them home to their families and neighbors and MAGA Sexxx Social Happy Hour Swingers groups, and before you know it, there's a new sheriff in town, and its name is COVID-19.

Republicans may have been saying lately that there must just be something about those people in the prisons and the meatpacking plants and their lifestyles that's spreading COVID-19, but unless Stephen Miller's wife is a participant in the same lifestyle now spreading corona-cooties all over the White House, those Republicans are incorrect.

The chart shows that in the top two counties, there was a week-over-week increase of more than ONE-THOUSAND PERCENT.

But wait, there's more! Because there's another county chart of "locations to watch," because their numbers are showing disturbing trends.

Let's see who's on that list:

• Ramsey County, Minnesota

• Jackson County, Missouri

• Lancaster County, Nebraska

• Dallas County, Texas

• Rutherford County, Tennessee

• Douglas County, Nebraska

• East Baton Rouge Parish, Louisiana

• Hennepin County, Minnesota

• Franklin County, Ohio

• Fort Bend County, Texas

Now, if you don't recognize the county names, then we can tell you it's actually mostly Clinton counties, because those represent places like Baton Rouge, Kansas City, Minneapolis-St. Paul, Columbus, Dallas, and the Houston suburbs. Lancaster County, Nebraska, is where Lincoln is, and it was a virtual tie between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

But they sure are all in the heartland. Many of them, you'll notice, are in the same states where big rural outbreaks have happened.

If you look at it on a city level, as opposed to a county level, you see massively increasing coronavirus infections in places like Gainesville, Georgia (Hall County), and Amarillo, Texas, as well as Central City, Kentucky, and St. Joseph, Missouri, which showed up on the county map above as "Muhlenberg" and "Buchanan."

Point is, again, Donald Trump is full of shit and lies when he says the pandemic is decreasing pretty much everywhere. It may be decreasing in some Democratic-run large cities that got hit hardest first and responded with stay-at-home orders backed by science.

But in the heartland? In TRUMPLANDIA? Coronavirus is barebacking its way through the voters Donald Trump needs if Russia is going to help him steal the 2020 election again on a technicality, and it's only going to get worse as time goes by. And it doesn't matter how much the White House de-balls the CDC or tries to fuck with the death counts by pretending COVID-19 victims just died in car accidents, because piles of dead bodies don't lie.

Hey, did you guys hear Donald Trump is jonesing to do a bunch of MAGA rallies as soon as he gets the OK? Yup. 

Mazel tov and shit!

[ NBC News ]

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