Can Pete Hegseth's Mommy Save Him From The Big Mean Republican Senators?
And will Ron DeSantis replace him if/when his nomination goes bye bye?
A few things have happened since we last left Pete Hegseth sitting at the end of the bar and kind of nodded to the bartender like “Sorry, he was never our problem to begin with.”
Yesterday, we noted that Newsmax host Greg Kelly has turned on Hegseth’s nomination to be the secretary of Defense, and wondered if other worms were in the process of turning. (You know, like the dead worm in fellow batshit Trump nominee Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s brain, if that worm still had life and the ability to turn instead of being dead inside RFK’s body.)
We were skeptical, because right-wing morons like Wyoming Republican Senator Cynthia Lummis were giving Hegseth the old “Aw shucks! Boys’ll be boys, I reckon!” treatment. Specifically, she called him a “wild child.” We guess “wild child” is the traditional white conservative reaction to rape accusations.
But now listen to Lummis:
“These allegations that have come up just in the last 12 to 14 hours are a surprise to all of us, and so, yes, he does need to address those, because this was not something of which we were aware, nor was President Trump aware of them.”
Uh oh, Pete Hegseth, you in danger, girl.
Indeed, the worms seem to be turning quite rapidly on the Hegseth nomination, and it’s entirely possible that by the end of the week we’ll have an entirely new unqualified clownfuck of a nominee, like Ron DeSantis. (No really.)
You know, unless Pete’s mommy was able to fix it with her Fox News interview this morning, where she said she didn’t mean all those extremely detailed things she said about Pete being an “abuser of women” and whatnot.
Maybe she was just hangry that day.
NBC News had a one-two punch late in the afternoon yesterday. One followed on Jane Mayer’s reporting in The New Yorker about Hegseth’s long history of perpetual drunkassitude and mistreatment of women. Now 10 current and former Fox News people were whispering at NBC News saying oh yeah, we smelled alcohol on him before he went on the air, more than a dozen times and as recently as a month ago. Some sources felt like they had to “babysit” him. They had to call him to wake him up, due to his late-night drinking lifestyle. He would show up 20 minutes before air. Reminder: Hegseth worked on “Fox & Friends Weekend,” which goes on at 6:00 a.m.
NBC News notes that this brings up questions about Hegseth’s ability to be SecDef specifically, because it’s a round-the-clock job involving crisis-level decisions that come up at all hours around the globe.
“For the sake of national security, I really hope he has stopped drinking,” one of the former Fox employees said.
“He should not be secretary of defense,” another former Fox employee said. “His drinking should be disqualifying.”
The other NBC News bombshell said as many as six Republican senators, or perhaps at least six Republican senators, are having extreme qualms about supporting Hegseth’s nomination.
Remember when we said you in danger, girl, like five seconds ago? Well listen to Joni Ernst, who is on the Armed Services Committee:
[Ernst] would not commit to supporting Hegseth's nomination and said she planned to grill the former cable news host about news accounts of his alleged alcohol abuse, mistreatment of woman and financial mismanagement.
“We’re just going to have a really frank and thorough conversation,” Ernst said of Hegseth’s nomination process.
Does that sound Midwest Nice for “yr fucked” to y’all? Because it sounds like that to us.
Roger Wicker of Mississippi, also on the Armed Services Committee: “I think there are questions that some members have and we’re going to be looking for an answer,” said Wicker.
Even Lindsey Graham is starting to sound waffly, and that guy will walk uphill both ways in the snow to give Donald Trump his daily tongue-bath.
Lots more “ehhhhhhhhh” quotes from Republican senators here.
So If Not THAT Garbage White Man, Then …
Well, what about Ron DeSantis!
Think about it:
Ron DeSantis: Woke Police!
Pete Hegseth: Drunk Woke Police!
(Donald Trump thinks being the Woke Police is the most important thing for the military, because Donald Trump is a monumentally stupid pigfuck person.)
Ron DeSantis: All those unconfirmed rumors about him at least watching torture at Guantanamo and liking it when he was a JAG lawyer!
Pete Hegseth: Got Trump to pardon literal murderer war crimers! Was he drunk at the time? Who knows!
Our point is that literally any human Donald Trump picks for the role is going to be literal actual human garbage.
The Wall Street Journal broke the story late last night that Trump was in talks with DeSantis to replace Hegseth. Or maybe he might pick Joni Ernst. Some Trumpers have mentioned that other Tennessee moron senator idiot Bill Hagerty. Or maybe he might pick this other guy, Eldridge Colby, who JD Vance loves.
Will he pick DeSantis, even though half of Trumpworld hates him? Will he wrangle an Art of the Deal to get DeSantis to appoint Lara Trump, his daughter-in-law, to be Marco Rubio’s interim replacement in the Senate? (Marc Caputo at the Bulwark discusses how that is now part of this.) Who knows! The possibilities are endless, and endlessly stupid.
All the articles are saying some form of the same thing about how today and tomorrow are critical for Hegseth’s nomination. He’s on the Hill meeting with senators again.
Will he charm them by pulling a flask from behind their ears like a shiny quarter? We don’t know!
Will Mommy’s Fox News interview save him? Ha ha, it would be so fucking MAGA alpha male if it did.
Every one of these abusers with Little Man Syndrome is also some MAGA Mommy’s precious little boy, it seems! (By the way, if you can stomach the whining, Hegseth is just out with a Wall Street Journal op-ed.)
Whatever happens, the end of this story will be bad for America and for its military. That’s the only thing we can guarantee.
[NBC News / NBC 4 Los Angeles / Wall Street Journal / Politico Playbook]
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OT, but I see the Biden pardon completely differently from all the hot takes in MSM. Joe Biden REALLY believed in America, like, not faking. And I think he was OK letting Hunter face justice in a process he knew and trusted, expecting that he would be treated relatively fairly. I think the election outcome, and trump's early signals that he intends a reign of terror caused Biden to despair that there was no way Hunter would be treated fairly, and maybe something really foul would happen. That the America he knew was gone. He knew it would hurt his legacy, but I think he had no choice.
OT -
Judge scolds President Biden for trying to 'rewrite history' in Hunter Biden pardon
A federal judge in California ended Hunter Biden’s criminal tax case on Tuesday after criticizing President Joe Biden’s summation of the case − noting his son's admission that he continued to evade taxes "well after" becoming sober while spending on luxury clothes and escorts.
U.S. District Judge Mark Scarsi wrote the president has broad authority to grant clemency "but nowhere does the Constitution give the President the authority to rewrite history."
lol, fuck all the way off into the sun.
You’d think Biden just pardoned ISIS. My god.