If this week has taught us anything, it is that Americans are extremely eager to hear some more white guys they’ve never met telling them how to think about abortion. So our next entrant in the “MAGA idiot dudes having temper tantrums over the world leaving them behind forever” sweepstakes for the week is Greg Gutfeld, from yesterday on Fox News’s “The Five.”
If we’re handing out awards for different categories, this one can be Best Anti-Abortion Conniption That Oh No Is He Having A Stroke Right Now? What Is He Talking About?
People have abortions, Greg says, because they are terrified of transformational change. This is a very different argument from, say, Charlie Kirk’s breakdown about ALL SWIFTIES WANT IS SWIFT ABORTIONS!
Gregory, the floor is yours:
Greg says that because the illegitimate partisan hack fascist Supreme Court overturned Roe, we no longer have to pretend abortion is a “right.” Therefore we don’t have to have “political discussions” about it. And he continued:
GREG GUTFELD: Abortion is based on a fear that is greater than the actual reality.
Yeah, what’s the big deal of having a baby? The baby comes and then somebody takes care of it and your life doesn’t change that much, oh wait that’s for Republican men.
GUTFELD: And if you don't believe me, talk to somebody who had a baby and then think about how they were before they had the baby. That's called a transformational change, right? The woman becomes a different woman than she was before when abortion was an option.
We do not believe him. Greg appears to be operating under the strange belief that nobody who has a baby regrets it. (Between 17 and 18 percent do according to studies, and that’s among people with the courage to admit it.)
Dear white conservatives: Not all babies are blessings to whoever has them. Parenthood is not a miracle for everybody. And people who really don’t want or can’t handle having a child don’t magically change their minds in the delivery room.
But sure, Greg! Keep telling people how to feel about their bodies, their pregnancies and birthing humans! People love it when elderly Fox News dildos educate them about things like this. And it’s going great for you at the polls!
GUTFELD: And that drives the fear. Once you see that, you can't unsee it, right?
OK but really, is he having a stroke?
GUTFELD: It is the best antiabortion argument out there and no one is making it. People do have their reasons for abortions. You mentioned a very, very tragic and ugly one. But people make decisions out of their careers or maybe their relationship, the person they are dating isn't the person they want to marry. But underneath all of that is a fear of this transformational change and if you admit that that might actually move you to maybe a different stance than you have now.
We don’t know if the political discussion would change if instead of forced birth it was forced TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE, but Greg is welcome to try to get conservatives to adopt the framing.
Should people be forced to carry their rapists’ TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGES?
Should they just face their fear of the TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE of a pregnancy killing them?
Obviously Greg Gutfeld is just pigfucking ignorant. And we don’t need to lean into those tragic situations to rebut his babbling. Let’s debunk his entire mouth with one fact: 60 percent of people who have abortions already have children, you stupid motherfucker.
Put that in your transformational change pipe and inhale.
These lunatic freaks will never, ever understand that the reason America keeps voting against them is because they don’t want Republican politicians in the room making their medical decisions for them.
It’s not about finding a certain week cut-off for when abortion is magically no longer OK.
It’s not about making sure people who are pregnant take the requisite 72 hours to think about if they really truly for real do not want to be pregnant anymore.
The message from Americans to white Republican conservative Christians is get out of our fucking lives.
The electoral beatings will continue until forever.
[Media Matters / video via Kat Abu]
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I have a BRCA2 mutation and have faced cancer twice already (I'm 43). Mom TK was dead at 37, after 3 bouts with cancer, and her sister, Auntie TK, also died at 37 after 3 bouts. As soon as I knew my mutation status, I was ride-or-die for the notion of NEVER having kids, because I would be clickety-clackety rolling the dice on whether or not they'd inherit my crappy gene. And if I'd ever accidentally gotten preggo, you bet your bippy I'dve had an abortion post-haste. "Transformational change" my ample ass.
I know my situation isn't common, but "pro-life" assholes never have a good answer for folks like me, so I enjoy beating them around the head with it. And I'll continue to do so until they return to beneath whichever rocks they've crawled out from.
As far as this democratic-socialist, mother of two and grandmother of four fiercely feminist bisexual bitch is concerned no man utterly and entirely incapable of conceiving and carrying a pregnancy to term and then suffering through the unprecedented agony of labor and delivery has ANY gawd damned business telling any American woman what she may and may not do with her own body.
I am dangerously disgusted with these pretentious patriarchal pricks and their incessant dedication to subjugating American women all the way back to 1953. These fading, failed frat fucks quite literally want to chain American women to their stoves, barefoot and commando, and to keep us all at their misogynist beck and call.
Posting protocols prohibit me from articulating precisely what they deserve.