508 Comments
User's avatar
Yopi's avatar

OT. Tangerine orc will never relinquish power. I mean, we know the guy.

Talk about potential candidates for president I don't like much.

Lance Thrustwell's avatar

"Sometimes a Republican can entice you,” he explained. “Maybe he lowers his drawers. Doesn’t mean you actually believe in anything! But it keeps you on your knees. It keeps you salivating and wanting more while he picks your pocket. That’s what this is about.”

TerseNurse's avatar

are you doing any better today, Lance?

ManchuCandidate's avatar

"STOP! MY DAD'S SPANKUTRON IS EXPLODING!"

-Mike Johnson's son.

Meccalopolis's avatar

Spam alert: mn. Reported.

Mysterysurf's avatar

Haven't suffered from brain fog in a while. It's making a comeback, I guess.

YaJagoff's avatar

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."

Relieved, the man asked about the types to which the saleslady replied: "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...

The Catholic type supports the masses;

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and

The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Boy, these comments today are really something, eh?

lol

PoDG follows the 92%'s avatar

When did we start allowing comments?

Belle la Bête f/k/a Girl Guide's avatar

Gallows humor as Rome falls…

Rad's avatar

"...What Jesse Watters does best, however, is make everything weird. “It’s like a woman. Sometimes a woman can entice you,” he explained. “Maybe she lowers her brassiere. Doesn’t mean you’re going home with her! But it keeps you interested. It keeps you intrigued and wanting more. That’s what this is about.”

Holy crap! He's fantasizing about Diaper Don in a bra!!!

ManchuCandidate's avatar

He closes his eyes and thinks of Trump?

PrimerGray's avatar

"He looks good. He looks hard."

---Watters describing Trump's mugshot

Belle la Bête f/k/a Girl Guide's avatar

(Michael Keaton wank gesture dot gif)

ManchuCandidate's avatar

"He looks good. I'm what I think is hard."

Corrected.

Belle la Bête f/k/a Girl Guide's avatar

I turned 40 in August and just went for my first mammo yesterday. Everything fine. Technician had a good sense of humor: she has a nickname for the X-Ray boob camera that compresses your breastesses. She calls it “Martha Squashington.”

Somehow I’m inclined to think “Martha” would serve the function of some kind of sexual gratification device for Donald’s moobs. Like Temple Grandin’s calming cow compressor for Devin Nunes.

Aquaman, Real Estate Investor.'s avatar

I think you might have won a prize for the most unsettling non-comment.

helenasgarden's avatar

A torture device invented by a man. I don't find it funny. (No offence intended.)

I think Donald doesn't care about his moobs. He would care about 12 year olds tortured by this device. Yeehaw!

Anarchy Pony's avatar

Their mental gymnastics really are fucking fascinating.

EyeQueue's avatar

We are watching how Nazi Germany happened in real time.

Or accelerated b/c of social media and the speed at which communication happens now.

jltympanum's avatar

The brassiere was invented in 1910 by Mary Phelps Jacob.

Not many people know that.

Chemical's avatar

Drunk History covered her, and the invention.

ames's avatar

Must watch!

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

"Please right your right hand. I pledge to the greatest president in the history of the United States. That loves us so much he can't even breath. That I will go out with my family, my friends, I'll do it any way - I don't care if I'm registered or not, I'm going to try to cheat like hell..."

Boy, Democrats really need to tone down their rhetoric.

Seems to me that this ought to be a bigger story considering what happened last time the fat fuck lost an election.

ShrillKitty's avatar

“Maybe she lowers her brassiere."

Jesse Watters presents: the hydraulic brassiere!

Raises when you need to let large ships pass beneath your boobies, then lowers again so cars can drive across your tits!

Bobathonic's avatar

Or like a low rider with lifting suspension, hoisting and dropping either side at will.

Euripides Pants's avatar

She lowers her brassiere to half grasp.

PrimerGray's avatar

“What happens if the Republicans take the House and they balk and don’t write the checks?"

If the GOP takes the House, who the fuck cares about that? I may finally take my long delayed tour of the Capitol, peacefully, of course. Like doctors did in previous times, I will make a House call.

paul's avatar

No matter who takes the House, there will be no checks.

PrimerGray's avatar

If the GOP takes it, lots of chemical imbalances, though.

Chemical's avatar

Oh, I'll be unbalanced, all right

Donald Laporte's avatar

Swoop and Scoop. HAWT!!

Karen Krebser's avatar

Is Donald Trump going to lower his brassiere at me?

<vomits>