James Comer Gonna Delete All The Biden Judges (Including The Supreme Court One) Because F*ck It, No Reason
Comer Comer Comer Comer Comer chameleon.
It has been a while since we checked in on the doings of one James Richardson Comer Jr., the pudding-faced chair of the House Oversight Committee who spent much of the last few years chasing Hunter Biden’s wangadoodle all over creation before the search sputtered to an end without reaching any firm conclusions, leaving Republicans feeling unsatisfied and sticky. Tarnation, shouted James Comer as Hunter’s hog slipped through his leathery fingers.
Dry those tears, Comer wasn’t down for long. Shamelessness is his superpower. His big cause now is uncovering the scandal of Joe Biden and his autopen, which he has described as bigger than Watergate. We thought that title was already claimed by another scandal the right has been screaming about, which is Barack Obama personally framing Donald Trump for treason. Though any scandal can be worse than Watergate if you wish strongly enough.
Y’all remember the autopen, right? That device every administration uses to sign the president’s John Hancock to some of the thousands and thousands of cards and letters and missives and pardons and screeds that go out with his name on them every year. This saves all presidents time and means the current one won’t get grease from a Big Mac on any important proclamations.
Just imagine you are one of the 1,500 January 6 criminals Trump pardoned, many if not all of whom we would bet cash money were pardoned via autopen. You have suffered. You have been persecuted by your government in your mind. You’ve bought into all the martyrdom thrust on you by the brain geniuses of MAGA. You have waited years for this. Here comes the signed presidential pardon that you are going to frame and hang in your man cave, right next to the picture of you at a Navy SEAL fantasy camp. (You washed out in seven minutes.) You open the envelope, and there is a greasy thumbprint right smack in the middle of the document. Though who knows, maybe you find that makes it more authentic. Maybe you love the Trumpian lack of pretension and dignity.
Use of an autopen is an uncontroversial practice, or was, until Republicans realized they could tie it to Joe Biden’s cognitive decline and claim his advisors had used it to sign his name to all sorts of bills and other paperwork without his knowledge. Voila! Le scandal!
PREVIOUSLY IN ‘FUCKING AUTOPEN.’
Comer has been holding hearings to investigate the alleged conspiracy. He has been sending subpoenas to former Biden aides, who have mostly shown up just long enough to assert their Fifth Amendment rights against self-incrimination. This of course must mean they have something to hide, not that they are simply trying to give the Right as little ammo as possible that can be twisted and lied about in Fox News interviews.
Personally, we think the Democrats should have fought the subpoenas the way Trump officials fought them the last few years. Let Comer sputter with impotent rage, shouting Well don’t that beat all until his cheeks explode.
Since he’s getting nothing out of the Democratic witnesses, Comer has had to up his game. This past Sunday on Fox, he pushed the thought all of Biden’s judicial appointments could be found void if he signed any of them with the autopen. Then all those judges get removed from the bench, giving Trump a couple of hundred more slots to fill with unqualified Federalist Society hacks.
The judges to be removed would include Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, a possibility that probably has Clarence Thomas tenting his fingers and saying “Excellent” like a slightly younger Mr. Burns.
“Look, this is the biggest scandal in the history of American politics.”
Bigger than the 2020 election being RIGGED AND STOLLEN? Bigger than President Obama and his people lying about intelligence in order to frame the Great and Wise God-King Trump, which as mentioned earlier, we could have sworn was also the biggest scandal in the history of American politics this weekend? Maybe Comer and Tulsi Gabbard should try and coordinate their messaging.
Another funny moment in that interview was when one of the Fox hosts used the mention of KBJ to slam her as “long-winded” and replay that clip from her confirmation hearing when some dumbass asked her to define what a woman is, which has nothing to do with anything. We get it, powerful and smart Black women underscore your own mediocrity.
“I think all of these [judicial nominations] are in jeopardy of being declared null and void.”
Trump first started venting about the autopen back in March, when he determined that all pardons signed by Biden were “VOID, VACANT, AND OF NO FURTHER FORCE OR EFFECT” because they had been signed with an autopen. And like the good lickspittle he is, Comer hopped into action.
Ah well, if Comer wants to waste an entire Congress chasing this alleged conspiracy, it’s probably a better use of his time than literally anything else.
[YouTube]
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OT, but speaking of idiots...
𝐵𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡: "𝑁𝑒𝑤𝑠𝑝𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑊𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑆𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐽𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑎 ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ-𝑓𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑥𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑒𝑟ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑂𝑏𝑎𝑚𝑎, 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑝ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑠 𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑇𝑟𝑢𝑚𝑝."
No more laughing; they'll do whatever they want and call it legal.