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Kayleigh McEnany Not Asshole About Martha Stewart Looking Fine As Hell On Softcore Mag Cover
Some other Fox News 'hater' had stupid thoughts instead.
Martha Stewart, the other successful woman James Comey tried to ruin, made history this week as the oldest woman to appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated ’s swimsuit issue. She’s 81 and looks fabulous, not just in a superficial way, although she’s got that going on. No, she boasts a radiance that comes from inner peace and contentment.
Check it out. She's all kinds of goddamn.
Stewart, whose roast chicken is in fact perfect, wrote on Instagram: “I am so thrilled to be on the cover of [theSports Illustrated swimsuit issue]. My motto has always been: ‘when you’re through changing, you’re through,’ so I thought, why not be up for this opportunity of a lifetime? I hope this cover inspires you to challenge yourself to try new things, no matter what stage of life you are in.”
Stewart spent five months in prison, longer than some people who tried to overthrow the government. She even lived through that TV biopic starring Cybill Shepherd. Few people would begrudge her happiness, certainly no one in possession of a human soul … ok, you probably see where I’m going with this.
Monday, the panel on Fox News’s "Outnumbered" discussed the Stewart cover, and somehow Kayleigh McEnany was the voice of almost reason.
"I think this is great," she said. "Celebrating women. You don't have to be a perfect model in your 20s. She looks beautiful, she looks great, I'm all for it.”
Co-host Emily Compagno added, "You know she looks happy."
Harris Faulkner agreed, “She does.”
But guest Lisa Boothe protested, “Am I the only hater?” She sounded pissed, like she was the only who showed up to the witch burning actually prepared to burn a witch.
"I'm going to be a hater," she insisted. "I'm not down with it. Like she's 81, what are we going to put like 90-year-olds on the cover?"
"Sure, why not," Faulkner replied, not quite buying Boothe’s Sports Illustrated slippery slope edition.
"It's like putting obese people on the cover," Boothe said, officially becoming the worst person who ever lived named Boothe. And yes, I know how Abraham Lincoln died.
Faulkner said, "I know 30-year-olds who don't look that good." Boothe is 38, so that's some deep shade.
"My memaw looks great in a bathing suit," McEnany volunteered. "And she was so proud of it.”
Keep up the good work almost being human, Kayleigh!
Then Boothe proceeded to just rain evil. You expected a house to fall on her.
"I'm not down with it! Look, like I don't want to give young girls complexes, so I understand that we don't want to feed unhealthy perceptions among young people. We also don't need to go nuts with it, right? It's like telling people that like Lizzo is healthy or something. I'm sorry, you're not."
Lizzo is in fact healthy and wonderful. Boothe is the one who’s sick, and no amount of Pilates care cure her.
Faulker was apparently offended on Martha Stewart’s behalf that Boothe would compare her to a large Black woman.Boothe continued, "It'sjust like this whole movement of we have to have the oldest, we have to do this — I don't know, I'm not down with it, I'm sorry."
When can we expect Boothe's memoir, I'm Not Down With It: Notes From A Horrible Person ?
Compagno asked if Boothe would feel better if they kept Sports Illustrated just for the young hot chicks, and the old broads could stick with Women’s Health , Town and Country , and, I guess, Corpse Digest .
Boothe pondered Compagno's separate but not equal proposal: "Yeah, like there is this whole thing now, and she's actually attractive, but there's this whole thing now where we're told like beauty is someone who's like objectively not attractive, right?"
I don’t think “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a new thing. I mean, this is literally fairy tale shit. Does Boothe watch that "Twilight Zone" episode and root for the bigoted pig people?
"Turn Fox News off!" youtu.be
"Like, we are just in this like weird — I don't like the societal stuff that's going on right now," she whined, and when guest Guy Benson said he thought Stewart "looks beautiful," she simply continued her villain monologue.
"Not her specifically, but we're told, you know, hairy armpits is attractive, like it's not," she said, as the unquestioned arbiter of beauty. "You know what I mean? I just want to live in reality, that's all I want to do."
Boothe wants to live in a world where deep down everyone is as ugly as she is, but that reality will forever elude her. She’s alone. I almost feel sorry for her, but let's not get carried away.
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