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Kansas Children! Get Educated, So You Can Haul Ass Out Of Kansas And Never Come Back!
And the lord said, "Please delete Kansas."
Hey, remember that thing we told you Wednesday, about how the fine, upstanding Republican Jesus warriors of the Kansas legislature intended to spend their sine die (final day in session, for you non-Latin speaking hayseeds) passing a dumb resolution yelling at the Obama administration for saying trans kids in ALL THE STATES should be able to pee at school? The Kansas Senate did that. All the Senate Democrats voted against it.
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/kansas-might-not-have-any-schools-for-trans-folks-to-terrorize-this-fall-lol-whoops"></a>[/wonkbar]Remember also how what the lege should have been doing is addressing a recent Kansas Supreme Court ruling that ordered it to fund schools equitably, as opposed to giving all the good moneys to the rich districts, and leaving only pea gravel dooky money for the poor districts? Remember how there is a $38 million shortfall that has to be addressed by June 30, otherwise schools won't be able to open in the fall? The Kansas legislature ignored that, just like Senate Republicans said they would.
Kansas Democrats must have been reading their Wonkette Wednesday, as they made the very same point we did in the statement they released:
"If schools are closed, there won't be any students using the bathrooms." -- Senate Democratic Leader Anthony Hensley
No shit! Like, literally, no shit. No transgender shit, no cisgender shit, no ANY kind of shit in the bathrooms in Kansas schools, because no money.
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/attorney-general-loretta-lynch-bout-to-have-to-smack-a-bunch-more-states-upside-their-heads"></a>[/wonkbar]The anti-transgender resolution also originally called upon state Attorney General Derek Schmidt to PLEASE join the lawsuit all the wingnut states filed against Obama, to stop the hordes of trans kids from pooping all over THEIR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS. Good news, because Schmidt went ahead and announced his intention Wednesday to do just that.
And as to that little tiny wee issue of equitable school funding? Pfffffffft, said Senate Republicans:
Senate Majority Leader Terry Bruce, R-Nickerson, ... pushed back against criticism for responding to the transgender guidance but not the Supreme Court ruling.
“If you believe your son has a right to see my daughter in various stages of undress, you’re wrong. And if you believe the Kansas Legislature avoided its duty to equitably fund schools, you’re equally wrong,” Bruce said.
Nobody believes that, you inbred smegma volcano. And maybe you should tell your daughter not to strip for all the boys at school, JUST SAYING.
Senate Republicans also went on record saying that the state supreme court is mean, and that it should shut up right now:
“This court doesn’t have any intention of allowing this issue to be resolved,” said Sen. Jeff Melcher, R-Leawood. “They’re going to continue dropping little turds like they have at the appropriate times to do everything they can to try to discredit the Legislature.”
Awwww, they're "dropping turds" on the poor, put-upon Republican lawmakers. We hope they're not dropping transgender turds, because those are Satanic!
So, will poop-gobbling Republican Gov. Sam Brownback call a special session to address the funding crisis by June 30, or will he bitch and moan and pass blame off on the Kansas Supreme Court? Haha, like we even have to ask:
“I will work with the Attorney General and Legislative leadership to respond aggressively and appropriately to any action taken by the Kansas Supreme Court to close our schools. Kansas has great schools and they should remain open. The Court should not be playing politics with our children’s education,” Brownback said.
And with that, Wonkette cordially invites Gov. Brownback to join the Republicans of the Kansas Senate in eating SO MANY bags of dicks. Thirty-eight million bags of dicks, to be exact, one bag for each dollar that should be used educating the children of Kansas so they can get the fuck out of that failed state and never come back.