Jimmy Kimmel’s Back, And He’s Not Gonna Be Sorry
Guess boycotts work!
Jimmy Kimmel Live! returned on Tuesday night from its six-day ban, after MAGA clutched their pearls and made moral outrage noises for Kimmel accurately calling them out last Monday:
“We had some new lows over the weekend, with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.”
Kimmel didn’t say the killer was one of them, and the observation was not about Kirk. But that didn’t stop Trump and his FCC buttplug Brendan Carr from going full spittle, vowing that the FCC would pull ABC’s broadcast license for the crime of aggravated being mean to MAGA, and Carr even tough-talking, “We can do this the easy way or the hard way” like some kind of Edward G. Robinson / John Gotti, and Trump whining in the Oval Office that a TV network running anything that makes him look bad should be ILLEGAL.
It doesn’t get much more First Amendmenty than a comedian making jokes about the government. But ABC clearly believed it was a credible threat, that they could get yanked off the air and then spend millions in court fighting to maybe get back on, if MAGA SCOTUS even ever eventually decided to let them. An expensive gamble. And what’s worse, now Trump’s even got all of those captured law firms prepared to do a billion dollars’ worth of harassing his enemies for free!
Also, Nexstar, which owns a bunch of ABC affiliates, is trying to do a $6.2 billion merger with another media company, Tegna, so they can have even more stations. And they can’t go through with the merger unless the FCC issues a waiver to a rule properly intended to prevent too much consolidation of station ownership. Sinclair Broadcasting, meanwhile, which owns the second-most number of affiliates after Nexstar, is joining in because it’s owned and run by right-wing dicks. (And also seems to think it might merge with Tegna too!) Also, Disney has its own $2 billion merger deal between ESPN and the NFL Network that could get blocked by Carr, who is now functionally a one-man board.
YESTERDAY!
You see the dilemma for the House of Mouse. Refusing to give in to Trump wouldn’t just risk their FCC license, but open the door for other, maybe even Trumpier, media operators to take over more stations too.
But submitting has never helped either. ABC already tried that with their $16 million settlement over George Stephanopoulos calling Trump a rapist (citing what the judge in the E. Jean Carroll defamation case explained is the correct colloquial term for what the jury found Trump did), and firing Terry Moran for accurately describing Stephen Miller. But trying to scapegoat Kimmel and the ensuing boycott also cost Disney big in stock price — $1.4 billion overnight — and pricelessly in plummeting brand goodwill. They also didn’t want to enter the Target death spiral, in which the former Pride-flaggingly liberal-presenting company capitulated to Trump over “DEI,” and then found themselves boycotted and disliked by the full political spectrum.
And hey, isn’t the theme of Disney movies always about telling the truth and being yourself? Have they not built a global Mouse empire on inclusion?
Anyway, watch Kimmel’s monologue!
Or read the transcript. Kimmel had no apologies, and a lot of human sincerity. He offered heartfelt condolences to widow Erika Kirk, and reached across the aisle.
“I want to thank the people who don’t support my show and what I believe but support my right to share those beliefs anyway, people who I never would have imagined like Ben Shapiro, Clay Travis, Candace Owens, Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, even my old pal Ted Cruz, who, believe it or not, said something very beautiful on my behalf.”
Much more diplomatic than Dear Leader could ever be. And you know he’s pig-biting, shoe-lift-stomping, wet-hen MAD! Probably double after hearing that list of RINO TRAITORS who backed Kimmel.
He is nothing but a shakedown man.
Oh, and ABC did not GIVE Trump $16 million dollars, they “donated it” to his “library.” Because if they gave it to him, that would just be a balls-out-in-everybody’s-face bribe, wouldn’t it? And when and if law and order returns, board members might could get in trouble for such a thing. We can dream!
And if nobody loves Jimmy Kimmel — the second-most-watched late night non-cable show after Stephen Colbert — then why does Trump have to put all the muscle he’s got into harnessing the powers of the state to keep people from watching him?
But can’t wait to see this JIMMY KIMMEL IS DEMOCRAT PLANT lawsuit.
And ha, The Handbasket reports Disney was fixing to announce price increases for its streaming service on Tuesday, but the Kimmel kerfluffle pre-empted that after over a million people canceled their subscriptions. Though it will go into effect in 30 days anyway.
So yeah, Disney sucks a little less today. But still, the fucking nerve of these streaming services, making subscribers pay, and pay, and then pumping out more and more ads! What has streaming even put out lately that’s worth watching? Rage on HBO is fantastic, but hurry up and watch because HBO (also CNN) is owned by Warner Brothers Discovery, and word on the street is it might be about to get bought by the Ellison boys too. And South Park is always a chortle, but that’s on Paramount, which is owned by them too. Maybe some old episodes of 30 Rock? NBC / GE / the Sheinhardt Wig Company is owned by Comcast / Trumpy investment firms now, but at least they haven’t cancelled Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon.
Maybe we should all set a calendar reminder once a month to just cancel everything. Instead of cancel culture, prove-your-worth culture. Let the networks prove their commitment to free-speeching on a monthly basis! Wait for the services to come up with a show to watch that’s worth sitting through a half-dozen car insurance and diaper ads for! Platforms are powerful, but everybody is always free to take or leave them.
At least there’s still TikTok for a few more months, until the Ellison brothers, Rupert Murdoch and the literal government take that over too.
It’s a scary time, but also, what do you know, MAGA’s power does have limits. And Trump’s approval rating has been nothing but slipping since his inauguration, now only 29 percent of Americans say they’re “satisfied” with how he’s doing.
Will fear of midterms and a woke planet make any Republicans in Congress start to push back on the MAGA agenda? Stay tuned!
[The Handbasket / NPR]
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These people are fucking disgusting.
𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐁𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧
Apparently, average viewership of Jimmy Kimmel Live is about 1.8 million. Last night it was 8 million. I do believe trump substantially increased Kimmel's popularity.