15 Comments

Nah, they just need to get the Toy Story Etch-A-Sketch as a rombot stand-in.

Expand full comment

I'm confused. How is an "expert debater" a good stand-in for (R)Money?

This is gonna leave Obama totally unprepared for the random idiocies he's going to have to deal with in the actual debates.

Expand full comment

I have a Nunzilla -- I cannot recommend it highly enough. Recovering Catholics never fail to fall down laughing.

As for the nuns on the bus, more power to 'em. I hope they really press the question, <i> "What would Jesus cut from the budget?"</i>

Expand full comment

Reach into his chest, and then go "Wait, what the fuck...???"

While Cheney smirks knowingly.

Expand full comment

He'll need Anne's help, to drive the other Cadillac.

Expand full comment

If these dog-and-pony shows were in fact debates, that might be an issue. But really, they're mostly just a series of opportunities to deliver prefabricated little speeches.

If the moderator manages to goad the candidates into making actual spontaneous statements, Mint Mormoney will be toast, and you can be sure his programming will be designed to prevent that.

Expand full comment

Maybe hallucinogens will be involved, to nail that patented Rmoney allergy to truth and consistency.

Expand full comment

I just can't see Kerry trying to tackle Obama and cut his hair.

Expand full comment

Kerry is too lifelike and down to earth.

Expand full comment

I hope Obama will wait until Romney states an obvious lie and then shout "You lie! You lyin', motherfucker!"

Expand full comment

I could not believe the "purple heart band-aids" the Republicans had out that year.

Expand full comment

I'll tell you who is black, articulate and would be fun to watch Romney debate: Ving Rhames.

From Pulp Fiction <i>That's just pride fucking with you.</i> I think this statement summarizes my impressions of Romney's leadership.

Expand full comment

John Kerry is much too lifelike and too smart to be (r)Money's standin. Besides, who other than Mittens himself can seemlessly shift from one position to the other then back to this orginal then shift to...

“I was amazed. I’m standing next to a guy who has the most blatantly dishonest answers I can remember in any presidential race in my lifetime… I don’t know how you can debate someone with civility if they’re prepared to say things that are factually false.”

Newt Gingrich on Mitt Romney

Expand full comment