JD Vance’s Mommy Demands Hometown Pay Tribute To Her Little Angel
The alpha males are back again some more.
Like Pete Hegseth and Elon Musk, alpha male JD Vance has his mama out here fighting for him, and she’s demanding his hometown of Middletown, Ohio, honor him.
You know, the same hometown he trashed as a bunch of lazy, half-dead hillbillies, suitable for eulogizing, the epitome of the miseries of the Rust Belt, “a relic,” the town he falsely claimed had “produced zero Ivy League graduates” except himself, in the state he said was overrun by throngs of Haitians chowing down on housepets. But mom Beverly Aikins showed up to a city council meeting, demanding that they honor him anyway.
“I am just here because I am JD Vance’s mother and as you know he is our new vice president-elect and he thinks of Middletown as his home. I still live here and his sister still lives in Middletown. He’s got two nieces who live here and I just think it would be nice if we could acknowledge that this is his hometown and put up some signs,” Aikins said during citizens comments. “He graduated from Middletown High School, he comes back here frequently to visit me and take me to dinner, and I humbly request that.”
City councilman Paul Lolli was also incensed that the town wasn’t showing enough JD Vance pride. “To me, our communication department should have done this weeks ago. I would like to ask the communications department to get something out by the end of the week.” Maybe there should be a task force too, he suggested, to figure out how to honor JD some more!
Never mind that Vance hasn’t done anything yet, other than get elected. As a senator, he didn’t pass a single bill. When his hometown begged him to help them out, or at least come visit, or at least donate to the scholarship that he benefited from, he blew them off.
And where has Vance even been lately, anyway? He seems to have been dropped from the Mar-a-Lago crowd, while the president-elect has been joined at the hip with his new BFF Elon Musk, with weeks of sleepovers at Mar-a-Lago, three-way phone calls to their pal Vladimir Putin, and even a romantic trip to Paris, because evidently Musk has nothing else going on in his life but fantasizing about gutting the government of his adopted country. He didn’t even spend Thanksgiving with his kids, sad.
Meanwhile Vance has been scarce, though he visited North Carolina to let residents know that Hurricane Helene assistance is available, you know, now that the election’s over and the Democrats have put away their weather machine. And he took some time to praise-tweet his fellow mama’s boy Pete Hegseth, weirdo Alabama Senator Katie Britt, and extra-super weirdo Kash Patel, and post a very special Thanksgiving meme.
Not sure what to make of that one. Yep, not losing that “weird” moniker any time soon! But maybe his hometown will honor him anyway, with signs or a ticker-tape parade, for being the smartest guy who ever was.
Wherein we learned that the real welfare queens were the entitled do-nothing white men we met along the way.
They can name the newest batch of meth after JD.