Joe Biden Wished Americans A Happy 2024 Like Some Unfeeling Monster!
Republicans hate joy.
It’s 2024 and human civilization is a bleak, dismal dustbowl of misery. That’s what Republicans want you to believe because they can’t win elections with a positive, constructive message, especially since it requires that they actually govern.
President Joe Biden is going to irritate Republicans this year because he insists on reminding Americans that life isn’t so bad, and his policies are effective. Rep. Kat Cammack was absolutely furious that Biden and First Lady Dr. Jill Biden expressed an upbeat message for the new year.
Fox Business host Cheryl Casone played the congresswoman from Florida a shocking clip of the Bidens on “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” with host Ryan Seacrest (Dick Clark has been dead for more than a decade but apparently still holds the New Year’s Eve trademark).
First, Seacrest wound up and pitched the softball: “As you look back and reflect on 2023, what sort of memories, highlights stand out?”
“My dad used to have an expression,” Biden replied. “He’d say, ‘Joey, a job is about a lot more than a paycheck. It’s about your dignity. It’s about respect.’ We brought a lot of jobs back to the United States. People are in a position to be able to make a living now. And they’ve created a lot of jobs, over 14 million. I just feel good that the American people got up. They’ve been through a rough time with the pandemic, but now we’re coming back, they’re back.”
This is longer (and more circuitous) than I like most people to speak, but if you’re normal — and thus not a regular Fox News viewer — you’d probably agree that it’s a good thing that the nation is on the upswing just shy of four years since a global pandemic shut down the economy and killed a half million Americans in 2020. You certainly wouldn’t find the president’s remarks offensive. However, Cammack claimed just watching the clip made her “uncomfortable, because obviously it is another example of a tone-deaf White House on so many issues. They have ignored the everyday American people.” Then she started repeated the usual Sturm und Drang-stuffed Republican talking points.
“You can’t buy a house if you’re a millennial because you’re, you just don’t have the funds to do it because inflation has wiped out your savings,” she went on, “your ability to purchase everyday goods and services. If you’re on a fixed income, you have it even tougher. Not to mention the fact that we have an opioid crisis that is killing over 100,000 people every single year, a crime wave that has gripped the country.”
Cammack was dancing to Lizzo at a right-wing event just a few months ago (NO LINK!), so I don’t buy her sudden Debbie Downer act.
“Nothing is better under Joe Biden’s America,” she insisted. “Heck, even Anderson Cooper is doing shots on live television. And I think that speaks to both CNN’s ratings as well as what’s going on in America today.”
Anderson Cooper was usually sloshed during most of his past New Year’s Eve broadcasts. This year, CNN ordered Cooper and co-host Andy Cohen to remain sober — the worst way to experience New Year’s Eve in Times Square — but they downed tequila shots just after midnight in recognition of this impressive achievement.
COHEN: It’s the top of the hour and we’ve been here for seven years doing this, and for most of those years at the top of the hour we typically have a toast. I’m hearing from a lot of people and I guess I’m just wondering, does Daddy get his juice?
COOPER: Can Daddy get his juice responsibly?
COHEN: Of course! Always.
Hmm, maybe they weren’t so sober before midnight. Regardless, they seemed quite happy to start 2024. Also, CNN’s New Year’s Eve ratings were almost double that of Fox News. “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” drew in 22.2 million viewers for its best ratings performance in three years. That’s the “Biden Bounce” in action.
Biden isn’t “tone deaf.” He just refuses to play Jimmy Carter in Republicans’ desired remake of the 1980 election.
Happy New Year!
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What the GOP wanted OHJB to say:
I just want to wish the American people a Happy New Year. But not really.
Things are horrible. Your life is horrible. Sure, you have a job. But you can't buy an egg...or something. And migrants are coming to take the job you have that you didn't have three years ago. So, why even have one, amirite?
And a house? You can't have one. Even if you have one, you shouldn't have it.
And look how many people died this year. It's like how does that even happen? No one ever dies before I became President. You're probably next.
And don't get me started on gas prices, no matter how low they are, they would be lower if I wasn't President. Just ask Ted Cruz.
All in all, you should probably just resign yourself to never being happy. Maybe just go over to your neighbor's house and take his garbage out of his garbage can. It's probably better than your garbage, so why should he have it and not you?
Fuck Ted Cruz.
We started 2024 learning that after three excruciating years, my husband is currently cancer free, so I say to that Fox News cabal, who are creaming themselves over a poor Hitler cosplay - BRING IT ON, FUCKERS - the future is looking bright.