146 Comments

Blow darts?

Expand full comment

I'm getting flashbacks to Airplane where they roll the credits and then you see the guy in the cab going "Okay, I'll give him another half hour, but that's it!"

Expand full comment

Drones with fully automatic blow darts.Just spray the crowds and hope for the best.

Expand full comment

You know, I've always wanted to try out those elephant trank guns.

Expand full comment

People should be up front about scheduling no-shows.

Expand full comment

Sméagol was more charming, physically attractive and trustworthy than the orange thing.

Expand full comment

agreed. I've read a number of studies and articles by experts on the subject over the years, and they all came to the same conclusion as you did.

Expand full comment

I'm for it.

Expand full comment

You know, it's actually a trope in romance novels for one lover to be decked out to the nines and the other to be filthy and sweaty.

Expand full comment

OH!So...A coworker had a bad seizure a few days ago.She broke her two front teeth.She's diabietic and so young. Too young for this shit.I don't pray, but I'm hoping it's nothing serious.

Expand full comment

"Joe Biden once said he would punch President Trump behind the barn. Why has he not carried out this threat and it is a complete abandonment of his entire platform?"

Expand full comment

Seriously, Morgan left out the bit of "Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought this would happen to me . . ."

Expand full comment

In 2016 police used a robot to kill a sniper in Dallas.

https://www.texastribune.or...

Expand full comment

You know, the only good thing about the rumored return of TFG to social media would be watching him drown in litigation and bad hair days.

Expand full comment

It's Psaki Ptuesday! With Dr. Pfauci! That's our joke, and we're STICKIN' WITH IT.

In my family, back in the day, one of the running gags was making up sentences full of silent letters, but with all the letters pronounced: one winner was, "Do gnomes eat gnocchi with knives?" (This is what happens when you're raised by literature professors--it's worse than being raised by wolves.)

Expand full comment