Jack Smith To Congressional Republicans: Say When, Bitch
HOW 'BOUT IT?
Resistance and defiance come from the funniest places! Sometimes they come from grandmas at “No Kings” rallies responding to Donald Trump declaring “antifa” to be a terrorist organization by making millions of variations of the same sign that says “Aunt Tifa? That’s me!” Sometimes it’s the special counsel who was very much in the process of nailing career criminal and traitor Donald Trump’s ass, and probably would have if Merrick Garland had appointed him sooner and the Supreme Court hadn’t ruled that “Yes Kings” and the classified documents case hadn’t been assigned to Sparky The Wonder Judge in Florida, and, and, and …
Oh yeah, and if a slim majority of voters in swing states hadn’t decided they’d rather have a genetically damaged reincarnation of Hitler as president instead of a highly competent Black woman.
But congressional Republicans, especially absolute fucking losers like Rep. Jim Jordan — just the dumbest, most pointless scum of the earth humans — have convinced themselves that they’re trolling Jack Smith lately, daring him to come before Congress to face their wrath — and he just responded yesterday through his lawyers: Name the time and place, you sons of bitches.
Oh and yes, he’s offering to testify publicly, not behind closed doors, so that they may discuss his investigations into Donald Trump in front of the American people, who deserve to hear about them from the source.
In a letter to Jordan and Chuck Grassley — chairs of the House and Senate Judiciary committees, respectively — Smith’s lawyers laid it out.
Given the many mischaracterizations of Mr. Smith’s investigation into President Trump’s alleged mishandling of classified documents and role in attempting to overturn the results of the 2020 election, Mr. Smith respectfully requests the opportunity to testify in open hearings before the House and Senate Judiciary Committees.
During the investigation of President Trump, Mr. Smith steadfastly adhered to established legal standards and Department of Justice guidelines, consistent with his approach throughout his career as a dedicated public servant. He is prepared to answer questions about the Special Counsel’s investigation and prosecution, but requires assurance from the Department of Justice that he will not be punished for doing so. To that end, Mr. Smith needs guidance from the Department of Justice regarding federal grand jury secrecy requirements and authorization on the matters he may speak to regarding, among other things, Volume II of the Final Report of the Special Counsel, which is not publicly available. In addition, to provide full and accurate answers to your questions, Mr. Smith requires access to the Special Counsel files, which he no longer has the ability to access.
In summary and in conclusion, upon receipt of those assurances and guidance, Smith will see you mouthbreathers behind the gym after third period and he hopes y’all brought a change of underpants, ‘cause he’s gonna make you shit the ones you’re wearing.
Obviously any “assurances” from the Russian-style Trump Justice Department that they won’t retaliate are worthless, since the place is run by MAGA liars and demons, but we imagine Smith wants to get that in writing regardless. Also especially tell him exactly which evidence he’s not allowed to tell the American people out loud about his second volume, so far hidden from the American public like common Epstein Files, which is all his evidence of Donald Trump stealing state secrets and using them for God knows what nefarious treason purposes, then obstructing efforts by the US government to get them back.
Please advise Jack Smith on what part of that he should tell these Republican sons of bitches in Congress, Pam Bondi!
House Judiciary Committee ranking Democrat Jamie Raskin is encouraging Jim Jordan to accept Smith’s very nice invitation and let him testify publicly, since Jordan has been asking for Smith to testify in secret, after telling all kinds of lies in public about Smith’s investigation. He noted that all these other dudes who have investigated Trump have testified publicly, like Robert Mueller and John Durham and Robert Hur.
“I can think of no reason to deny the American people the opportunity to hear his testimony, under oath and with questioning from Members of both parties, and to let all Americans judge for themselves the integrity of Mr. Smith’s investigations. There is no reason his appearance should be in the shadows of a backroom and subject to the usual tiresome partisan tactics of leak-and-distort,” said Raskin.
This also comes amid other Republican attempts to demonize and target Smith, like absolute dipshit Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee calling on Donald Trump’s ass-rimming DOJ to investigate Smith for “spying on Republican members of Congress,” sure you betcha that’s right, Marsha. She would of course like him disbarred. We’re sure he’s prepared to answer whatever questions these hallucinating Republicans have about things like that, provided he can even figure out what the fuck those idiots are talking about, every goddamned one of them sounds like pianos just fell on their heads and the paramedic is trying to figure out how much brain damage there is.
It’s clear Smith is in the mood to share his feelings lately. He broke his silence last week with a public interview with Andrew Weissman, opining on all kinds of things, from the Supreme Court decision to make Donald Trump an infallible God, to Trump’s beauty queen/vengeance prosecutor Lindsey Halligan’s poorly conceived case against James Comey and more.
We’re sure his testimony in the House and Senate will be must-see TV. Meantime, here’s that Weissmann interview if you wanna.
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It's Pam. It's not going to stick.
Bondi has a stronger case against Jack Shit.