13 Comments
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chascates's avatar

If he was really sorry he would have mentioned Jesus somewhere in there.

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ViveLaProtestPayments's avatar

I guess nearly bringing down the global economy once isn't enough.

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bobbert's avatar

And, because of bankers, we have no money. It's a fucking miracle.

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Olav_Pompatus's avatar

Is Jamie suggesting that regulators are actually doing their jobs? Or simply that this kabuki theater is too time-consuming?

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PubOption's avatar

Rigging the market and still losing money in it, requires extreme incompetence. How did Dimon keep his job?

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schmannity's avatar

So much aggravation for only $20 million per year.

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AngryBlakGuy's avatar

...remember that idiotic statement: "Corporations are people my friends"? Well if that is the case then they should be held to the exact same legal standards!

If I as parent have 16yr old that goes out and commits grand theft auto and in the process wraps a 40 thousand dollar BMW around a telephone pole, guess who would be responsible for restitution? <strong>ME, THE GUARDIAN/PARENT!!!!</strong> So this bullshit argument that banks aren't responsible for the action of "rogue" employees doesn't hold an ounce of water!

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Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

something something Jamie Dimon/Juvenile Delinquent/Just Desserts something something <rimshot>

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Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

Mo' (ill-gotten) money, mo' problems.

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MonkeyMotion's avatar

Dear Mittens,

I have the <i>perfect</i> VP for your 2016 run! Call me.

Sincerely, MM

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Fartknocker's avatar

Citibank could move to St. Kitts. I'm not sure how the island is set up for internet service, electrical power, chilled water plants for cooling the servers but you wouldn't be burdened with pesky US regulators. And you do all your business with Go To Meeting.

You're a real fuck up to earn a $14 billion fine. Glad your shareholders like your performance.

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Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

♬ Whoa, whoa whoa ♫ Jamie's cryin' ♫ ♮☹

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Blamethrower is Antifa's avatar

Yes, but it would be a good start for 'em too...

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