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Matthew Hooper's avatar

We’re running cocktail reruns this week too - Rebecca gave me the week off, which is great because the bar is gonna be slammed. Today is known as “blackout Wednesday” in the industry, which should tell you everything.

Post booze emergencies here and I’ll help.

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paxpax's avatar

Wednesday before Thanksgiving is one of the four drinking holidays in Chicago -

Other drinking holidays

* Saint Patrick's Day (of course)

* Gay Pride (last Sunday of June)

* Halloween

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fuflans's avatar

i have a vague memory of a blackout chicago christmas eve that involved river north corporate lunch drinking, loft on clybourn cocktail party drinking*, mass at some random lincoln park church (no drinking, only catholic friends disapproving of anglican things, some sobering up things) and nightcaps at some random lincoln park bar. me and my bestie totaled our drinking hours at 13 which was our record at the time**.

* my actual home at the time.

**we are still in Chi but we are in ravenswood. which is so much more responsible. also we are ancient.

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paxpax's avatar

I’m now sober (and an Anglican) and in Edgewater

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fuflans's avatar

we are prolly on the same ICE patrols!

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tehbaddr's avatar

I see no cocktail recipe in this post, just Monkey Bread and other culinary oddities.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

its a separate post

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The Covfefes ASAP!'s avatar

So is the blackout supposed to be preemtive or defensive? O would have guessed the blackouts happened on Friday as the name implies.

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Bupkus231's avatar

I remember someone telling me that the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving was one of the biggest nights of the year for bars and other liquor establishment - something about all those college kids being home for the holiday, and partying out before the "family gathering". Personal experience from my college days.

Conversely, when I lived in a college town ( working ), those Wednesdays were pretty quiet.

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cmd Human Scum's avatar

One year my adult kid took me out to a bar/restaurant for an early birthday on that Wednesday. It was a few years past his college days. It did get pretty crowded as the evening went on. We had food, which was pretty tasty, but I remember I was able to out-drink him; we were drinking pitchers of beer, which I had not had since my youth! And I had no hangover and got up and cooked Thanksgiving.

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Trux Mint In Box's avatar

Oh you didn’t outdrink him or wake up with no hangover. This is actually the afterlife.

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cmd Human Scum's avatar

I DID!

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Elderly John's avatar

Enjoy the holiday. Maybe you can reduce this to something that can be done in a pine-paneled basement family room? https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQ3oYKJir_Q/?igsh=ZGUzMzM3NWJiOQ==

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Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

Blackout Wednesday followed by gummies Thursday.

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Andre's avatar

It's bad enough facing the family, I can't imagine dealing with them nursing a hangover..

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Shocktreatment's avatar

The trick is not getting 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘦 sober until the coast is clear...

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hillary's left one's avatar

I mean, Jesus, this is why Allah invented the Bloody Mary I’m pretty sure.

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Free beach's avatar

Bloody Marys be awesome.

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Joe Schmoe, Troublemaker's avatar

Is New Years Eve still referred to as Rookie Night in the industry, to the best of your encyclopedic knowledge?

Asking for a friend. Only tended bar for two of those back inna day, and both were utter train wrecks.

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"M"'s avatar

Like ... bartender hazing

?

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Whale Chowder's avatar

It's like St. Paddy's day, AKA "amateur hour," where the lightweights come out to par-TAY, with the expected results.

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"M"'s avatar

My brain just filled up so fast with things to say that it stopped me from saying anything at all, lolsigh

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Trux Mint In Box's avatar

I got married young and when I got divorced at 29 I had never heard of this phenomenon of Wednesday before Thanksgiving being the singles bar night of the year.

Still think the timing is kind of weird.

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AIB's avatar

Around here, young people back to visit their parents for the holiday congregate at the bars on Main Street on Wednesday night. Sounds like a perfect hookup situation to me. Everyone looks hotter than they did in high school, and everyone has an excuse for splitting at the end of the weekend. Where to enjoy after hours activity is a problem. I, of course, just look on in amusement. Looking forward to tonight.

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Trux Mint In Box's avatar

Makes sense

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Mostly that, by me. Collitch keeds and recently-out-of-the-nesters come for the holiday

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Smoke O'Possum's avatar

That and Christmas night were always Old Home nights for friends to gather.

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ReSister For Life Callyson's avatar

I would have thought that Friday would be the blackout day—between having had to deal with difficult relatives (not my problem thank God) and possibly Black Friday shopping hassles, you’d think that would be the big drinking day. But more power to you, Matthew, and all bartenders!

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Gwyneth's avatar

I have vivid memories of bartending the night before Thanksgiving. May the force be with you.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

It's surprising I didn't see anything like the blackout rage gallon back in the day.

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ames's avatar

Isn't that just updated wapatooie? Some asshole always threw some everclear or 151 in it and it got you drunk as hell, too!

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Sherry's avatar

We called it Purple Jesus. Often made in a trashcan with fruit sometimes added in. True story, once time our friend Jeff got drunk as hell, threw up and felt like crap for days. He felt all stuffy and did one big nostril suck only to have a chunk of pineapple dislodge in his nasal passage.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

There are many paths to that goal. Including hydration and maybe electrolytes in the mix seems recent, but not unwelcome.

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VaselineHabits's avatar

I'll light a candle for you Hooper

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Artemus Gordon's avatar

We always called it "Amateur Night".

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Richard S's avatar

I thought that was St Patrick's Day.

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Stanta Knows's avatar

You have to start getting ready on Feb 14, St. Practice Day.

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Artemus Gordon's avatar

In the before times, St. Patrick's Day was bad, but nothing compared to Thanksgiving Eve. Other than transportation-related industries, nobody (not cooking that is) was working the next day and everyone was out, particularly salespeople that knew hell was coming.

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Majordomo Billy Bojangles's avatar

New Year's Eve

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Free beach's avatar

Jeez Rebecca, Nancy ray gun jokes aren’t complete without oral Roberts.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Use Chicken Broth instead of Water for your Stove Top Stuffing. Thank you!

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Cajun Kid's avatar

A previous comment made by me questioned the location of Betty Ford's dessert. As it turns out, I am the problem. And nobody likes a problem.

The Kid regrets the error.

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AthenaH2SO4's avatar

Vance isn't allowed to have any of The Famous Bacon Turkey. Also we would probably hurl the compost bin at him.

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SterWonk's avatar

Yeah, but how many people buy turkey cold-cuts?

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SterWonk's avatar

From my brother, on FB: 'Speaker Johnson comes off as a weak, whiny, and wimpy wuss. Nancy Pelosi's pinky toe could snap this little man in half.'

‘"In Triage Every Day": A Beleaguered Speaker Says He’s Overwhelmed'

-- 'In a podcast interview, Speaker Mike Johnson opened up about the crushing demands of a job that he joked was his in name only.'

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/us/politics/speaker-mike-johnson-beleagured.html?unlocked_article_code=1.4E8.tKO9.xbtkp9UJUkIp&smid=url-share

'After several bruising weeks for Speaker Mike Johnson, a soft-focus podcast interview alongside his wife, conducted by Katie Miller, the wife of Stephen Miller, one of President Trump’s top advisers, had all the ingredients for a flattering reset.

'What emerged from the interview instead was a portrait of a Republican leader barely keeping his head above water in a job to which he does not appear particularly well suited, a conversation full of tragically revealing details packaged as rueful humor but with the biting sting of truth.

'“We have this joke that I’m not really a speaker of the House,” Mr. Johnson, who represents Louisiana, said in the latest episode of “The Katie Miller Podcast.”

'It came across as less of a joke and more of an assessment of how he has chosen to wield his power. [...] Ms. Miller’s newish podcast offers conservative leaders a warm bath of an interview. They are peppered with questions about their family routines and their favorite foods. But even on this forgiving platform, Mr. Johnson presented himself as a man toiling to fulfill his duties at a moment when his weak grip on his conference appears to be slipping even further.'

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Resource NW's avatar

Remember, he was the only guy all the MAGATTs agreed to not object to. Everyone is amazed he has lasted this long.

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SterWonk's avatar

True. And even then, it was still a clusterfuck.

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

Don’t really care much about the Thanksgiving meal…turkey and the fixings are fine, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Would be fine with Chinese food. Mrs Brit 🦡🍄🐍 has her own turkey-based traditions for Christmas, so we’re going all-out in December. Fried turkey doesn’t specifically fit within her oeuvre, but she’s fine with it only taking an hour, plus I do it. But the local fam expects turkey tomorrow, so we bought the dinner pre-packaged from a local cafe (shop local!). More time for drinking, and Macey’s parade (which the Mrs. is culturally curious about)! No sportball, because WTF?

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

For the night before, to cleanse the palate, made sautéed cabbage with BACON GREASE to go with my slow-cooker beef and baby carrots from the garden (the carrots, not the beef). Everything is truly better with bacon.

Cheers to all for 🦃day!

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Resource NW's avatar

Beforetimes I would go to the local diner and get a veggie omelette... with bacon inside. EBWB!

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FurryCaterwauling's avatar

[Moved to current open thread.]

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Goonemeritus's avatar

As an Italian I am poorly qualified to critique other cultures deserts. Even my immigrant family would walk to the Jewish bakery rather than face another cannoli

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FurryCaterwauling's avatar

My mother thought Thanksgiving dinner was the most important recurring family thing. I flew to Houston several times because my brother's family lived there. I suggested having Thanksgiving dinner one week earlier and pretend that it was the actual day. She refused. I offered a compromise. I would fly out on Thanksgiving day on the first available flight and fly back on Saturday night. This was acceptable. I never did understand her requirement that it be *on that exact day*.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I have a friend whose mother insisted that the entire family had to be together on Christmas morning, so his kids celebrated Christmas on Dec. 24 and got on the road at 5:00 AM Christmas morning to be up at the family homestead for that all-important Christmas morning.

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Goonemeritus's avatar

It's my favorite holiday, but I am doing it on Saturday to accommodate other family get togethers.

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AthenaH2SO4's avatar

Linking to my recipe further down, because I am obnoxiously proud of this. BTW, this has actually resulted in turkey so tender that it's a little tricky to carve because it just kind of falls apart as the knife touches it.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/its-wonkettes-mommyblogging-thanksgiving/comment/181513064

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SterWonk's avatar

What's your name's molarity or pH?

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AthenaH2SO4's avatar

1.01 pH at the moment, I think.

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calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

Gee, I step away for a minute and it seems like there's more news! I'll have to catch up. In the meantime, here's a palate cleanser. Marsh Family parody about Empty G resigning.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr0_HN9KNCs

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Babe Paley's avatar

They are so great!

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

“𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘥,” 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘚𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘒𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘵.

Uh huh. Does he remember what he heard five minutes ago?

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pskbh's avatar

Wouldn't matter. It's changing every 5 minutes.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Not even.

And on the off chance that he does he doesn't give a good gawd damn.

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cmd Human Scum's avatar

He'll only care if it turns out it was ANTIFA or an illegal immigrant who shot them.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Unfortunately for our poor, beleaguered President, the left isn't violent.

Political violence is a right wing phenomenon only.

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Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

As a former boy scout, boy scout leader, parent and grandparent to scouts and scout leaders, boys, girls, men, women, I have to say that the main difference in the scouts, is that they had to up their game as far as restrooms, which has made everybody happy...

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

This world would be such a better place if God set it up so that every human male, upon reaching puberty, would have their penises grow to exactly nine inches when erect.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

This petty prick is using kids as props in his indignant, blisteringly ignorant attacks on trans or intersex individuals. He unequivocally demonstrates who the real monster actually is.

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Kateorite's avatar

Petey at the kids table, nuhn nuhn nuhn na go warfighter.

Grow up & get help, you lackwit.

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