It's Your GOP Mugshot Fashion Review!

We consider this a small public service.

We all read Wonkette for the hottest fashion takes on this current internet! So if you thought you were gonna miss out on an in-depth look at the jailhouse haute couture of That Man and his BFFs (JK, he has not one real friend on this earth), you were so wrong! 

Anyway, since even the Bible says humor is a healthy coping mechanism (it does not say this), let’s analyze the sartorial choices of some of the worst people alive! I only picked my faves, but feel free to talk about the other fine fits of the week in the comments! Don’t forget to hit like and subscribe and stay tuned for my future belly tea endorsement!!!!

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Mark Meadows

The charges: Two! One of violation of the Georgia RICO Act; one of solicitation of violation of oath by a public officer.

The fit: This wardrobe communicates one thing: “I am not averse to perusing the discount racks at Men’s Wearhouse even when I can afford fancy designer suits and truly despise the persons of the working class.” 

The verdict: Not exactly a zaddy, but he’s on his way!!!

Rudy Giuliani

The charges: Thirteen! Three of solicitation of violation of oath by a public officer; three of false statements; two of conspiracy to commit false statements and writings; two of conspiracy to commit forgery in the first degree; one of violation of the Georgia RICO Act; one of conspiracy to commit impersonating a public officer; one of conspiracy to commit filing false documents.

The fit: This combo says “Ooga booga chooga! I like a mixy matchy wacky pattern! Lob dob mob HA! I have put many corrupt Italian Americans in jail, including my own self! I’ve also put thousands of already-oppressed New Yorkers of color in jail for stupid reasons and basically claimed I was the biggest hero of 9/11! Plus I almost maybe did a cum in that Borat movie! It would’ve sounded like a backed-up vacuum shooting dust!” 

The verdict: A chaotic dungheap GOD!!!!

Jenna Ellis

The charges: Two! One of violation of the Georgia RICO Act; one of solicitation of violation of oath by a public officer.

The fit: This iconic girl boss uniform says, “I put on a NECKLACE and prayed to a GOD I don’t really BELIEVE IN and dissociated my way back to a sorority mixer where I WAS the meanest one and I shall REMAIN proud of THAT for the REST of my ADULT LIFE!!!”

The verdict: One of our worst contemporary white women, and that is saying something, Mama!!!!

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Donald Trump

The charges: Thirteen! Three of solicitation of violation of oath by public officer; two of conspiracy to commit forgery in the first degree; two of conspiracy to commit false statements; two of false statements and writings; one of violation of the Georgia RICO Act; one of conspiracy to commit filing false documents; one of filing false documents; one of conspiracy to commit to impersonating a public officer.

The fit: This ensemble says, “I have been made aware of the colors of the American flag. Also, if the concept known as ‘kindness’ were incarnate in human form, I would piss on it out of my tiny, acrid flesh-hole, which is itself a portal to Hell.” 

The verdict: Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this motherfucker walks, but at least we got this moment and I’m grateful to the good folks of Georgia who worked hard to make this happen uh, I mean, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THIS HARD, KING!!!