Judge Boxwine Can't Believe Abortion Just Fell Out Of The Sky And Won The Midterms!

FOR WHATEVER REASON!

 Over there on Fox News, they're still trying to find the Guy Who Did This. So here to take a turn is co-host of "The Five" Judge Jeanine Pirro, who always has her finger on thelittle button on the box that you press to make the wine come outpulse. She has correctly identified that voters were really really really fuckin' pissed about abortion, and do not like it when Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito sticks his face inside America's entire underpants and starts taking away rights.

 Or has she ? Has she really identified that?

 Judge for yourself:  

““Abortion just kind of fell out of the Supreme Court for whatever reason and that was all the Democrats needed." Judge Jeanine is drunk again if she thinks abortion just “fell out” of the Supreme Court.”

— Davram (@Davram) 1668466544 

BOXWINE: Abortion! It was all about abortion! Joe Biden didn't do abortion! Abortion just kinda fell outta of the Supreme Court for whatever reason!

FOR WHATEVER REASON!

The Supreme Court was just going about its day back in May, probably helping puppies cross the street and scratching old ladies' bellies, and then abortion just FELL OUTTA THERE! It has nothing to do with the 50-year white conservative fascist project to use the courts to destroy Americans' bodily autonomy and ban abortion.

Going to a longer clip isn't much help, but it's entertaining, so sure why not:

“Judge Jeanine Pirro: "It was all about abortion! Joe Biden didn’t do abortion! Abortion just fell out of the Supreme Court for whatever reason. It was in May or June of this year, and that was it. That’s all the Democrats needed!"”

— Justin Baragona (@Justin Baragona) 1668464287 

Jesse Watters angrily asserted that America "did not vote for a more progressive Democrat party." And that's when Pirro started explaining that those dastardly Democrats are "taking this as a mandate," as if they had just kept the Senate against all historical odds, as if they hadn't completely neutralized whatever "red wave" the regular pundits insisted must come in the first term of a Democratic president.

This is crazy, Pirro says, because of the inflation and the economy and the Afghanistan and the Joe Biden is unpopular.

"AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WON THE ELECTION FOR THE DEMOCRATS!"

She's gonna tell you.

"Sure, the young people came out and voted!" Some slight slurring detected.

"They got paid! They got the student loans paid back! It was a buyout! That's what happened with them!"

Apparently the student loan debt relief only affects voters who are currently very young. Fox News hosts always are very good at understanding the issues.

And then there was ABORTION ABORTION ABORTION! It FELL OUT OF THE SUPREME COURT!

She said it happened "in May or June of this year," the abortion falling out of the tree.

And she's right, because we found this article (we found it at Wonkette) about Judge Boxwine from May 4 of this year, just after Alito's draft opinion leaked, where Pirro angrily said she had data right in front of her that said there were 63 MILLION ABORTIONS PER YEAR IN AMERICA and THAT'S TOO MANY.

"Those are the stats I heard!" she said.

"That's a little too much!" she explained.

"Abortion just kinda fell outta the Supreme Court for whatever reason!"

A lot of your fellow Americans watched this happen on Fox yesterday afternoon and if you had asked them right then and there they would have told you they were watching The News.

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