724 Comments
User's avatar
Stephen St John's avatar

Watters is filth, like all Fox "News" hosts.

GoldStar's avatar

My life’s stretch goal is to be 1% as cool as John Legend.

Just once. Maybe for 30 seconds or so. That’s all I ask.

kmblue187's avatar

"China has a well-known boner for..."

Evan has no mercy, almost spit DC into my computer again.

Ruththecatlady's avatar

I can't imagine it would be an INTERESTING sex tape. Literally a tape of a dude getting it on with his wife. That's practically wholesome.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

A study was done by who only knows at this point that indicated that married Republican couples have sex at a greater rate that married Democratic couples. This was pre-Obergefell, so it was basically heterosexual couples.

Of course, when married Democratic couples have sex, the woman cums.

Luke Warm's avatar

Can’t wait for the billion dollar lawsuit that will cause Fox to fire him.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Have you started calling him Jesse Wattles yet?

Everybody is.

Nick Sr.'s avatar

Tim Walz got married and went to China for his honeymoon in 1994. He left teaching and got into politics in 2007. So that doesn’t really make sense. Also is a sex tape with your wife on your honeymoon scandalous?

AlbertCamus's avatar

I get all my sex tapes done in China.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Only if she laughs, and not in the good way.

Dudley Didwrong's avatar

Just imagine Melania’s cackle.

eye8urcake's avatar

Well, sure. If you're a Trump republican your sex tapes are supposed to involve Moscow hookers and golden showers, or porn stars smothering their laughter, or, you know, kids.

TalentNotAutotune's avatar

That performance of "Let's Go Crazy" was definitely talent and not auto tune!

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

So let me get this straight. I, as a social studies teacher all these years, could have been traveling to China and been provided with free-flowing drugs, sex, assorted other diverse and illicit pleasures, just so they could take video of it all IN CASE I were someday to run for high office in the US?

Why the hell did I waste my time earning PDUs at my local community college???

knockedoutloaded's avatar

good thing I didn't have a lot of coffee in my mouth when I read the title of post!

biff murphy's avatar

Governor Walz

Governor Walz

Governor Walz…

No he’s not answering questions…

John Sweet's avatar

Every accusation is a confession, Jesse.

tim gueguen's avatar

Does Watters know something the rest of us don't? Like say that Chinese intelligence has a sex tape of Donald Trump, and this is an attempt at distracting from the inevitable reveal?

Ella Hyland's avatar

I figured they were trying to Uno reverse the pee tape thing.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Considering what we've been through for the last eight years, releasing the pee tape now would elicit a collective yawn from the United States.

Opalescent Riddles's avatar

Many people are saying, that I can tell you.

Maybe's avatar

If they do indeed have a sex tape of Tim Walz from his honeymoon, it's probably VHS and will have faded, assuming you can even find a machine to run it.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Tim has one up in his attic he can lend to you.

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

And probably pretty generic Midwest-style bedroom monkeyshines between a married couple. Is this really the kink Watters thinks it is?

mzf's avatar

I have a machine that can run it. Haven't used it in 10 to 20 years, it it worked when I played "O Brother where art thou" , "Dr. Strangelove", and a few others.

NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

Just watched him on Colbert, and as a CIS/het man, I say: Mayor Pete can throw down some shit on my Fox ANY TIME!

(Not sure what that means, but it means HE’S FUCKIN’ AWESOME. And I might leave my wife for him.)

Dina's avatar

'Sokay—my British hetero husband pretty much thinks the same thing about Mayor Pete. He's even learned how to pronounce "Buttigieg"!

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Yeah, but the way *I* pronounce it, Mayor Pete would be ALL OVER THAT.

I'm cis/het/male, too, I guess the Dems ARE turning us all to teh Gay!

zb23's avatar

sorta like how 18yo Obama was recruited by the CIA to use their Martian jumprooms. because in *1979* they were like "this is a good investment as this mixed race kid from Hawaii will definitely be the President in a few decades!" it just makes sense!

thephantomcheese's avatar

Actually, he was recruited the day he was born and shipped from Kenya to Hawaii just so they could have a birth certificate on file!

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Do you mean possums in general, or a particular outfit of possums?