Kellyanne Conway Will Run Twitter Lynch Mob, For Donald Trump, America, And So Much $$$!

Queen of the trolls

Everybody has been asking, "Now that she's led Donald Trump's racist campaign to a squeaker of a victory that was only possible because of America's antiquated electoral system, what will that horrible lying person Kellyanne Conway do now?" OK, not everybody. Most people don't give a damn and just want her to piss off forever. But since it's seemed like Donald J. Trump hasn't been too keen on hiring her on the inside of his administration, at least a few people on the internet have been like, "Wonder what her next grift is?" And now we have a maybe answer! 

Senior Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway said in an interview Monday that she is considering leading a group being formed that will provide “a surround-sound super structure” to bolster the new administration’s political and policy goals.

Sounds luxurious! And not very clear! Is she just going to lie on a loudspeaker, directly into our brains?

People familiar with the planning said that some helping organize the as-yet unnamed group have a working motto: "Unleash the Potential" ...

OK, Washington Post , keep burying the lede, keep burying the lede, don't get to the point until you damn well wanna, we are not your real dad or anything, therefore we wouldn't deign to tell you what to do. ("Unleash the Potential"? Pfffffft.)

Paragraph eight:

“We’re fighting and planning how to continue this seismic change and the Trump revolution into the next election, and you’ve got the Democrats literally rehiring the same people who failed them,” Conway said ...

SEISMIC CHANGE! YOOOGE! Fewer people than you can fit in the parking lot for a particularly big sale at Big Lots elected the Orange Puke Monster in three Rust Belt states, and Hillary Clinton's popular vote lead is now over 2.65 million, but you just keep spinning your wheels, K-Con, just keep lying.

Paragraphs nine and ten get to the damn point:

The new group is expected to focus especially on 10 vulnerable Democratic senators who represent states that Trump won [...]

The Trump group could potentially target each senator by mobilizing followers to call their offices or target the lawmakers on Twitter, Facebook and other social-media platforms. Hand-picked leaders in each of the counties Trump won across the country could also apply more direct pressure by calling state or district offices.

ONLINE BULLYING AND TROLLING! How nice! Conway can identify Democratic senators up for re-election -- the Post mentions Sherrod Brown, Tammy Baldwin, Debbie Stabenow and others -- and then unleash Trump's hordes of online flying monkeys to harass and intimidate them. What a nice plan! As The New Civil Rights Movement astutely notes, five of the "vulnerable" Democratic senators are women, so we bet the very nice, racist, misogynistic online minions of Kellyanne Conway's new organization will probably call them "cunts" on Twitter a whole lot, and then Conway will cry sexism when she's called on her shit.

Oh boy, Kellyanne Conway loves the smell of completely dismantling what little integrity and decorum our electoral system has left, because it smells like COLD HARD CA$H, which is the only thing that's valuable when you've lost your dignity and your soul.

The WaPo notes that this will likely be funded by a basket of wealthy yet tacky deplorables, like the well-heeled Mercer family, who have funded so many of Trump's activities so far. Moreover, the new organization will probably get all the AOL free trial email addresses of the rapidly decomposing demographic that gave Trump his meager election "win."

So hooray, Kellyanne Conway might get to do what her guidance counselor never imagined for her, by directing an online Twitter lynch mob. To be honest, it sounds like a perfect fit for her, because she really is a professional asshole.

[ Washington Post ]