Jesus Just All Right With Me. Tabs, Tues., April 14, 2026
Morning news roundup and things to read!
Good morning, some housekeeping: Apparently goddamned fucking goddamn Andrew Tate is now on Substack, and even more of you are cancelling your subscriptions than usual. (We were already down about 10 percent due to “The Groceries.”) Do I blame you? No. I don’t. You can continue to subscribe with us with Substack — “just go to Ghost” is not a viable option with 20 years worth of archives — or at the bottom of the post there’s our Paypal button or a Patreon link.
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SWALWELL OUT. No, of Congress. Because of the allegations that he’s a disgusting and rapist pig. (CNN) TONY GONZALEZ OUT TOO. Fuck both those guys. (MS Now)
JD Vance’s “marathon” diplomacy … ahem … bombed. (The Fucking News)
Just how many people are sitting in Dilley who are legally here? Anyway, here’s a Canadian mom and her seven-year-old who sat in ICE prison for weeks even though she has a Green Card and is legally present. Now she is out “on bond” and has to go back to Texas to meet with her “bond officer,” even though she didn’t do anything illegal. (The Guardian)
Ramsey County, MN, is investigating ICE for kidnapping that old man in the snow. “‘There is qualified immunity for all law enforcement in a lot of different capacities, but seizing a person out of their home who is an American citizen, they’re not immune from that,’ said Sheriff Bob Fletcher.” GIT EM. (KARE11)
People are all of a sudden noticing these January interviews Bekah Day did with Amanda Ungaro, the 20-year ex-girlfriend of Melania’s Trumpbassador bestie Paolo Zampolli, who had Ungaro deported. Ungaro threatened on Twitter to Melania that she would tell all if it was the last thing she did, hours before Melania’s insane press conference last Thursday. (Bekah Day / Kimmie Nicole)
Interesting seeing all the shitty front pages not covering No Kings, and the good ones that did! (Media and Democracy)
Democratic Senate map looking better all the time. (Cook Political Report)
Good lord, Cocktober already? Bryon Noem spent FIFTEEN DOLLARS A MINUTE talking to his dominatrix who kept trying to explain to him that Kristi Noem sucks and you shouldn’t shoot a dog and he was like “that’s stupid to talk about the dog” and “she’s a good person” like okay buddy, whatever’s getting you through the night. (Archive Daily Mail)
Trump killed Joe Biden’s Direct File because it made life a little easier for Americans, and stopped his friends from looting us (more). (Don Moynihan)
First the Forest Service, now the Postal Service! The government has stopped contributing to mailpeople’s pensions, so the USPS doesn’t “run out of money.” Because government’s obviously supposed to make a profit off all the services, that’s how you run government “like a business.” Just not one of Trump’s businesses; except for the crypto grifts, those all go broke. (CBS News)
This Wisconsin city voted out data centers, and this Missouri town threw out its entire pro-data-center city council! (Canary Media)
Iowa’s trying to pull some of the same higher education censorship shit as Florida. (MS Now)
I think we should all go to the Jogkulsarlon Glacier Lagoon. Don’t you? (Visit Iceland)
Everybody fire up a spliff or drop a tab for Sid Krofft, whose shit was SOOOO HIGHHHH. He was 96. (OC Register)
Not as high as this though.
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From Heather Cox Richardson:
"Today Péter Magyar, the man who will replace Orban after winning the election in a blowout, revealed that Orbán was using government money to finance CPAC. Orbán has clearly been working for the benefit of Russia’s president Vladimir Putin, and just days before the election, news broke that last October, Orbán told Putin, “In any matter where I can be of assistance, I am at your service.”
So it appears that CPAC was funded by a foreign government that was working closely with Vladimir Putin. In a speech today, Magyar told reporters that the outgoing foreign minister, who has been accused of working closely with Russian foreign minister Sergey Lavrov, was shredding confidential documents."
https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/april-13-2026?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web