16 Comments

This is awesomely close to my own family. My father's second marriage was even more gruesome, although my mother's second marriage was quite nice. My siblings are happily married (due largely to having married saints); I am happily single.

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Well, it was a very <i>short</i> marriage, followed immediately by suicide, so who are we to judge?

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There is an obvious explanation for Jennifer Rubin's skewed research numbers. When pollsters call unmarried people on the phone to ask if they are happy, unmarried people

a) Hang up on them b) Are out partying c) Have the voicemail on permanently

Married people, on the other hand, get up from the sofa, go into the other room, shut the door to muffle the TV, and answer at length.

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We'll need a really strong null hypothesis, though, something along the lines of "No Princeton graduates who regularly receive sammiches and great sex and good directions are happy, as measured by the Scientifical Blissometer."

Disproving the null is the first step in demonstrating causation.

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"Social engineering" is a hacker term for lying.

Coincidentally, when a reactionary conservative uses that term, he is doing the same thing.

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Yes, tell her no thanks, I've already got one.

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I just read the headline- how does that man manage to breathe on a regular basis? Fuck, he is dumb.

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I get the creepo-crayzoid vibes from reading this. I picture her cubicle covered with all these photos of brides with their faces cut out. It wouldn't phase me to hear that Jennifer Rubin was caught inside David Brooks' house, taking a bath in a bridal veil, Orange-is-the-New-Black-style.

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Married people are especially likely to say they are happy if their spouse is listening.

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Don't you think Gitmo's a little harsh?

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The main flaw in Ruben's "use the fact that marriage will make gay people happier" argument is that, of course, haters do not WANT gay people to be happier. Other than that, it's obviously such a great idea, there's no telling why the throat-crammers haven't already thought of it!

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Look, I'm a bit busy at the moment. Can I pencil in the matrimony for next week, or will some hired goons club, sack and drag me to the chapel?

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<i>the real argument for marriage is that it makes you happier — especially if you are a woman.</i>

Great point. For instance, take my wife . . . no really take her. <loosens necktie> I'll show myself out.

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♬ Goons to the chapel, and they made me get married ♪

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AY-OH!!

Also, too, divorce is so expensive because it's worth it!

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If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a (your choice of adjective goes here) woman your wife...

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