JD Vance's Fault! Tabs, Wed., June 17, 2026
These tabs are not JD Vance's fault.
Well good morning!
James Talarico smacked the shit out of Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, with his absolute moral superiority. It didn’t help that Patrick was wearing what looked like his wife’s sassy leather jacket at the time. Come by The Moral High Ground to read and subscribe to that! [The Moral High Ground]
The Memorandum of Understanding between the US and Iran is an absolute joke. Basically we’re paying Iran billions of dollars to reopen a strait that was open before Donald Trump touched it with his putrid rotting flesh, and Iran is stronger than ever. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s pretty clear Trump has decided the way he’s going to lose this war “gracefully” is that he’s going to blame the whole thing on JD Vance. [Bloomberg / Media Matters]
Donald Trump’s thugs and terrorists are trying to prosecute more ICE protesters in Minneapolis, based on the same statutes where the losers just tried and failed with the Broadview Six in Chicago. People are fucking pissed. [MPR News]
Here’s a thread about that:
Related:
And another good point:
And:
You will be shocked to learn that Kash Patel fucked up the announcement of the arrests of the people who allegedly were thinking about doing a terror to Donald Trump’s bouncy house birthday bash. [MS NOW]
Also by the way, does Kash Patel have a secret slush fund he uses to give the biggest FBI agent loyalist mouthbreathers bribes and payouts to commit crimes for him? Jamie Raskin is just curious. And is that why Kash prematurely ejaculated yet another arrest announcement? Wonkette is just curious. [MS NOW]
Mississippi cop shot and killed a one-year-old baby because they were upset about “shoplifting.” In other words, a Mississippi cop acted like a fucking Mississippi cop. [Mississippi Free Press]
Does this seem too correct and accurate?
The fake news is being a dick and suggesting that the fake Teddy Roosevelt quote on the giant banner hanging on the side of the Office of Personnel Management — what IS it with these fascist bitches and their fucking banners? — is fake. What part of “There is no try, there is only do” WASN’T said by Teddy Roosevelt, you dirty libs? Just kidding, that’s not the quote. But next these woke assholes will say Jesus didn’t write the Constitution in English with the preborn ghost of Charlie Kirk. [Washington Post]
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The Obama library is opening up this week in Chicago, and oh boy, you need to watch this clip of the Obamas:
God, the world misses them.
Now we have this dipshit at the G7 confused and bragging about his birthday party bouncy house wrestling match while the world leaders at the table look at him like he’s literally pooping in front of them, which come to think of it, he might be, in his big underpants.
International summits are hard.
Christ, he is just expired garbage.
More stories when we have them!
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It’s Brötchen, your hed gif hippo: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/little-bread-roll
And a meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/63c0fd3d-1768-47c2-a653-26b1f4d0671c?utm_source=share
A huge "thank you" to the Wonketariat. Thanks to your support, I've raised $1,000 for my trip to Tales of the Cocktail in New Orleans at the end of July. Expect to see 500 words a day on liquor, bartending, and the state of the industry on my Substack feed going forward. Y'all are awesome.