576 Comments
User's avatar
weejee's avatar

This coot luvs the bandicoots.

Michael's avatar

Dandy bandies!

Menotsure's avatar

They eat all kinds of bugs and grubs

And also roots and shoots

They are not really pig rats

They are cute bandicoots

They live in the "down under"

And under ground as well

There's no other way to say it, mate

But those bandicoots are swell.

Jjamie's avatar

Cheers mate! You did it again! You plus Martini made my day!

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

"Long nosed mouse" describes a large portion of the US Congress.

Ellie still in the mix in 26's avatar

Sooo coot....er....cute. Thanks!

NatalyaResists's avatar

YOU'RE a bandicoot!

Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

In the lost episode of "The Beverly Hillbillies," Elly May adopts a bandicoot. Hilarity ensues when Miss Jane mistakes the bandicoot for a mouse and screams the mansion down. She recovers when she sees Jethro and throws herself into his arms. Meanwhile, Granny plots to rid her home of the long nosed mouse.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

That show. Just the ability of someone to come up with the name "Jethro Bodine" made me want to be a writer.

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

And she then consults her recipe book.

BoB the TacoɔɒT, Tumbrel Pilot's avatar

Isn't long-nosed-mouse what she calls Mr Drysdale?

Old guy named Bill (OGNB)'s avatar

Perhaps at the end of the episode, the long nosed mouse gets into Granny's supply of "home medicine," further enraging her.

Martini Glambassador's avatar

It’s a bit confusing, because “bandicoot” could mean a species of rat (found in India) or the Aussie critter, but neither lives close to Beverly Hills.

Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

True, so there will have to be a backstory about how the bandicoot ended up in Beverly Hills. Like a kangaroo did, and Granny thought it was a giant jackrabbit. I don't remember the kangaroo's backstory, probably some plot by Mrs. Drysdale.

marydn's avatar

A friend of Mr Drysdale sent him the kangaroo as a gift and it escaped from his yard and into the Clampetts who lived next door.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Bandicutes, am I right?

SkeptiKC's avatar
3hEdited

A truly magnificent marsupial! I just LOVE their extendo=schnozes.

Australia evolved THE most intriguing, unique creatures.

Richard S's avatar

....that all want to kill you.

The Wanderer's avatar

Marsupial lions have entered the chat.

The Wanderer's avatar

A band of bandicoots!

Bruce's avatar

Surely the collective noun is 'a cute of bandicoots'

SunMoonStars's avatar

I'm cry laughing at this guy. I need all the laughs I can get no matter how spastic and fucking crazy all of this shit is.

Its just a matter of time before other countries attack us in every way imaginable. I fear the worst will be that fuck with out elections and keep Rs in place so they can rape and pillage at will across the globe.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/g9rdzR1PoD4

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

“We’re going to war to force Jesus to return.”

But, but Iran is run by doomsday religious fundamentalists!

SunMoonStars's avatar

Who is muslim. So I guess wiping them out in the name of jezus works for everyone.

Randy Bender's avatar

They have heavily armed masked thugs that terrorize, kidnap, and kill their own people... oh wait that's the US.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Probably the most honest explanation yet.

Baconzgood's avatar

For (the few of) us.

Baconz knows A Tribe Called Quest ages us Gen-Xers. But still.... remember when owning a tape deck wasn't "retro".*

I had oldz!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D-uV8TGjaGU&list=RDD-uV8TGjaGU&start_radio=1&pp=ygUgdHJpYmUgY2FsbGVkIHF1ZXN0IGNhbiBpIGtpY2sgaXSgBwE%3D

devourerofpancakes's avatar

JD hasn't had an independent thought since Peteer Thiel bought him a senate seat. Is anyone really going to believe this was JD's doing?

GiggleSnort's avatar

A NYT report says it was Bibi whispering in Trump's ear that helped convince him to go to war in Iran. Although they also say "J.D. Vance .. argued in a White House Situation Room meeting that if the United States was going to hit Iran, it should 'go big and go fast'"(https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/02/us/politics/trump-war-iran-israel.html?unlocked_article_code=1.QVA.9c_g.AO6OvHhl7_2j&smid=url-share). So either he was on the "pew-pew, big war" train, or this was just him sucking up hard to the boss again.

marydn's avatar

Sucking up hard to the boss is JD's middle name. That's why Theil bought him in the first place.

Stanta Knows's avatar

Coffee, then Armageddon it.

Baconzgood's avatar

Wow..

Baconz isnt a huge rap fan. But I can say beyond a doubt DJ Vance drops some poser rhymes.

Baconzgood's avatar

Its weird that I equate our VP to a character in "The Monster Squad".

I dont know why. And not one of the cool ones like "Fat Kid" or Frankenstein.

Anarchy Pony's avatar

Bachelor Chow, now with flavor!

Eureka's avatar

I always joked as a young single person that I would feed myself from the bag of “Bachelor Chow” like Futurama because I liked the simplicity. The future is now, I guess.

All of that whey protein is industrial waste made either into pet food or weightlifter supplements. It was a short jump to just feeding the gym bros the dog food.

Bruce's avatar

hamburger&rice isn't even kibble! It's what we fed our dear GSD who was like 25 pounds underweight when we adopted her, poor girl had been lost in the desert, and was skin and bones when she was rescued. Kibble didn't sit well with her, we needed something blander.

Joe Z's avatar

It's funny. You live in the universe, but you never do these things until someone comes to visit.

Baconzgood's avatar

Here is the Double Jepordy question today.

"The country Trump will bomb in the next 3 minutes to keep Epstine files out of the papers..."

Judges? I'm sorry Nova Scotia IS NOT a country.

rawrtigerlily's avatar

Just for no reason, remembering that in 2016 Vance had written a message to a friend about Trump being America’s Hitler.

And now here we are. He knew it was team Hitler and joined them anyways. He thought he could jump on the bandwagon to further his own ambitions and those of his creepy benefactors like Thiel.

Now they are going to scapegoat him just as hard as he tried to scapegoat the Haitians in Ohio.

What a spineless, morally empty, fucking moron.

satch's avatar

Back in the day, "bachelor kibble" for me was a ground beef baked bean chili with diced carrots, onions, and celery, sometimes peppers, and occasionally elbow pasta or noodles. I still make that when I'm on my own

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Too much actual cooking to be bachelor food.

rawrtigerlily's avatar

Not exactly “bachelor,” but when partner and I were poor college kids one our favorite slop meals was “smackeroni.”

You make a pot of kraft macaroni and cheese (per the box instructions) then add a drained can/packet of tuna, and a drained mini can of peas. Season generously with pepper and a splash of lemon juice if you have it.

Bupkus231's avatar

I just saw a report that says Trump is now "blaming" the two assassination attempts against him last year as the reason he decided to attack Iran - "I got him before he got me".

His descent into dementia has hit the "paranoia" stage.

And it appears that the WHCA dinner is not going to have a comedian speak - instead they're going with a "mentalist". Great - he can read Trump's mind ( if he has one ) and see just how twisted and fucked up he is. I'm betting that, by the time this is over, Trump would rather have had a comedian

42tontom's avatar

Paranoid maniacs have enemies too. In Trump's case, about 8 billion.