Oh, buckle up—here comes the sermon from the Church of Congressional Hypocrisy.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold the Get Out of Jail Free Act of 2025! Drafted not by Parker Brothers, but by our very own public servants—those noble defenders of law and order who suddenly get squeamish when the law and order flashlight swings their way.
See, when you get investigated, you don’t get a polite text from the FBI saying,
> “Hey buddy, just FYI—we’re grabbing your phone records this week. Let us know if Tuesday’s inconvenient.”
But if you’re a senator? Oh, baby, you get a golden parachute for your privacy. And not just a “we’re sorry for the inconvenience” note—no, we’re talking half a million dollars per peek at your call logs. That’s not oversight—that’s hush money in legislative form.
They’ve basically written a law that says:
> “If Jack Smith so much as sneezes in our direction, we get to sue the taxpayers.”
The same people who thunder about “law and order,” “no one being above the law,” and “draining the swamp” just installed a hot tub in it—with taxpayer money.
It’s like watching someone rob the store and then demand a refund for emotional distress.
So yes, snarky baby Marky’s gospel of the day is this:
If accountability feels like persecution, maybe you weren’t innocent to begin with.
Just another reminder that Merrick Garland held back on appointing Jack Smith PURPOSELY because he’s a Federalist Society stooge with his own Federalist Society fanpage, linked below.
Merrick Garland put Tim McVeigh in the federal death chamber barely six years after the Oklahoma City bombing. Do you know how unheard of that is, for a federal death penalty case to take six years from crime to execution? That’s what Merrick Garland can do when he WANTS to do something.
He didn’t want Trump convicted because paper-pushers like Garland care far more about protecting the image of the system than about actual people. A former President sitting in jail makes the whole thing look bad and must be avoided at all costs. Job #1 is protecting the system, at all times and at all costs.
We should probably count ourselves fortunate Obama didn’t get him onto the Supreme Court.
I'd click the link, but I've already gotten several beat downs by executive branch mouthbreathers, and fear getting more beat downs. So like in Harry Potter novels, I don't say the devils name out loud. But I agree with you, he's a paper pusher whose main function is to protect the system.
"...if a slim majority of voters in swing states hadn’t decided they’d rather have a genetically damaged reincarnation of Hitler as president instead of a highly competent Black woman."
"In summary and in conclusion, upon receipt of those assurances and guidance, Smith will see you mouthbreathers behind the gym after third period and he hopes y’all brought a change of underpants, ‘cause he’s gonna make you shit the ones you’re wearing."
Jack Smith has spent a career going after the worst, most dangerous criminals there are. He's not going to be afraid of a few punks in Congress. What losers they are!
I'm sure some court somewhere will say that Smith can't testify in public because BS reasons. And any lower court decision will ultimately go all the way up to the trump court.
Oh, buckle up—here comes the sermon from the Church of Congressional Hypocrisy.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold the Get Out of Jail Free Act of 2025! Drafted not by Parker Brothers, but by our very own public servants—those noble defenders of law and order who suddenly get squeamish when the law and order flashlight swings their way.
See, when you get investigated, you don’t get a polite text from the FBI saying,
> “Hey buddy, just FYI—we’re grabbing your phone records this week. Let us know if Tuesday’s inconvenient.”
But if you’re a senator? Oh, baby, you get a golden parachute for your privacy. And not just a “we’re sorry for the inconvenience” note—no, we’re talking half a million dollars per peek at your call logs. That’s not oversight—that’s hush money in legislative form.
They’ve basically written a law that says:
> “If Jack Smith so much as sneezes in our direction, we get to sue the taxpayers.”
The same people who thunder about “law and order,” “no one being above the law,” and “draining the swamp” just installed a hot tub in it—with taxpayer money.
It’s like watching someone rob the store and then demand a refund for emotional distress.
So yes, snarky baby Marky’s gospel of the day is this:
If accountability feels like persecution, maybe you weren’t innocent to begin with.
Just another reminder that Merrick Garland held back on appointing Jack Smith PURPOSELY because he’s a Federalist Society stooge with his own Federalist Society fanpage, linked below.
Merrick Garland put Tim McVeigh in the federal death chamber barely six years after the Oklahoma City bombing. Do you know how unheard of that is, for a federal death penalty case to take six years from crime to execution? That’s what Merrick Garland can do when he WANTS to do something.
He didn’t want Trump convicted because paper-pushers like Garland care far more about protecting the image of the system than about actual people. A former President sitting in jail makes the whole thing look bad and must be avoided at all costs. Job #1 is protecting the system, at all times and at all costs.
We should probably count ourselves fortunate Obama didn’t get him onto the Supreme Court.
https://fedsoc.org/bio/merrick-garland
Momma is on to something here!
I'd click the link, but I've already gotten several beat downs by executive branch mouthbreathers, and fear getting more beat downs. So like in Harry Potter novels, I don't say the devils name out loud. But I agree with you, he's a paper pusher whose main function is to protect the system.
This still hurts.
"...if a slim majority of voters in swing states hadn’t decided they’d rather have a genetically damaged reincarnation of Hitler as president instead of a highly competent Black woman."
Ohhh kaaay, hoofwanking. Whose hoof, or hooves? Their own? Satan's? Satan Light? Does anyone get forced to carry to term, or did they all volunteer?
Evan, your recountings give me life.
Jack Smith makes every part of my moral core tingly
My dream is to see Jack Smith cross examine Trump himself on the witness stand someday.
Must see TV.
Sit and swivel till you squeal piggies!
evergreen comment, for alllllllll the fuckers in charge right now.
"every goddamned one of them sounds like pianos just fell on their heads and the paramedic is trying to figure out how much brain damage there is."
total clown show
I just hope that smith’s testimony (if it happens) is not as disappointing as Mueller’s was.
Yeah me too. Smith definitely comes across as far less reticent than Mopy Mueller.
I wonder if almost lawyer Gym will allow that
A-men
Hitler's dog was named Blondi.
"In summary and in conclusion, upon receipt of those assurances and guidance, Smith will see you mouthbreathers behind the gym after third period and he hopes y’all brought a change of underpants, ‘cause he’s gonna make you shit the ones you’re wearing."
Pure poetry, Evan.
Ta, Evan. I really want Smith to testify publicly, but I won't hold my breath. I'm already blue enough.
Jack Smith has spent a career going after the worst, most dangerous criminals there are. He's not going to be afraid of a few punks in Congress. What losers they are!
Jack Smith has more cajones than DT and his entire cabinet!
I'm sure some court somewhere will say that Smith can't testify in public because BS reasons. And any lower court decision will ultimately go all the way up to the trump court.