JD Vance Says ICE Murderer Just Really Scared Of Cars Right Now, OK?

Fuck you, JD Vance.

Gaaaaah he is just so stupid-looking.

Jonathan Ross. That’s the fucking ICE murderer’s name.

The one we saw in explicit detail kill 37-year-old Renee Nicole Good in Minneapolis, without cause, and we know it was without cause because we have so many videos from so many angles that allow us to examine it from every, well, angle. If you haven’t looked at the New York Times’s excellent examination of the videos yet, do so if you can stomach it, or just bookmark the link so you can send it to liars, morons and Nazis who claim otherwise.

The Minneapolis Star Tribune named the son of a bitch yesterday. (Archive link.)

DHS SpokesNaziBarbie Tricia McLaughlin bellyaches unconvincingly that the Star Tribune did a “reckless behavior” and a “should be absolutely ashamed of themselves” by publishing his name.

ICE Nazis who do crimes should be able to do them in peace, we guess DHS SpokesNaziBarbie is saying. (She’s gonna shit her Sunday School dress when this is all over and the indictments for the American Nuremberg Trials start dropping on day one.)

McLaughlin also said JONATHAN ROSS (his name) “acted according to his training,” which sounds weird to us since it makes no sense to murder the driver of a vehicle that’s moving away from you, even if you are a jumpy little bitch, but hey, ICE has been a sicko organization since Day One, so maybe they taught him that.

The biggest revelation in the article, besides his name, is that Ross just six months ago had a run-in with a car while on the job, one that left him with 33 stitches.

You see, JONATHAN ROSS (name of ICE guy) was helping arrest a Mexican citizen named Roberto Carlos Munoz-Guatemala on June 7 in Bloomington, a suburb just south of Minneapolis. Munoz-Guatemala is, unlike most of the people ICE goes after, an actual convicted criminal. We’ll let the Star Tribune take over from there:

Munoz-Guatemala had previously been convicted of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct and had been put on a detainer by immigration officials. Munoz-Guatemala ignored the agents’ commands, including to fully roll down his car window, so Ross broke open his rear window and reached inside to unlock the door.

Munoz-Guatemala put the vehicle in drive and accelerated onto the curb, the charges said. Ross was dragged alongside the vehicle and twice fired his Taser as Munoz-Guatemala wove back and forth “in an apparent attempt to shake” him from the car. About 300 feet down the road, Munoz-Guatemala re-entered the street and the force knocked the officer from the car.

Dude seems to have a thing for sticking his hands inside cars.

So anyway, he ended up with 33 stitches. He did not die. (Renee Nicole Good did, when JONATHAN ROSS murdered her for no reason.)

Yesterday, Vice President JD Vance took his horrendously ugly face over to the White House to tell as many vicious lies about Renee Nicole Good’s murder as he could. He did this because the Trump regime has clearly lost control of the conversation and is having a hard time spinning a good reason for why an ICE Nazi murdered a 37-year-old white mommy American citizen whose kids’ stuffed animals were seen afterward overflowing out of her glove compartment, next to the deployed airbag, covered in their mother’s blood. It’s just not going over well with people who aren’t pathetic fascist bootlickers or sick Nazi freaks.

JD Vance was a good person for this because, as he explained out loud during the campaign, he is more than happy to make up lies in service of his white supremacist fascist agenda.

So he bitched and whined and lied about poor JONATHAN ROSS, who should be forgiven for this murder because here’s why:

“That very ICE officer nearly had his life ended … six months ago,” Vance said, referring to the earlier car-dragging incident.

“You think maybe he’s a little bit sensitive about somebody ramming him?”

Yeah, get fucked by a metal sofa bed, VP Couchfuck.

Vance lied and said Good rammed her killer with her car, because that’s how much contempt these human fistulas have for the American people, that they will lie to you about videos we’ve all already watched 12 times. That’s why that Orwell “final command” quote is going around everywhere.

Question: Are we supposed to have sympathy and forgive Mister Trigger Fingers for doing a murder, because he still has PTSD from a thingie with a car where his arm got hurted?

Is that working on you? No? Do you even care about his pain and suffering? Still nah?

Here’s the thing: Aside from the fact that bitch was at work, this situation was nothing like the thing six months ago. Ross was not being dragged. Again, he was not being rammed. He was not in the process of trying to arrest somebody he was supposed to apprehend. Good’s Honda Pilot did not touch him, and he wasn’t even in front of it when he took his first shot. Indeed, he was off to the side enough that he could have seen that her tires were turned to the right, away from him.

So, far from us abandoning our moral outrage that an ICE murderer murdered an innocent woman in cold blood, we are instead lightly suggesting that if that triggered dude has PTSD, maybe he’s not qualified to have a job that requires him to be on streets where there might be a car or a person or a person in a car?

No really. If bitch is so afraid every time he sees a car, if he just has too much PTSD that he can’t handle “car,” maybe he doesn’t currently have what it takes to be an active duty ICE Nazi.

Yes, we know, the only actual qualifications to be a Trump Regime ICE Nazi are masculine insecurity, vicious racism, Little Man Syndrome and/or unresolved anger issues — must have two out of four! — but still, fuuuuuuuck off.

Anyway, everything JD Vance said in his little White House whackoff session was a lie. Brutally fucking the chicken of his fiction about Good “ramming” JONATHAN ROSS, he claimed she was a “victim of left-wing ideology” that brainwashed her into “ramming” JONATHAN ROSS with her car, which she did not do, he was just lying.

He said “nobody debates” that she “aimed her car at a law enforcement officer and pressed on the accelerator,” which is technically true we guess, because literally nobody who isn’t a lying fucking Nazi is taking that side of “debate”? (Technicality!)

He yelled at the media for being so brazenly committed to journalism that they transcribe the regime’s lies about Good “ramming” JONATHAN ROSS with her car. (Because she didn’t.)

One of his stupidest and most brazen lies was that JONATHAN ROSS has “absolute immunity” for any murders he does in the course of his very important job as ICE Nazi. If you’d like an explanation of why Vance is full of shit that’s more detailed than “LOL fuck you, JD Vance,” Penn Law professor Tobias Barrington Wolff wrote a whole post on Facebook about how Vance is “talking out of his ass,” and, worse, absolutely knows he’s talking out of his ass. (It is because JD Vance is a fascist and a liar.)

National Catholic Reporter digital editor John Grosso writes about Vance this week, noting that as a Catholic, “Vance knows that lying and killing are sins,” but says he “doesn’t care.” He continues:

Vance’s twisted and wrongheaded view of Christianity has been repudiated by two popes. His Catholicism seems to be little more than a political prop, a tool only for his career ambitions and desire for power.

The vice president’s comments justifying the death of Renee Good are a moral stain on the collective witness of our Catholic faith. His repeated attempts to blame Good for her own death are fundamentally incompatible with the Gospel. Our only recourse is to pray for his conversion of heart.

Or we can skip those prayers and if the motherfucker ends up in hell for all eternity, then EFF AAAAY EFFFF OH, like Pete Hegseth is always saying.

Don’t give a fuck.

[Minneapolis Star Tribune archive / National Catholic Reporter]

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