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Jerry Falwell Jr. Sues Craven Adulterous Hypocrites At Liberty University For Sullying His Father's Good Name
Yes, for real.
Jerry Falwell Jr. has a weird kink.
No, not that poolboy shit. We don’t give a rat’s ass about what consenting adults do in their own bedrooms. Be safe, don’t judge, have fun, kids!
Unless your kink is filing batcrap lawsuits and getting spanked in open court, in which case, SIMMER DOWN, WEIRDO! And yet Jerry will not simmer down, and has been locked in embarrassing litigation with the school his father founded since 2020, when he was forced to resign as president amid a series of scandals involving a former Florida poolboy, rumored alcoholism, and allegations of financial improprieties.
In 2020, Jerry sued Liberty for defamation and breach of contract, although that suit was almost immediately withdrawn. In April of 2021, Liberty sued Jerry for breach of contract and breach of fiduciary duty, alleging that he had negotiated a pay raise without disclosing that his marital issue were about to spill out into the open and cause a major headache for the school, prompting a $30 million counterclaim from Jerry seeking return of such personal items as three horses and one .38 revolver. (Worst country song ever!) And this year, Jerry sued Liberty University, university board member Jerry Prevo, and Jerry’s own brother Jonathan Falwell, the school’s current chancellor for expropriating the likeness and trademark of Jerry Falwell Sr, which is allegedly the property of the Dr. Jerry L. Falwell Family Trust.
Friends, behold this totally real sentence from page three of this complaint:
But when, in the run-up to Mr. Falwell’s resignation, news broke that his wife, several years earlier, had an extramarital affair, members of the Board of Trustees and its Executive Committee used it as an opportunity to elevate their own positions of power within Liberty, for their own gain, and treated the Falwells in abhorrent fashion, including by seeking to temporarily oust Mr. Falwell when his health was failing by exaggerating his alcohol use when, in reality, Mr. Falwell was suffering from a nearly-fatal genetic lung condition; and then seeking to force Mr. Falwell’s resignation when the news of his wife’s affair broke, despite the fact that Mr. Falwell himself did not have an affair, in contrast to several highranking University officials (including a former President, a former Dean, a former Provost, and a current Executive Committee member) who the Board of Trustees or Executive Committee believed had affairs or related misconduct but, consistent with Dr. Falwell’s belief in forgiveness, were embraced by Liberty.
It’s a journey! And a war crime against grammar, to boot.
But what does this have to do with trademark infringement, you are wondering? And the answer is WHO THE HELL CARES! These hypocrites are going to air their dirty laundry on the public docket, and you’re going to nitpick?
This thing is hilarious, and we intend to enjoy every second, TYVM.
Here’s Jerry explaining why his father wouldn’t want his name associated with the university he founded.
There are numerous good reasons for the JERRY FALWELL brand to not want to be perceived as having endorsed or sponsored Liberty, at least as it exists in its current incarnation, under the control of a small group of members of the so-called “Executive Committee” who have seized control of the University after Mr. Falwell’s resignation as President and Chancellor of the University in August 2020. For instance, as detailed herein, Mr. Falwell has learned that Liberty has made payments totaling over a million dollars in purported “donations” to organizations that are, upon information and belief, under the control of certain members of Liberty’s Board of Trustees and its Executive Committee, or their close associates.
These apparent self-dealing transactions have the appearance of kickbacks and are directly at odds with the JERRY FALWELL brand.
That is very funny, not least because Jerry himself is reported to have engineered the conveyance of an entire exercise facility from the school to his personal trainer — the same one who traveled with him on the university’s private jet to out of town doctor’s appointments. Jerry, who put his son Trey on the university payroll, is also very torqued about board members whose family members got jobs at the school.
When Jerry took over managing Liberty in the early 2000s, his father had racked up $100 million in debt. Jerry turned the operation into a financial juggernaut, thanks to online courses underwritten by federally-subsidized student loans. Nonetheless, Jerry complains that the current management betrays its founder’s commitment to “financial integrity in religious and educational institutions” and his vision of “a major Christian evangelical university with the bona fides of an institution like the University of Notre Dame,” not some crummy “church-affiliated faith-based college.”
Find Yourself A Man Who Looks At You The Way Jerry Falwell Jr. Looks At His Personal Trainer. ALLEGEDLY.
Also, “Dr. Falwell valued the importance of forgiveness in Christianity,” unlike those rat bastards on the board who throw a guy overboard just because his wife is evangelical bonezoning the poolboy. It’s a weird take for a guy who tried to sic the FBI on members of the board for conspiracy to hack into their own emails, but Jerry is nothing if not committed to the bit.
So committed that he’s suing his own brother in Virginia state court to have him removed as co-trustee of the family trust because of supposed self-dealing. And by self dealing, he means allowing their father’s likeness to be used by both Liberty and Thomas Road Baptist Church, the educational and religious institutions Jerry Sr. founded.
For their part, the board members at Liberty are also committed to the bit.
Liberty opened a “self-guided tour” on its campus. At each of nine different points along the walking tour, Liberty posted footprint engravings made from a pair of Dr. Falwell’s shoes. Liberty publicly announced the tour and emphasized the engravings of Dr. Falwell’s footprints in advertising and promotional materials.
Presumably the footsteps lead to the outhouse, for a commemorative slug of Campari.
The university is planning a new Jerry Falwell Center arena, plastered with giant portraits of its preaching patriarch.
But wait, there’s more! Did you ever wish you could talk to the great man himself? Well, soon Jesus and the donors are going to let you do just that, with a life size hologram which will be able to come out on stage and tell you who to vote for in every election cycle.
Hosanna! Truly the Lord works miracles. Maybe they can get his momma and Larry Flynt up there, too.
Your Wonkette is silly and feels very bad for mocking these good Christians. (We do not feel bad, we feel GREAT.) But if we might be permitted to make a point here … young Jerry comes by his litigious streak honestly. His own pappy famously sued Hustler and Larry Flynt for libel after the pornographer published a parody ad in which Falwell talked about losing his virginity to his mother in an outhouse while “drunk off our God fearing asses on Campari, ginger ale, and soda.”
That lawsuit mattered. For 35 years, it has stood for the principle that parody is protected by the First Amendment. You don’t get to sue people because they hurt your feelings by saying stuff you don’t like. And while the elder Falwell was a filthy, gay bashing POS, he really did practice “Christian forgiveness” and become friends with Flynt in later life. And now his son is embroiled in endless, idiotic litigation, humiliating his wife by constantly pointing out her infidelity, and for nothing. The fact that he’s claiming to do it to protect the family name is just icing on the cake.
And PS, the school says that the Falwell trust doesn’t even own the trademark anyway.
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