Iowa Republican Senator Joni Ernst choked yesterday and Kentucky Republican Senator Rand Paul, who is a sorta kinda eye doctor (self-certified), saved her by using the Heimlich. It happened at a Senate luncheon. She’s OK now.
Three cheers for Rand Paul for seeing a choking woman and not being a total fucking libertarian about it and demanding she pull her windpipe up by its bootstraps.
Seriously, though. Glad she’s OK.
Confirming the news, Ernst wrote on the Artist Formerly Known As Twitter: “Can’t help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks, Dr. @RandPaul!”
Shut the fuck up.
Ernst could have died and she came out of it with a new lease on life, ready to make dumbass “woke” jokes about Democrats?
Glad she’s OK, but shut the fuck up.
Utah Republican Senator Mike Lee is so thirsty he had to lick Rand Paul’s stethoscope on Twitter and call him a hero.
Get a room, you fucking dork. And stay in it, by yourself.
He said, “Not all senators can quote Mises and Hayek — while saving lives!” Jesus Christ. As if anybody whose opinion is worth shit thinks of Rand Paul as either intellectually or medically formidable.
Republicans are basically at this point just the party of fascists, shut-ins and lunatics and these tweets are why normal people hate them.
Again, glad she’s OK.
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In a Kentucky diner, a couple friends see a woman start to choke. One of them runs up to her, pulls down her panties, and tongues her butt. She is so started she spits out the piece of food she was choking on. He sits back down and his friend says, "Y'know, I heared of that Hind Lick Maneuver, but I never seen it before."
My wife saved our friend by using the Heimlech maneuver one day while we were out camping. He was choking on a piece of steak. Of course we applauded and appreciated her quick action.
I see now that we were remiss in not lionizing her, calling the newspapers, and starting a tweet storm about her heroism. Our friend, a true liberal and Democrat did not come up with a catchy (nor kvetchy)political metaphor, and we simply went back to eating and drinking wine (after admonishing our friend to chew his steak more diligently.)
Truly a great opportunity was missed.