Jesse Watters So Mad At CIA For Rigging Post-Debate Coverage Against Trump, In The Future
That does sound like the CIA, in the future.
Thursday night’s much-anticipated Biden-Trump debate is still in the future. Trump and Republicans have been making as many excuses as they can for why Joe Biden will beat the crap out of Donald Trump and make him look like an absolute moron — because Biden is doing Mountain Dew, or brain Viagra.
Jesse Watters from Fox News must be one of the insecurest of all the Trump men, because he spent last evening going ahead and making up conpsiracy theories for why the after-debate coverage and factchecking will say Biden beat the living shit out of Trump.
The CIA did it.
Or the CIA will do it.
Or the CIA has already done it, but we’re just waiting for the wheels of time to play out.
Whatever, watch the official windowless van of Fox News babble some babbles.
JESSE WATTERS: Trump isn't just going up against Biden this year; he's going up against the CIA
‘Kay.
who's lurking in the shadows trying to kneecap him like the last two times with the Russia hoax
Not a hoax. Nope, not a hoax.
NOT A HOAX.
and the laptop letter.
“Laptop letter.”
Out of all the things Fox News mouthbreathers yell out like lunatics while they’re running through traffic, “laptop letter” is a pretty funny one.
Some redneck at a diner in Buttfuck, West Virginia, like “Oh yeah waaaay-ullllll what about LAPTOP LETTER?”
The CIA has interfered in the last two elections, which is illegal. Their charter prohibits them from conducting ops on American soil, so now, we're finding out some of the 51 Intel officials cook up the Hunter Biden laptop letter were at the time on the CIA payroll, and the CIA director at the time, Gina Haspel, likely knew it was going on. Obama's acting CIA director rushed the letter out before the debate so Biden could use it to discredit Trump's laptop attack.
Oh yeah waaaaay-ulllll what about LAPTOP ATTACK?
We literally had a (rare good) Supreme Court decision yesterday — written by Trump’s last appointee Amy Coney Barrett even! — that shoved a cumsock in wingnuts’ conspiracy theories about the FBI censoring information about LAPTOP. Now they will regale us with their fever dreams that 51 former intel officials writing a letter saying LAPTOP had “all the earmarks of a Russian information operation” is CIA COLLUSION WITH JOE BIDEN.
Laptop attack! Laptop attack!
Here is how this relates to tonight’s debate:
The agency's whacked Trump twice in a row. What makes you think they won't go for the hat trick? The media reports whatever the CIA leaks to them. The New York Times is deploying 29 fact checkers for this debate. 29. And we know the CIA has a history of infiltrating the press. The internet's going to be a battlefield in the aftermath of the debate.
The CIA is going to leak factchecks to the media, or the New York Times’s 29 factcheckers are going to be CIA, and they are all going to look at Wikipedia together, LIKE COMMON SPIES, and say “heeeeeengh, not sure we agree with Donald Trump’s policework there when he says windmills are the number one murderer of sharks.”
Or, you know, whatever he happens to say.
Sounds totally legit.
Fuck, they are scared about tonight.
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My drag name is Ms. Laptop Letter: Lola Laptop Letter. Luscious!
In the entire universe of pathetic taint lickers, Watters has got to be in the top 3. Way to go, bizach!