Even pushing aside the extreme fucking weirdness of making your son your official Penis Patrol, it probably isn't great that the Speaker of the House has given some shady 3rd party access to his entire digital life. I'd bet hacking Covenant Eyes is child's play for a foreign intelligence service. Even if they can't get to US intel, I'd bet money there is something worth blackmailing this weirdo over in there somewhere.
How is Masturbatory Mike &Son able to adjust the filters on their WankWare to keep out porn alerts when one of them downloads a randy news item about Trump&Stormy&rolled up Forbes, or Boebert&Boytoy at the darkened theater, or Falwell & Wife's horny bedroom photo shoot with the poolboy, or Rudy's presser at the dildo emporium , or Gym Jordan's career at Ohio State as head Wrestler Molester Protector?
I wonder how MAGA Mike will be able to watch any of Margie TrailerPark Ghoul's Hunter Biden Palooza hearings without his son's phone melting down into a puddle in his pocket.
Then again, maybe the son keeps his phone in his front pocket and set on vibrate for a reason...
Um... if it's god's will that Mangy Mike become the House Speaker-in-Tongues, and that brings with it all of the media spotlight and digging into backgrounds and publicizing of beliefs that goes along with prominently held political positions in our country, isn't it also god's will that all of that happen? And, doesn't that mean it's god's will that we carefully examine Kelly Johnson's record of anti-gay hysteria?
Seriously, the pool-boy scandal can't be uncovered too soon. Can't we get a GoFundMe going to encourage the boy to come out of the closet?
They have calm, gentle, passive demeanors. That’s not the same thing as kindness, which probably starts with not believing gay people don’t exist, or same sex relationships are similar to beastiality. Or trying to turn gay people straight, or converting people to your religion. Something, something, the banality of evil. I’m an atheist but I strongly believe everyone has the right to embrace whatever religion they want, or to leave it alone. While I deeply respect Johnson’s right to believe what he does, I nonetheless think many of his views are terrible and wrong. I’m mostly ok with the “love thy neighbor,” and “forgiveness is good,” and “feed and clothe the needy” kind of Christianity. But the Bible thumpers who rail against LGBTQ+ and spout hypocrisy can get lost. And if ANY politician isn’t willing to say “my religious views, however deeply I feel them, will NOT be part of my political agenda,” should be expelled. It’s as vital an oath as any. Get that prayer group shit out of congress now. It’s not cute and the Founding Fathers would be horrified, and would issue America a solemn warning.
And he loves all people and would give you the shirt off his back. [...] And [I became a Christian counselor] because I love people and want to help them through their times of struggle and suffering[.]
/Quote
Oh yeah. They love, love, love people. As long as they aren't gay or trans, and want to live that identity without interference. Then she's ready to "help them" with their "struggle and suffering" from being forced to live lives that are a complete lie. By telling them to suck it up and pray harder.
“ And he loves all people and would give you the shirt off his back.”
He loves all people. She loves “all people”. All people. I don’t know why but that phrasing has me suspicious af. Not, “We’re all the same in God’s eyes” or “He doesn’t judge” or literally anything else. These two host swingers parties. Prove me wrong. They’re likely into some twisted kinky shit none of us will be surprised to hear about when it comes out a year from now.
all that treacle really makes me want to shit in their mouths. forced to go to church then watch as "Father Day" would stop by the house and he and the female parent would repair to the kitchen with door closed.
fuck those people.
fuck those slimy hypocrites.
even shitting in their mouths is too good for them.
Josh Duggar also had CovenantEye on his computers, and look how well that worked out.
My brother had a fundy phase a long time ago during which time he lived in a Christian dorm house. One of the other residents got “caught” using the shared house computer to look at porn, so the other members changed the password. I said to my brother, “And they didn’t give him the new one, of course.”
(It came with a warning that this my last free article, which is funny because it is also my first free article but it is from September 2022, so you can probably find it at your local liberry, assuming that some theocrats haven't burned it down.
Among many alarming observations:
The guy in charge of developing the app is "a former NSA mathematician who now serves as a data scientist for the company." Not that it is domestic spyware, mind you. Heavens no.
This, also, too:
[Quote]Covenant Eyes spokesperson Dan Armstrong says the company is “concerned” about “people being monitored without proper consent.” He adds that “accountability relationships are better off between people who already know each other and want the best for one another, such as close personal friends and family members,” and that the company discourages using its app in relationships with a power imbalance.[Close Quote]
Setting aside, for the moment , the question of whether family members (say a father and his minor son) may have a power imbalance, the big dogs of evangelical churches are using it to create a wild imbalance of power over their members/marks. It's like 24/7 Super-Confession and even downright Papist, say I. The following lighthearted sketch illustrates some of the problems:
Two Corinthians walk into a church
Corinthian One: Why, hey there, Brother in Christ.
Corinthian Two: Back a ya, Brother in Ditto.
C1: As your Accountability Partner, I'm sorry to say that I've gotten a whole passel of notifications about your browsing. My phone has been ringing off the virtual hook.
C2: And as *your* Accountability Partner, I've had a similar experience. For instance, what about this visit to an account called WhataJagov dot com.
C1: Oh, that is just a site concerned with Western Pennsylvania slang.
C2: And Jackoff dot com?
C1: OK, that's a masturbation site but, to be fair, I am the senior Corinthian here so I claim my power imbalance exception. But as long as we're getting all high and mighty, what in heavens-to-betsy compelled to visit a site called wonkette dot com?
C2: Oh, that was just a finger-slip. I was trying to visit wonking-for-Jesus dot com. I am admittedly your inferior but if I revealed that information to the Deacon, you could be in hot water and not the pleasant hot tub spa water, neither.
C1: That's for sure. Everybody knows that if you intentionally visit wonkette dot com, you will be cast down to Hell so fast that the Devil won't have time to give you the welcoming tour. It's a good thing for both of us that, under the principle of Mutually Assured Destruction, none of this will get out.
C2: Mmm, well, maybe not I sorta posted our unencrypted passwords on social media for all to hack.
C1: Ouch! So did I.
C1&C2: What time's The Rapture?
CURTAIN
Edited to include the URL for the Wired which I omitted, three times now and counting!
I’m curious about why ol’ Mikey needs his son, rather than his covenant married WIFE, to keep him accountable on the porno. I’d think she’d be more, you know, amenable to that.
"...to prevent him from becoming history’s most prolific masturbator."
Hey!! I hold that title until he beats me...as well as his cock. To be the king, you gotta beat off the king, so to speak.
Fuck Ted Cruz.
Even pushing aside the extreme fucking weirdness of making your son your official Penis Patrol, it probably isn't great that the Speaker of the House has given some shady 3rd party access to his entire digital life. I'd bet hacking Covenant Eyes is child's play for a foreign intelligence service. Even if they can't get to US intel, I'd bet money there is something worth blackmailing this weirdo over in there somewhere.
You mean God didn’t make Nancy Pelosi speaker back in the day? Damn! I thought that was the best thing God had done in millennia!
How is Masturbatory Mike &Son able to adjust the filters on their WankWare to keep out porn alerts when one of them downloads a randy news item about Trump&Stormy&rolled up Forbes, or Boebert&Boytoy at the darkened theater, or Falwell & Wife's horny bedroom photo shoot with the poolboy, or Rudy's presser at the dildo emporium , or Gym Jordan's career at Ohio State as head Wrestler Molester Protector?
I wonder how MAGA Mike will be able to watch any of Margie TrailerPark Ghoul's Hunter Biden Palooza hearings without his son's phone melting down into a puddle in his pocket.
Then again, maybe the son keeps his phone in his front pocket and set on vibrate for a reason...
Um... if it's god's will that Mangy Mike become the House Speaker-in-Tongues, and that brings with it all of the media spotlight and digging into backgrounds and publicizing of beliefs that goes along with prominently held political positions in our country, isn't it also god's will that all of that happen? And, doesn't that mean it's god's will that we carefully examine Kelly Johnson's record of anti-gay hysteria?
Seriously, the pool-boy scandal can't be uncovered too soon. Can't we get a GoFundMe going to encourage the boy to come out of the closet?
They have calm, gentle, passive demeanors. That’s not the same thing as kindness, which probably starts with not believing gay people don’t exist, or same sex relationships are similar to beastiality. Or trying to turn gay people straight, or converting people to your religion. Something, something, the banality of evil. I’m an atheist but I strongly believe everyone has the right to embrace whatever religion they want, or to leave it alone. While I deeply respect Johnson’s right to believe what he does, I nonetheless think many of his views are terrible and wrong. I’m mostly ok with the “love thy neighbor,” and “forgiveness is good,” and “feed and clothe the needy” kind of Christianity. But the Bible thumpers who rail against LGBTQ+ and spout hypocrisy can get lost. And if ANY politician isn’t willing to say “my religious views, however deeply I feel them, will NOT be part of my political agenda,” should be expelled. It’s as vital an oath as any. Get that prayer group shit out of congress now. It’s not cute and the Founding Fathers would be horrified, and would issue America a solemn warning.
Quote/
And he loves all people and would give you the shirt off his back. [...] And [I became a Christian counselor] because I love people and want to help them through their times of struggle and suffering[.]
/Quote
Oh yeah. They love, love, love people. As long as they aren't gay or trans, and want to live that identity without interference. Then she's ready to "help them" with their "struggle and suffering" from being forced to live lives that are a complete lie. By telling them to suck it up and pray harder.
Hate the sin, punish the sinner. It's what Jesus said.
“ And he loves all people and would give you the shirt off his back.”
He loves all people. She loves “all people”. All people. I don’t know why but that phrasing has me suspicious af. Not, “We’re all the same in God’s eyes” or “He doesn’t judge” or literally anything else. These two host swingers parties. Prove me wrong. They’re likely into some twisted kinky shit none of us will be surprised to hear about when it comes out a year from now.
all that treacle really makes me want to shit in their mouths. forced to go to church then watch as "Father Day" would stop by the house and he and the female parent would repair to the kitchen with door closed.
fuck those people.
fuck those slimy hypocrites.
even shitting in their mouths is too good for them.
yes, he was married, two children
Josh Duggar also had CovenantEye on his computers, and look how well that worked out.
My brother had a fundy phase a long time ago during which time he lived in a Christian dorm house. One of the other residents got “caught” using the shared house computer to look at porn, so the other members changed the password. I said to my brother, “And they didn’t give him the new one, of course.”
“Oh, no, they did.”
“…How will that solve the problem?”
“They changed it to a Bible verse.”
“Did they at least use the Onan verse?”
“No!”
Still makes me laugh.
I've been looking for a term that would describe in a few words this intrusive monitoring device and came up with:
The Lad on the Dad
I found an article on CovenantEye and its nebby-nose competitors and came up with this "Wired" article.
https://www.wired.com/story/covenant-eyes-anti-porn-accountability-monitoring-apps/
(It came with a warning that this my last free article, which is funny because it is also my first free article but it is from September 2022, so you can probably find it at your local liberry, assuming that some theocrats haven't burned it down.
Among many alarming observations:
The guy in charge of developing the app is "a former NSA mathematician who now serves as a data scientist for the company." Not that it is domestic spyware, mind you. Heavens no.
This, also, too:
[Quote]Covenant Eyes spokesperson Dan Armstrong says the company is “concerned” about “people being monitored without proper consent.” He adds that “accountability relationships are better off between people who already know each other and want the best for one another, such as close personal friends and family members,” and that the company discourages using its app in relationships with a power imbalance.[Close Quote]
Setting aside, for the moment , the question of whether family members (say a father and his minor son) may have a power imbalance, the big dogs of evangelical churches are using it to create a wild imbalance of power over their members/marks. It's like 24/7 Super-Confession and even downright Papist, say I. The following lighthearted sketch illustrates some of the problems:
Two Corinthians walk into a church
Corinthian One: Why, hey there, Brother in Christ.
Corinthian Two: Back a ya, Brother in Ditto.
C1: As your Accountability Partner, I'm sorry to say that I've gotten a whole passel of notifications about your browsing. My phone has been ringing off the virtual hook.
C2: And as *your* Accountability Partner, I've had a similar experience. For instance, what about this visit to an account called WhataJagov dot com.
C1: Oh, that is just a site concerned with Western Pennsylvania slang.
C2: And Jackoff dot com?
C1: OK, that's a masturbation site but, to be fair, I am the senior Corinthian here so I claim my power imbalance exception. But as long as we're getting all high and mighty, what in heavens-to-betsy compelled to visit a site called wonkette dot com?
C2: Oh, that was just a finger-slip. I was trying to visit wonking-for-Jesus dot com. I am admittedly your inferior but if I revealed that information to the Deacon, you could be in hot water and not the pleasant hot tub spa water, neither.
C1: That's for sure. Everybody knows that if you intentionally visit wonkette dot com, you will be cast down to Hell so fast that the Devil won't have time to give you the welcoming tour. It's a good thing for both of us that, under the principle of Mutually Assured Destruction, none of this will get out.
C2: Mmm, well, maybe not I sorta posted our unencrypted passwords on social media for all to hack.
C1: Ouch! So did I.
C1&C2: What time's The Rapture?
CURTAIN
Edited to include the URL for the Wired which I omitted, three times now and counting!
I’m curious about why ol’ Mikey needs his son, rather than his covenant married WIFE, to keep him accountable on the porno. I’d think she’d be more, you know, amenable to that.
It is so weird. It is not quite child abuse but it is so fucking weird.
Ta, Evan.
He may well deserve a place in the book Monty Python described in their big "Monty Python Papperbok", if I recall, entitled "Masturbators of History".
Re : Kelly Johnson...Commander's Wife says , "What?"