JINGLE SMELLS. Tabs, Fri., Nov. 10, 2023

A, and I am not kidding, Sean Hannity joint! Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Well, that’s a real shame.

(Yes, certain commenter, I know that we will regret not having his vote for Chuck Schumer. I also think it’s a real pity that any Democrat could oppose feeding poor children because “their parents will just spend money on drugs” and also oh just stopping the entire world, from being on fire.)

Mary Trump was about to publish a post about her uncle Donald and (some few of) his corrupt unpaid loans when the Manchin news hit, so she jammed it in there too. I think it works! (Mary Trump)

LOL clown car just got its much-missed lead clown. Jill Stein’s back! Back again! (CNN) But wait, wasn’t Cornel West the Green Party candidate? No, he stopped that — and she was his campaign manager! This is so messy! — and is an independent now managed by former arch-Hillaryite Peter Daou. (“Inside the Cornel West Campaign,” New York mag) Add in Steve Schmidt and some Bernie Bros running point for Dean Phillips, whichever neo-Nazis are running the game for RFK Jr., and rumors of a Joe Manchin Third Labels run — I only hope we can get Dick Morris back on the tit! — and what you have here is

(I have replaced the original Scanners brain gif because one of you was sad at me last time. Now it is just delicious pizza, YOU ARE WELCOME.)

I know we’re all mad at the New York Times (as we should be!) but they’re not wrong here (gift link) about abortion on the ballot. Yes, people in red states vote for abortion when it’s directly on the ballot. But they’re still not voting for the senators and governors who would actually protect it.

What does Gen Z want? Abortion and not to be murdered at school! High voter registration rates and self-reported intent to vote. And a lot of young male Republicans. Interesting and confusing and concerning at once! (Ignite report)

People aren’t vaccinating their children anymore. (NBC News)

It continues to amaze that the gunhumpers wanted this guy to be the face of their gun rights for domestic abusers case:

For Zackey Rahimi, the solution for just about every problem in life seems to be to shoot a gun in its general direction. In December 2019, he fired a shot at a bystander who’d seen him shove his girlfriend in a parking lot, then threatened to shoot his girlfriend too if she told anyone about it. When an acquaintance posted something rude about him on social media, he fired an AR-15 into their house. When he got into a car accident, he shot at the other driver; when a truck flashed its lights at him on the highway, he followed the driver off the exit and, for some reason, shot at a different car that was behind the offending truck. After Rahimi’s friend’s credit card was declined at a Whataburger, Rahimi pulled out a gun and fired several shots into the air, a choice that I doubt made terrified employees any more inclined to fulfill his order.

Justice Clarence Thomas, who wrote the original stupid Bruen decision that the lawyers are appealing for this guy under, said there’s only a “very thin record” in the case. I’d love to see a fat one! — Jay Willis at Slate

This escaped rapist drugged and raped dozens of women and sexually assaulted a couple of small children while law enforcement refused to investigate and then fired a prosecutor for complaining. Oh right, after they found his RAPE LIST and then DIGITAL EVIDENCE SHOWING HIM RAPING THE UNCONSCIOUS WOMEN, because (literally) did you see she was dressed like a whore? Um, Johnson City, Tennessee, WHAT? (Tennessean) Story has gone behind a paywall since yesterday. Here’s another version. (Tennessee Lookout)

Tracy Chapman won a Country Music Award for “Fast Car.” It came out in 1988. That makes me so happy. (CNN)

Jezebel out. It’s particularly shitty that the vulture capitalists at G/O Media didn’t let them put up a drunken goodbye post before it shut down their slacks and website access. What a bunch of fucking dicks. — 30 — (The Guardian)

Oh dear. Sean Hannity presents a War on Christmas, Jingle Smells, and no I’m not kidding. It also stars John Schneider, which burns my “Dukes of Hazzard”-watching seven-year-old crush to cinders. It makes me sad! — The Mary Sue

A Wonker requests you witness the guy who helped the CIA overthrow an Albanian dictator (!) and saved hundreds of Jews from the Nazis. If you’re in Chicago this weekend, the Albanian ambassador is flying in to celebrate Kadri Cakrani, Albanian Holocaust Hero, at “The Cakrani Family of Albania: Repairing the Fabric of History,” Sat., Nov. 11, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at DePaul’s historic Cortelyou Hall. RSVP at DePaulAlbania@gmail.com.

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