</center>Tuesday night was the debut of the new "David Letterman Show, Starring Stephen Colbert!" and for a night of such fanfare, you've got to call Jeb! Bush, because he's the only candidate with an exclamation point after his name. There was much to laugh about, like when Colbert told Jeb, "You are, with one exception ... the frontrunner for the Republican nomination." LOL, that might not even be true anymore, because there is <a href="http: //www.cnn.com/2015/08/31/politics/poll-donald-trump-ben-carson-tied-iowa-monmouth/" target="_blank">Carson-mentum happening</a> in Iowa, which excites us, in a very narcoleptic ZZZZZ way. <p>Of course, aside from the exclamation point, Jeb also has a reputation for being very ZZZZZ, something actual Republican frontrunner Donald Trump <a href="https://instagram.com/p/7YV_u_mhWB/" target="_blank">capitalized on in his new ad</a> titled "When I am having a hard time sleeping and masturbating to mental images of my YOOOOOGE skyscrapers doesn't work, I like to listen to Jeb talk." (We think that's the name of the ad.) </p><hr/><p>But Colbert wanted to know about this: </p><p><a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17678233/origin.png"><img id="01da7" data-rm-shortcode-id="92c5f3546bf3a9e444bc3f28f7bcb94c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3ODIzMy9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTcyODM2Mzg5OH0.agOaxZK1jMKo1DpX2VVuHaR4HrJVrTflzz8bSlVIbtE/img.png?width=980" /></a> </p><p>So Jeb! explained: </p><p/><blockquote>COLBERT: Your campaign poster is just JEB!, with a J-E-B-exclamation mark. Why the JEB!? <p>JEB!: Because I've been using JEB! since 1994. It connotes excitement.</p></blockquote> <p>OHHHHH! Now we get it! It's important to note that when Colbert says it, he shouts it and goes like this: </p><p><a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17678234/origin.png"><img id="f8c5e" data-rm-shortcode-id="1564ea8b9bae0b7f7376fe2b7191dfc8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3ODIzNC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTc0NjgyNzI1M30.3zoIHn2OP-0-FDcdMgPxnFQJQjOwpVCzqMDXIAZ2P40/img.png?width=980" /></a> </p><p>In response, Jeb attempts to mimic the same excitement obviously invoked by his name, but it doesn't really come off as good. Anyway, this must mean Jeb! is a really exciting guy. It's probably <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/jeb-bush-one-ups-marco-rubio-by-becoming-hispanic-voter" target="_blank">his Hispanic heritage,</a> he's always down for a fiesta or something. </p><p/><blockquote>COLBERT: How many of us, when we got excited about things, didn't just go JEB!? <p>JEB!: In Florida they do, when they see me, most of them, either out of happiness or deep anger.</p></blockquote> <p>[contextly_sidebar id="4OjLZAhs8LURF4v5iBJmE6kMjDr3YGWC"] </p><p>So it can either be like JEB YAY! or it can also be JEB GRRR! At least in Florida. </p><p>Or when Jeb's mom says it, it's probably like JEB NO! YOU LIVE OUTSIDE NOW, REMEMBER? </p><p>Speaking of Jeb's mom, Colbert also decided to ask about how Barbara Bush hates her son, which is <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/donald-trump-to-jeb-bush-your-mom" target="_blank">well-documented in a Donald Trump ad</a> called "Jeb Bush's mommy probably wishes he was adopted so she could give him back" (or something like that): </p><p/><blockquote>COLBERT: Your mom said maybe we shouldn't have another Bush or another Clinton. <p>JEB!: Oh she was just joking.</p></blockquote> <p>(Riiiiiiiiiight.) </p><p/><blockquote>COLBERT: Did you call her up and say "Mom, you're embarrassing me?" <p>JEB!: I saw it on NBC, The Today Show, she was actually, without telling me she did this... </p><p>COLBERT: I BET she didn't tell you. </p><p>JEB!: It was a little embarrassing.</p></blockquote> <p>AND SCENE. </p><p>[contextly_sidebar id="D1JGqKPyd3uF6prYUbLgurfqHDaI7p0E"] </p><p>We have a <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/the-seven-best-times-jeb-bush-embarrassed-his-mother-this-week" target="_blank">Wonkette theory</a> that Barbara Bush pretty much hates JEB!, and that out of all the things she's said to him over the course of his life, the one that sticks with him the most is <del>"I love you"</del> "I like you even less than I like Neil, I hope you know that." And, science fact, most Wonkette theories turn out to be true, so you should just assume that's how it goes down in Kennebunkport most of the time. </p><p>[contextly_sidebar id="0qRvNUAiKnrkhlEiWa1Hyv0lekEqGK7H"] </p><p>At the end of the interview, Colbert asked Jeb! the question he's getting from everywhere: Your brother really sucks, how could you possibly be any better? The reply was one of those trademarked Jeb Bush Zingers: "I'm obviously younger. Much better looking." </p><p>DUBYA LIBEL!!!!!111! </p><p>Because his brother looks like this: </p><p><a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17678235/origin.jpg"><img id="1fb3b" data-rm-shortcode-id="7e51da9cc91726d4631f184e6598c782" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3ODIzNS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY4ODk0OTk4N30.L_jZWjvhWOU0nK_eC447cf34MKZakAwcSqEcE6Hoql4/img.jpg?width=980" /></a> </p><p>Wait, wrong picture. His brother looks like this: </p><p><a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17673144/origin.jpg"><img id="eff87" data-rm-shortcode-id="11197e69cc84d0e11a2bfb816cb9a5f1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3MzE0NC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTc0MjE2MDYyNX0.4XrPkjz5OuqDQUTlUSeIKQTyKpQPL78N9mNvm3Fg8cE/img.jpg?width=980" /></a> </p><p>And Jeb! looks like this: </p><p><a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17678232/origin.jpg"><img id="be292" data-rm-shortcode-id="05a9398ff74faba960cedd59f47584e2" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3ODIzMi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY4ODAyNDk0MH0.azoidC6TPEwhW2cZLXPMkoyIV2eqakmu8_xuORSphY0/img.jpg?width=980" /></a> Might need changing, might just be gassy </p><p>Meh, fuck, it's a draw. </p><p>[<a href="http://www.rawstory.com/2015/09/it-connotes-excitement-jeb-bush-awkwardly-explains-campaign-logo-to-stephen-colbert/" target="_blank">RawStory</a>]</p>
I watched the whole show, including the "extra" footage, and other than Stephen describing the two raffles (his raised $183,000, he didn't say what JEB!'s raised) and the winner of his raffle's question being read and answered, I saw nothing about the winner of JEB!'s raffle. There was a cut in the "extra" footage after the answer to Stephen's winner's question. I'm assuming that's where the discussion of JEB!'s no-show took place. Am I wrong? Did I miss something? I admit, I didn't watch the "extra" footage to the very end because my brain was reacting as if JEB! was a powerful sedative, and it was too early to justify a nap.
OT but I never noticed that W painted the fucking mildew in the grout in the shower portrait. That's some realism right there. What is that thing in the upper left corner, a security camera?
Whoa...Lauren Lauren.
More like Fearless Fosdick villains..
Take that Vote! And that!...
John Ellis Bush should just slither away and get back to banging his mistress Cynthia Henderson.
He’s always down for a siesta or something.That's how I read it.
Seems that his one and only talent is that he's a cheap bastard and hates spending money. Especially on schoolz and poorz.
..he’s always down for a fiestasiesta or something.FIFY
oops. Should have read further down before posting. My JEB!
gotta wonder if when brother #3 runs he'll go with "Ne!L"
As it turns out, JEB! turned Stephen's first show into a big bowl of vanilla pudding that never got thick enough to set.
I watched the whole show, including the "extra" footage, and other than Stephen describing the two raffles (his raised $183,000, he didn't say what JEB!'s raised) and the winner of his raffle's question being read and answered, I saw nothing about the winner of JEB!'s raffle. There was a cut in the "extra" footage after the answer to Stephen's winner's question. I'm assuming that's where the discussion of JEB!'s no-show took place. Am I wrong? Did I miss something? I admit, I didn't watch the "extra" footage to the very end because my brain was reacting as if JEB! was a powerful sedative, and it was too early to justify a nap.
I plan on willing my hatred of the Bushes to my decendants.
OT but I never noticed that W painted the fucking mildew in the grout in the shower portrait. That's some realism right there. What is that thing in the upper left corner, a security camera?
Oh dear. Now I'm going to have to refer to him as Jebya! Every time. Forever.
Thanks, Greg. (Greg!?)
I slept through it.
What?
If you put the exclamation point in parentheses (like Charlie Pierce does), it looks like he is mooning you.JEB (!)