Jesse Watters Says Obama Too African To Understand Which Ocean Disasters Real Americans Care About

Playin' the oldies.

 The news came out yesterday that Fox News's evening lineup was getting shooked up all over the place. Laura Ingraham is being kicked out of primetime, Greg Gutfeld is being kicked into it, and oh yeah, Jesse Watters has been deemed the only guy disgusting and smarmy and racist enough to Goldilocks his nuts into Tucker Carlson's testicle-tanning pod and have it fit just right.

So he got Tucker's old timeslot.

It doesn't start until July 17, but by the sound of it, he's started training for what will be a grueling five-night-per-week schedule. Does this human equivalent of a dried cumsock have what it takesevery night ? Time will tell.

But yesterday he really went back to the basics, saying Barack Obama is simply too much of an African citizen of the world to understand what real Americans care about. Yes, that oldie but goodie pointy Klan hoodie! He was pissed off about comments Obama had made regarding the boat full of 700+ migrant people, which sank off the coast of Greece around the same time as the implosion of the Titan submersible. Obama simply noted at a conference in Greece the insane disparity between the coverage of the two events.

“There is a potential tragedy unfolding with the submarine that is getting, you know, minute-to-minute coverage all around the world. And it’s understandable because we all want and pray that those folks are rescued,” he said , hours before it was announced that those on board died instantly after the craft imploded. “But the fact that that’s gotten so much more attention than 700 people who sank—that’s an untenable situation.”

As the Daily Beast notes, Obama referred to the "obscene inequality of coverage" on Thursday in an interview with Christiane Amanpour.

And Jesse Watters was PISSED.

"Well when you're a citizen of the world, you always think of the world instead of the United States," said Watters. (Apparently the Titanic wreck site is American to Watters, there off the coast of Newfoundland.)

“Remember, this is a guy whose father has roots in Africa. This is a guy who spent a lot of his childhood in Southeast Asia…"

That was the point where Greg Gutfeld sneered, "HE ATE A DOG, JESSE!"

"And then spent a lot of time in Hawaii — was that the last state to get a star on the flag?"

Barack Obama — literally the epitome of the so-called American dream, and of course by every measure smarter, more attractive and more accomplished than Jesse Watters — is a foreign Black person from un-American places like "Africa" and "Hawaii." Is that what Watters is saying? It is so subtle, we are not sure.

“He’s never really looking at things from an American perspective,” Watters griped of the 44th president of the United States. “He’s always speaking to the world. Even when he’s speaking to us, he’s appealing to the world.”

Which we guess does not include America. How could Americans possibly be concerned about something happening in "world"?

Then Jesse Watters tried to explain how "journalism" works from an "American" perspective:

"So let me just tell you this is not the BBC. CNN, Fox covered the story the same way. And here's why, from a raw news editorial standpoint."

Jesse Watters is raw-dogging the news editorial standpoint, yes, go on.

"The Greek migrants that drowned, there was no Titanic angle! Number one, huge angle! Number two, we had guests that knew people that were submerged. Number three, there was suspense, because we had the countdown to the air shutting down. And this was off our coast! This is not Greece, this is the United States of America. If there had been a Cuban boat that had capsized, and there were Cubans who were drowning off the coast of Miami, that would have been wall-to-wall coverage.

“We don’t live in Europe, Barack Obama. This is the United States of America, and it shows how naive, detached, and how snobby he is to not understand that this is the United States. And as sad as it is — and it was a horrible story off the coast — this is not something that concerns most Americans in their spare time.”

Wow. So that was bizarrely vicious. (As particularly mediocre white racist dudes who didn't really earn their success are wont to be.)

First of all, the mediocre white dude is confused about the fishing boat in the Mediterranean. It was carrying Pakistani, Egyptian, Syrian, and Palestinian migrants. Not Greek migrants.

Secondly, Barack Obama didn't say the Titanic thing wasn't news , so take a pill. We get it. The Titanic thing was riveting.

Thirdly, "there was suspense!" Because we guess this is all an action movie to undeveloped brains like Jesse's.

Fourth, again, the Titanic wreck is off the coast of Newfoundland. Which is Canada. AKA Not the United States of America. Some news sources note that it's 900 miles east of Massachusetts, but we reckon that's because so many Americans are simply that fucking ignorant of place names in the country next to us that it's necessary to say that.

Fifth, we are sorry if Jesse Watters's worldview is so small that Europe is to him some exotic imaginary place, but really, it's just on the other side of the Atlantic. We do understand, from a raw news editorial standpoint , why a Fox News host would see it this way, considering how the average Fox News viewer probably considers visiting a new Buc-ee's to be a cultural experience.

Sixth, average Americans really don't have a reason to care about either event, one more than the other, without the news screaming at them telling them to care.

Seventh, Christ, what a raging piece of shit he is.

We do wonder how he's really going to do in Tucker's timeslot, though. As disgusting as Tucker was and is, we are pretty sure lots of his old-ass viewers thought of him as their sweet angelic goodest boy, the son they never had because their real son lives in New York City with his boyfriend and doesn't talk to them. Will they look at Jesse Watters that way? Does he have the charm to pull that off?

Skeptical, we are.

[ Daily Beast ]

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