Jeb Bush Invites All The Christian Refugees To Crash On His Couch

That's his "I answered that good, didn't I?" face.

That Jeb! Bush sure gave another real bad performance at the second Republican presidential debate, didn't he? YES, HE DID. Not only did he confess that he is a loser pothead stoner L-O-S-E-R loser , which is why he'll never amount to anything, but he also made a bad joke about how he is nuh- uh NOT low-energy because his dumb lame stupid Secret Service code name will be "Eveready," take that , Donald Trump. And that was so sad and weak and pathetic and so low-energy, we almost missed it on account of the coma into which he put us with his little words , zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Also, he tried to sack up like a REAL MAN and defend his wife's honor, demanding Trump apologize to Mrs. Jeb, for saying mean things like how she is a Mexican, and Trump said, "Nope," and Jeb said, "OK, never mind, sorry I asked." That was fucking pathetic. If we were Columba, we'd divorce Jeb's weak ass, like, yesterday , and take all of his money to go buy more SHOOOOOOOOZ! 

So Jeb went to Sean Hannity to talk about how he is not a loser (WRONG) and heisa real conservative, despite his Mexican wife and anchor-spawn, and Hannity tried to act like he wasn't totally bored out of the fetid pile of goop that is his brain and thinking about the next time Donald Trump comes on his show, mmmmmmmm so dreamy.

The first five or so minutes are like, "Blah blah words?" "Yeah, blah blah words." "Oh, but words?" "Yup, words." But THEN:

HANNITY: Our intelligence agencies tell us that there is zero doubt, in their minds, that they believe that Syrian Iraqi refugees will be infiltrated by ISIS and al Qaeda. The president's bringing at least 10,000 into this country. Bad idea?

BUSH: It's a bad idea if there's no screening. And I for one think that we should take every Christian Iraqi and every Christian Syrian who are in a situation right now that if they stay where they are, they'll be killed. That's the world that a Christian lives in the Middle East with Islamic terrorism.

Wait, so Jeb thinks we should only take in refugees if they've been properly screened, BUT he ALSO wants to take in "every" -- he said "every," he said it twice, even! -- Christian who might be in danger in the Middle East, from the ISIS terrorism. Do the Christians need to be screened also? Or do they just get a "It's cool, bro, Jesus fist bump" pass because of how no Christians would ever do terrorism, EVER, which is a true thing if we don't count those times that they did the terrorism. (Jeb also does not count the terrorism that happened when his brother "kept us safe" on 9/11. Basically, Jeb sucks at all the mathing.)

So, OK. Obama sucks because he wants to take in 10,000 refugees, without even quizzing them on their Bible verses, but we need to wave in all the Christian kind right the eff now because ...?

BUSH: We have a duty, I think, to help people. But the best way to solve this problem is to lead the world in creating a third way, which is to eliminate ISIS from the face of the earth, and to remove Assad so that there could be a stable Syria. It is a tragedy that 11 million people have been displaced in a country of 23 million. And 250,000 probably have died under the brutality of the Assad regime.

And that is all Jeb has to say about that. Obama bad. Refugees bad, at least the kind Obama is talking about. Christian refugees good. Also numbers. Also, we might not have 23 million refugees on the run from ISIS if Big Brother hadn't made that war in Iraq, maybe? Oh, Jeb didn't say that, we said that.

Final thoughts? Yes. Kim Davis is also invited to sleep on Jeb's couch with all the other persecuted Christians, because of how her job description changed from "give people marriage licenses" to "give people marriage licenses."

So, did this interview help Jeb prove his manhood and look like a candidate who has a shot at Republican nomination after all? LOL, are you fucking kidding us? Sorry not sorry, Jeb, you're still a loser.