Kash Patel Wins Official 'Hegseth Microdick' Award For Firing FBI Agent Who Had Gay Pride Flag
Big man. Biiiiiiiig maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.
We are ruled by the biggest fucking pussies who ever walked this earth in perpetual fear of springing a boner while “horsing around” with their straight buds.
So insecure. So desperate to prove their manhood and unreserved heterosexuality.
So lacking in every way, including the ability to find the clit.
Kash Patel, the most beclowned FBI director in the history of the US or any other country’s equivalent, took a break from (allegedly!) writing Sharpie messages on bullets to tweet as “evidence” of the latest Transgender Antifa Democrat crime (allegedly!) to fire an FBI agent for … having a gay pride flag on his desk last year?
Kash did this — while not solving crimes LMAO LOL of course not — on the first day of the government shutdown, we guess to make clear that … what? No faggots allowed? God hates fags?
We’d take time to wonder what known homosexuals Ric Grenell or Scott Bessent or the Log Cabin Republicans think about this, but those greedy little white prisses have zero self-respect, and they’re too busy trying to prove they’re worthy of hanging out with the straight Republican men whose dicks attention they crave to bother with the affairs of LGBTQ people who actually love themselves.
(Out and proud gay Wonkette managing editor Evan Hurst — this writer! — says you’re always gonna be faggots, boys, no matter what you do.)
Anyway, back to Kash.
Was the horrible queer gay homo trans flag on the agent’s desk right now? Did it jump out and taunt Kash and make fun of his bug eyes? Nah.
The trainee, who previously worked as an FBI support specialist in Los Angeles, received a letter — dated Oct. 1 and signed by Patel — claiming he had displayed an improper “political” message in the workplace during his assignment in California under President Joe Biden, according to a copy of the letter shared with MSNBC.
Cool country we live in. Totally. Thank your Republican friends and family who voted for this, by changing your phone number and making sure you’re not available if something terrible happens to them.
The letter said:
“You are being summarily dismissed from your position as a New Agent Trainee at the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia, and removed from the federal service,” read the letter, which was sent on the first day of a nationwide government shutdown that created job uncertainty throughout the federal workforce.
“After reviewing the facts and circumstances and considering your probationary status, I have determined that you exercised poor judgment with an inappropriate display of political signage in your work area during your previous assignment in the Los Angeles Field Office,” Patel wrote, without referencing a flag.
For a fucking pride flag. A flag that says hey, I exist, and that’s OK, and you’re OK, and I’m proud of who I am.
That’s not allowed in the Trump Nazi regime, which is only safe for whites only, Christians only, and — allegedly, as long as you don’t show your face on your Grindr profile — straights only.
The agent trainee, who had most recently been assigned to the FBI Academy in Quantico, won an Attorney General’s Award in 2022 in recognition of his work, according to a Justice Department news release.
Of course they did, and firing them is a bonus. Fire a faggot, fire an actually qualified agent, bonus points if you can do both at same time!
Now, it sounds like whatever decent people remain at the FBI are trying to make sure they haven’t accidentally left any breadcrumbs that would suggest they are people of honesty, decency, integrity, or love of country:
News of the trainee’s firing spurred some agents in the FBI’s Washington field office to scour their work stations and social media accounts for signs or comments — anything that could be viewed as offensive to Trump, his top appointees and MAGA supporters, according to one person familiar with the reaction within the government.
Neat.
When Trump was weeks away from inauguration in January, FBI agents and Justice Department prosecutors were warning one another to be careful about displaying information revealing their own sexual orientation or support for lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender rights. After the inauguration, one person said, FBI agents warned colleagues that they heard new pro-Trump appointees installed at the FBI were combing through internal employee files to find lists that identified employees as LGBTQ.
Wow.
Again, is Ric Grenell cool with this? Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent? The Log Cabin self-hating quisling squad? Haha of course they are. Those types never are willing to consider the possibility that the Niemöller quote includes them too.
(Historically, it tends to.)
Anyway, this is all likely part of Project 2025 Christian Nazi and OMB Director Russ Vought’s imminent Government Shutdown Crusade against anybody his sick, perverted interpretation of the Bible says should be eliminated. As MSNBC notes, Russ Vought has absolutely been creaming himself to use a shutdown to get going on these firings.
Why, we imagine it’s giving him his first hair-covered, three-inch erection in a decade.
To be clear, MSNBC did not use the words “creaming” or “hair-covered three-incher,” but it’s always possible they thought them and it made them laugh. Allegedly!
However, if it became a thing that whenever anybody heard the name “Russ Vought,” they thought of the words “hair-covered three-incher,” well, then we would not mind demand royalties.
In fact, those are the words you need to remember about this entire post, which was also about Kash Patel firing a gay FBI agent for having a gay flag on his desk last year.
[MSNBC]
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But cheating on and abusing multiple wives is totally cool.
That pic up top looks like Kash is trying to learn how to fart like his lord and savior Trump..