Once upon a time, Jeb Bush thought a real good way to crack down on the scourge of unwed mothers was to good old-fashioned slut-shame them, for inseminating themselves without the requisite ceremony and chicken dance first. If only it were still socially acceptable to stone women in the town square or burn them at the stake, or at least make them wear "frilly pink jumpsuits" while picking up his garbage. But calm down, liberal media, you just calm the H-E-double-hockey-sticks down RIGHT NOW, because
That's because Bristol is a white republican and thanks to her and her mother's hard work at grifting, very wealthy. As a rich, white republican Christian, Bristol is to be commended for her pro-life decision as well as for her dedication to becoming re-hymenated after not marrying her first fiance. Just like with Josh and his kiddie "improper touching", she has the rich white republican Christian get out of being a dirty sinner free card.
"Gove— Errr, Governor? That one, umm, that's not, not, that's umm. G-g-governor? That's a goat. I know it's hard to tell it from the donors by sight or smell or touch, but the donors mostly bleat in English."
Prezactly. Whether your sexytime is responsible or irresponsible, it's still icky sexytime and is a sin. Unless you're fingering your sister, of course.
Didn't someone tell the conservatives that I no longer feel any need to scream "Fuck Bush!" at the top of my lungs? So, this "campaign" is totally unnecessary.
Well, at least tax cuts for those making over a million, anyway.
And "least inspirational" also, too.
That's because Bristol is a white republican and thanks to her and her mother's hard work at grifting, very wealthy. As a rich, white republican Christian, Bristol is to be commended for her pro-life decision as well as for her dedication to becoming re-hymenated after not marrying her first fiance. Just like with Josh and his kiddie "improper touching", she has the rich white republican Christian get out of being a dirty sinner free card.
I think she's had a couple of more "fiances" since that first one!
Nimrod?
Wait, no, that's wrong. Johnellis?
Oh, right, same guy. Ne'mind.
At this point, I think she's not married half of Alaska.
"Gove— Errr, Governor? That one, umm, that's not, not, that's umm. G-g-governor? That's a goat. I know it's hard to tell it from the donors by sight or smell or touch, but the donors mostly bleat in English."
I so wish he'd go to Athens and give a public speech. They'd love him!
(there's a lot of hunger in that country, and there's a lot of him to go around)
The native half, obviously
Prezactly. Whether your sexytime is responsible or irresponsible, it's still icky sexytime and is a sin. Unless you're fingering your sister, of course.
Didn't someone tell the conservatives that I no longer feel any need to scream "Fuck Bush!" at the top of my lungs? So, this "campaign" is totally unnecessary.
The new theory is that putting the aspirin into the business end of the penis will work better to prevent contraception.
Jeb Bush is like Mitt Romney on steroids, except Jebbie doesn't look nearly as good with his shirt off. Or so I've heard.
So that's a family value, right?
They're practically acephalic already. Intermarry these royal lines and they'll have a quiverfull of bleeders, for sure.
I think you win "most painful use for a pain reliever."