677 Comments
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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Watters gives me a headache.

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Pexas Teat's avatar

That's the rohypnol wearing off...

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Zen Gali's avatar

One thing that is true is that the CIA was war-gaming civil war in the US over 25 years ago.

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"M"'s avatar

The CIA was trying to make sure the worst imported illegal drugs went to the neighborhoods in the U.S. with the most Black people in them

https://youtu.be/WUNohVdNuYk?si=1n7EtRXpp06PAN-q

and Republicans are, as usual, still trying to make that happen

https://youtu.be/jCgFU-q_O8s?si=38hIgcYpb2rn7nx5

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Gee, when the CIA was toppling Marxist regimes in South America, the GQP thought they were pretty spiffy.

Wha' happened?

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ManchuCandidate's avatar

8 Years of the Diaper, the stinkiest spy thriller ever by Jesse "Creeper" Watters

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Deebs45014's avatar

I wonder what’s going to happen to Jesse Watters when he ages out of his “douchey frat boy look” into just plain old “douchy”?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

He'll go full Tucker Carlson, thinking he's absolutely indispensable to Fox and therefore should be running everything, piss the wrong people off, make a stupid mistake, and end up doing his show from a she shed in the woods.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

Then he'll look just like FOX's Peter Douchy,

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

well, it seems plausible to me. After MKUltra gave me paranoid schizophrenia through coded messages on Bonanza and by manipulating the barking of my neighbor's terrier, I feel that it's possible they could perform this 'hat trick' of meddling with President Trump's speech patterns to make him sound like a blithering dotard...and thus give the nation four more years of Sleepy Creepy Sniffy Whiffy Joe, the most evil man in history, worse than a million Hitlers. Uh, oh, Bonanza's on. And Hoss has blinked thrice. I must pay especial attention to this episode.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

Oh man, speaking of MK-ULTRA...any internet oldz remember the old Mind Control Forums? Most of it was a message board with hundreds upon hundreds of raving schizophrenics, emboldened to write as much as they wanted about their own experiences as guvmint mind control targets.

It was *wild*...until you thought about how many of these ppl are actually out there, and how unhinged they are.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

No! Guess I missed out! I was a film critic for many years (out of the game since the plague year) and a person I interviewed once 15 years ago sent me a long anguished PM about how his caretaker had bamboozled him into signing papers of commitment, naturally a story that would make headlines in the paper I no longer worked for.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

Some of these folks spun tales that were *many* thousands of words. I mean many.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

In his short time in his time slot, Watters has managed to be even more full of shit than Tucker was.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Jesse's mom gave him advice not to go down conspiracy theory rabbit holes when he got this supposedly choice gig at Fux News, but true to the organization, how can he not spout off batshit crazy ideas to Fux's loyal zombie audience? That's what they tune in for, and the mealy mouthed Murdochs are only too eager to give it to them. Jesse, sounds like your mom is a great person so you are very fortunate. You are contributing to the destruction of America so GFY

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Mike's avatar

Sounds like when they pass out the MAGA talking points Jesse is last to get the list and all the good conspiracies are taken. So he ends up with the shit ones that everyone makes fund of. I guess we all know where he is on the MAGAaverse food chain. He needs to a game show hosting gig on cable.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

It's hard to imagine being lower in any hierarchy than Gutfeld(!), but...here we is.

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subterrene's avatar

So that's what Rs say about The Laptop now, it was hoaxed? After they spent SO much time and energy (ineffectually) flogging that fable. HAHahahahahaha

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Barney Rubble's avatar

Jesse Watters is dumber than a bag of farts.

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

bag of farts libelz!

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Barney Rubble's avatar

He can't sue, coz it's true.

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3FingerPete's avatar

Future events such as these will affect you in the future.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Criswell!! Amazing.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Predestination or free will.

We could be looking at a schism here, folks.

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Barney Rubble's avatar

Or will they?

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3FingerPete's avatar

Well, if the future is any indication then yes.

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Good thing I've kept up my Illuminati dues.

We're coming for you, Jesse.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Let the air out of his tires so you can ambush him. He'll never see that coming.

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Mary O'Shegetz's avatar

Jesse has no need to fear the 29 Factcheckers. They will all be factchecking Joe Biden.

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Cat Cafe's avatar

The astonishing thing of angrily denouncing fact checkers! They're so debased!

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Vic's avatar

Facts have a liberal bias. It's no fair to Republicans.

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Zen Gali's avatar

Is that the same CIA famous for overthrowing democracies around the world and installing murderous dictators at the behest of America's corporate interests (ie oligarchs)?

You know, the one that experimented in mind control and cults?

Tell me another one, Jesse, you fascist lick-spittle DOLT.

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