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Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

*What sounded like an April Fool’s joke turned out to be real after a dog climbed onto a roof in Goshen.

Police said the dog pushed out a window screen and made its way up onto the roof.

Officers responded and helped the furry friend safely get back down.

Police said the dog is now back home safe.*

tek's avatar

Meanwhile...

𝐴 π‘“π‘’π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘™ 𝑗𝑒𝑑𝑔𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 π‘€π‘–π‘‘β„Ž π‘‡β„Žπ‘’ π‘†π‘Žπ‘‘π‘Žπ‘›π‘–π‘ π‘‡π‘’π‘šπ‘π‘™π‘’ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘œπ‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿ π‘”π‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘’π‘π‘  𝑖𝑛 π‘Ž π‘™π‘Žπ‘€π‘ π‘’π‘–π‘‘ π‘Žπ‘”π‘Žπ‘–π‘›π‘ π‘‘ π‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’ π‘œπ‘“π‘“π‘–π‘π‘–π‘Žπ‘™π‘  𝑖𝑛 π΄π‘Ÿπ‘˜π‘Žπ‘›π‘ π‘Žπ‘ , π‘€β„Žπ‘œ π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘π‘‘π‘’π‘‘ π‘Ž π‘šπ‘œπ‘›π‘’π‘šπ‘’π‘›π‘‘ 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ 𝐡𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒’𝑠 𝑇𝑒𝑛 πΆπ‘œπ‘šπ‘šπ‘Žπ‘›π‘‘π‘šπ‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘  π‘Žπ‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘†π‘‘π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’ πΆπ‘Žπ‘π‘–π‘‘π‘œπ‘™ 𝐡𝑒𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑒𝑑 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘› π‘π‘™π‘œπ‘π‘˜π‘’π‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘‘π‘’π‘šπ‘π‘™π‘’β€™π‘  π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘žπ‘’π‘’π‘ π‘‘ π‘‘π‘œ 𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑒𝑝 𝑖𝑑𝑠 π‘œπ‘€π‘› π‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’π‘’ π‘œπ‘“ π΅π‘Žπ‘β„Žπ‘œπ‘šπ‘’π‘‘.

πΎπ‘Ÿπ‘–π‘ π‘‘π‘–π‘›π‘’ 𝐺. π΅π‘Žπ‘˜π‘’π‘Ÿ, π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘β„Žπ‘–π‘’π‘“ π‘ˆπ‘›π‘–π‘‘π‘’π‘‘ π‘†π‘‘π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’π‘  π‘‘π‘–π‘ π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘π‘‘ 𝑗𝑒𝑑𝑔𝑒 π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ πΈπ‘Žπ‘ π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘› π·π‘–π‘ π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘π‘‘ π‘œπ‘“ π΄π‘Ÿπ‘˜π‘Žπ‘›π‘ π‘Žπ‘ , π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘™π‘’π‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ 𝑇𝑒𝑛 πΆπ‘œπ‘šπ‘šπ‘Žπ‘›π‘‘π‘šπ‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘  π‘€π‘œπ‘›π‘’π‘šπ‘’π‘›π‘‘ π‘šπ‘’π‘ π‘‘ π‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œπ‘€π‘›. π‘†β„Žπ‘’ π‘Žπ‘™π‘ π‘œ π‘“π‘œπ‘’π‘›π‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘™π‘’π‘”π‘–π‘ π‘™π‘Žπ‘‘π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘ β€™ π‘‘π‘’π‘π‘–π‘ π‘–π‘œπ‘› π‘‘π‘œ π‘π‘™π‘œπ‘π‘˜ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π΅π‘Žπ‘β„Žπ‘œπ‘šπ‘’π‘‘ π‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’π‘’ π‘€π‘Žπ‘  π‘‘π‘–π‘ π‘π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘šπ‘–π‘›π‘Žπ‘‘π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘¦. π‘‡β„Žπ‘’ π‘‘π‘’π‘šπ‘π‘™π‘’ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘Žπ‘ π‘˜π‘’π‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ 𝑗𝑒𝑑𝑔𝑒 π‘‘π‘œ π‘’π‘–π‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿ π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ 𝑒π‘₯𝑖𝑠𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 π‘šπ‘œπ‘›π‘’π‘šπ‘’π‘›π‘‘ π‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œπ‘€π‘› π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘œ π‘Žπ‘™π‘™π‘œπ‘€ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘š π‘‘π‘œ 𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑒𝑝 π‘Ž π‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’π‘’ π‘œπ‘“ π΅π‘Žπ‘β„Žπ‘œπ‘šπ‘’π‘‘ 𝑛𝑒π‘₯𝑑 π‘‘π‘œ 𝑖𝑑.

Pliny the Younger's avatar

Just got back from singing choir at Easter service, with Handel's Hallelujah Chorus as the grand finale. We sang at every service of the Paschal Triduum, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil and Easter morning. Thank goodness, all the music we sang was beautiful, but then our beloved music director has exquisite taste. Finishing a snack now, time for a nap.

helenasgarden's avatar

Nice times.πŸ‘

Dirty Work's avatar

The master negotiator posts fuck you and gratuitously insults Islam.

Unless bone spurs are hereditary Barron needs to step the fuck up.

zuludaddy (seam & key)'s avatar

okay maybe a James Bond flick to kill time/distract from this fucking planet

suggestions?

Kay Ducky's avatar

I like Moonraker for escapist nonsense. The Pierce Brosnan ones are popcorny enough, too.

zuludaddy (seam & key)'s avatar

[it being dark enough to forego my usual 'no video before dark' personal stricture]

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

3500 ground troops have been amassed but the population of Iran is 93 million. They are poised to be launched at something. In the meantime, diaper don is still playing the markets. Also, too, Pete just fired some stalwarts who I'm pretty sure warned him not to physically invade Iran, so they had to go. It's hard to say which one of these men are crazier at this point. All we can say is that they're calling the shots.

Pope Scipio Newburyporticus's avatar

Iran's army is 1.1 million. It took Bush 4 months of obviously moving troops and equipment to invade Iraq, which had and army about a fifth as big and a central government that bucked within days. Trump isn't fooling anyone with a ground invasion. 3500 isn't even a credible feint.

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

This is how you get Klendathus.

Garbageman's avatar

This is how he works the media . . . a hundred nitwit reporters now think they're hot shit because they can dial a number and later begin a tweet with . . .

'Spoke with President Trump' . . .

They then dutifully 'report' all his lying horseshit . . .

Rinse and repeat 😩 . . .

Rachel Scott @rachelvscott

Spoke with President Trump. He told me the conflict should be over in days, not weeks but if no deal is made he’s blowing up the whole country with β€œvery little” off the table.

"If happens, it happens. And if it doesn't, we're blowing up the whole country,” he said.

I asked if there’s anything off limits.

β€œVery little,” he said.

11:51 AM Β· Apr 5, 2026

https://xcancel.com/rachelvscott/status/2040819658433966553

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Spoke with President Trump. He told me Iran will magically disappear when it warms up in the summer....

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

πŸ€‘πŸ«‘πŸ™„

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

Fuck you, Rachel Scott. You're a manure spreader not a journalist.

tek's avatar

π‘Šπ΄π‘†π»πΌπ‘πΊπ‘‡π‘‚π‘/𝐢𝐴𝐼𝑅𝑂, π΄π‘π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘™ 5 (π‘…π‘’π‘’π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘ ) [...] π»π‘œπ‘€π‘’π‘£π‘’π‘Ÿ, 𝑖𝑛 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘˜π‘–π‘›π‘‘ π‘œπ‘“ π‘šπ‘–π‘₯𝑒𝑑 π‘šπ‘’π‘ π‘ π‘Žπ‘”π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘  π‘π‘Žπ‘“π‘“π‘™π‘’π‘‘ π‘ π‘’π‘π‘π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘ , π‘“π‘œπ‘’π‘  π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘“π‘–π‘›π‘Žπ‘›π‘π‘–π‘Žπ‘™ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘˜π‘’π‘‘π‘  π‘Žπ‘™π‘–π‘˜π‘’, π‘‡π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘šπ‘ π‘‘π‘œπ‘™π‘‘ πΉπ‘œπ‘₯ 𝑁𝑒𝑀𝑠 π‘œπ‘› π‘†π‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ πΌπ‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘› π‘€π‘Žπ‘  π‘›π‘’π‘”π‘œπ‘‘π‘–π‘Žπ‘‘π‘–π‘›π‘”, π‘€π‘–π‘‘β„Ž π‘Ž π‘‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘™ π‘π‘œπ‘ π‘ π‘–π‘π‘™π‘’ 𝑏𝑦 π‘€π‘œπ‘›π‘‘π‘Žπ‘¦.

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

and here we go again. Manipulating the markets for profit. Press is silent.

PrimerGray's avatar

How come he never gets cancer from all those windmills he tilts at?

Peter MacMonagle's avatar

I get lots of messages about how we have to get together to get rid of Trump (and send a contribution), but the only people who can do that are already in Congress - Republican majority and all that - and they are doing diddlysquat while Trump takes a jackhammer to anything that doesn't have his name on it. It is either an asteroid, or vote every Republican out of office at every election. I am so tired of this sick old man.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Voting doesn’t end shit like this. Cities will have to burn.

schmannity's avatar

I just wish Ivanka was there to control Trump's worst impulses.

Babe Paley's avatar

Maybe she IS...

PrimerGray's avatar

{π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘‘π‘  π΄π‘ π‘ π‘“π‘Žπ‘π‘’β€™π‘  π‘ π‘π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘’π‘‘ π‘Žπ‘”π‘Žπ‘–π‘›β€¦}

Jesus Christ. Stupid shart.

Runfastandwin's avatar

I have a theory in 2000 years instead of Jesus H Christ we’ll all be saying L Ron Hubbard.

Aquaman, Real Estate Investor.'s avatar

And "google" will mean taking an autonomous taxi somewhere.

Eva, Iron Goddess of Mercy's avatar

Okay you filthy fuckaducks, I just finished playing Easter Masses, so now I’m going upstairs and showering off all this fucking incense (fucking seriously??? I’m going to have to shampoo my hair about 45 times to get it all out.) Then I’m going to bed. I will commence snarking after my very well deserved nap. At least the gig payed really well.

schmannity's avatar

Our priest's son could "round the world" with the thurible in the procession. I always wanted to involuntarily duck

goCatgo's avatar

Yeah, but could he walk the dog ?

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Don't ever convert to Greek Orthodoxy. Those services routinely use enough incense to trigger EPA alerts. (Or would, if we still had an EPA that cared about things like air quality.)

goCatgo's avatar

When I was an altar boy, no one would do Benedictions cause of the nasty incense.

They had to give away indulgences by the hundreds of years to get boys to show up.

Supposedly, now I could shoot someone on 5th Ave and still go to Heaven.

Just the same, I'm not gonna test that Doctrine in the State of New York.

schmannity's avatar

The Ayatollah responded: Jesus was a mama's boy!

Edith Prickly's avatar

Hey MAGA Christians, this is your guy.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Like they see the coming Apocalypse he’s threatening as bad. They’re all insane.

Edith Prickly's avatar

Funny how the Apocalypse looks just like a narcissistic collapse.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

If you grow up seeing God as a controlling authoritarian who loves killin’…

Kay Ducky's avatar

He's not just blathering to a message board here, he's speaking for 350M Americans as POTUS.

The Simpsons ThisManDoesNotRepresentUs.gif

Pauly2coffees's avatar

But he does, whether we like it or not. Do we think the bombs won’t fall on our heads because we didn’t vote for him?

EyeQueue's avatar

we need to get rid of this diplomacy via Tweet bullshit. It should never have been acceptable.

Dirty Work's avatar

"Acceptance is the act of acknowledging reality as it isβ€”without resistance, denial, or judgmentβ€”or providing consent to an offer." Or so says my computer box.

We're fucked.

EyeQueue's avatar

Oh, I'm working on radical acceptance. It's very hard for me. I reject what is happening. :(

zuludaddy (seam & key)'s avatar

governance by thumbs, really :/

Stanta Knows's avatar

1,2,3,4

I declare a thumb war

Kay Ducky's avatar

I'm amazed he can type on anything with those swollen, rotting sacks of dough he calls hands.