You just know somewhere furniture industry focus groups are hard at work on targeted marketing of full-feature humpables for the MAGA incel consumer segments. Self-cleaning, no glove needed.
I said to my wife the other day I was going to have a quick nap on the couch, and she started crying and saying I didn't love her anymore. Did I do something wrong???
I was wondering that too. Isn't an inside-out latex glove the same as a not-inside-out latex glove? Or was it one of those heavy-duty latex gloves with lining on the inside? In which case, I guess the ultimate takeaway is that he was such a frugal boy, he fucked a glove in such a way as to be able to rinse it off and reuse it without wasting a condom.
if we can keep it going maybe the conservatives will try to "own the libs" by fucking their own couches.
kinda like how they started wearing diapers or the recent maxipads on their ears. they are just so adept at owning libs that i really hope they can incorporate couch fucking into their repertoire. i'd be so so so so owned. they'd really show me what's what. everyone would think they are super super clever and funny and definitely not massive weirdos.
There is absolutely no evidence that he fucked a couch, or at least admitted to fucking a couch, but it all comes down to his reaction to the fake news about it as to whether it has any staying power. The more he denies it, the more it Streisands. So his best bet would be to shrug and say, "Never believe everything you read on the Internet."
You just know somewhere furniture industry focus groups are hard at work on targeted marketing of full-feature humpables for the MAGA incel consumer segments. Self-cleaning, no glove needed.
.
"At the Bluebird Hotel, l've grown kinda fonda-
va hole in the couch that l call 'Wanda' "
-- Deacon Lunchbox, Atl
.
I said to my wife the other day I was going to have a quick nap on the couch, and she started crying and saying I didn't love her anymore. Did I do something wrong???
Sounds like a plagiarism of Portnoy’s Complaint to me.
Did you get off?
No, but I found this change in the cushions.
Couch money belongs to the couch!
Ta, Evan. Why turn the latex glove inside out?
He gets to use it five more times?
something about the powder in a latex glove being involved in the allergic reaction
A) it was second hand (yuck, I know)
B) he wanted a new partner
C) ...
I'm delighted you've mentioned Ted Cruz in an article about wanking.
https://www.mic.com/articles/140735/in-one-tweet-ted-cruz-s-old-roommate-hilariously-called-out-cruz-s-stance-on-masturbation
Triklinophilia -- sexual attraction to couches.
Let's all congratulate JD Vance for what will surely be an invaluable contribution to the DSM Manual.
Btw, it's amazing how that meme makes couch cushions look vaguely obscene. I'll never look at a couch the same way again.
I', thinking about tying rid of ours. The hussy!
I get through the whole article and am left with one burning question.
Why was it so important that the detail that he fucked the latex glove inside-out be included?
Is fucking latex gloves outside-in equated with LGBTQ+ issues in the Republican Party?
I was wondering that too. Isn't an inside-out latex glove the same as a not-inside-out latex glove? Or was it one of those heavy-duty latex gloves with lining on the inside? In which case, I guess the ultimate takeaway is that he was such a frugal boy, he fucked a glove in such a way as to be able to rinse it off and reuse it without wasting a condom.
Zappa has a song for every occasion.
"Don't get no jizz upon the sofa, sofa"
https://youtu.be/vlj6bH4xNeo?si=eM-z8pAZm_mPL64Z
*Allegedly*
if we can keep it going maybe the conservatives will try to "own the libs" by fucking their own couches.
kinda like how they started wearing diapers or the recent maxipads on their ears. they are just so adept at owning libs that i really hope they can incorporate couch fucking into their repertoire. i'd be so so so so owned. they'd really show me what's what. everyone would think they are super super clever and funny and definitely not massive weirdos.
Think through this. If they do this, they will have to record it to show the world that they did it.
You just saw the Republican National Convention. Do you want to see those people naked fucking their couches?
Eeeeeew!
The only reason this meme took off is that no-one has actually read _Hillbilly Elegy_.
We have standards at this little mommyblog.
and anyone that watched the movie i bet wishes they didn't. a 38 on Metacritic is bad.
https://www.metacritic.com/movie/hillbilly-elegy/
Now we know where "Big Mouth" got Jay's inspiration.....
I heard their next campaign rally will be in Davenport, IA
At the Sofa King!
Pinkie Pie ba dum tss dot gif.
There is absolutely no evidence that he fucked a couch, or at least admitted to fucking a couch, but it all comes down to his reaction to the fake news about it as to whether it has any staying power. The more he denies it, the more it Streisands. So his best bet would be to shrug and say, "Never believe everything you read on the Internet."
So of course he's not going to do that.