418 Comments
User's avatar
tamiasmin's avatar

Urine good company.

Expand full comment
george lastrapes's avatar

Her eyelids look fresh, plump, and perky. Are there newly-invented eyelid implants, or do they use fetal collagen?

Expand full comment
george lastrapes's avatar

They go with any decor and color scheme, and have tiny dry poops that are virtually odor-free.

Expand full comment
george lastrapes's avatar

What's so cute about naming a dog or a cat 'George'? Why never a pet named Eric or James or Paul? Wouldn't a Corgi named Carl or a Rotweiler named Eileen come off as some kinda in-joke so fucking twee that the joke was indetectable/indefensible??Asking for an excitable and potentially unmanageable friend.

Expand full comment
Manhattan123's avatar

Okay, maybe Michelle has been on more magazine covers than Melania, but how many nude photo shoots on bearskin rugs has she done! Exactly.

Expand full comment
george lastrapes's avatar

Three cheers for Mrs. Obama! I miss her, too.But one-and-a-half cheers for Melania.Dirt-poor eastern European country, parents on a pension that wouldn't keep a Swiss citizen in coffee, used to displaying her body for money. A loveless marriage to alleged BIG money becomes thinkable. And a child would want for nothing. All this for a 'test drive', as her worker at the 'marriage brokerage' probably put it, and some unenjoyable sex.Being the First Lady was not on her radar, nor was the gratuitous humiliation and the puppet-like role playing demanded by that un-hoped-for outcome. I'd say that her real accomplishment has been keeping her son as far from his father as possible. That kid-- and his mother-- just might have a chance of escaping that Euripidean tragedy with their souls intact.Then I'd give her two-and-a-half cheers, and all the anonymity she could desire.

Expand full comment
John Thomson's avatar

That's a goodun.

Expand full comment
John Thomson's avatar

I wouldn't be surprised if the pre-nup didn't contain SOMEthing about children resulting...

Expand full comment
george lastrapes's avatar

We're speaking different dialects of Innundoish, but the meaning comes through. Avenatti would probably truly relish taking on whatever hack Trump would have to fight the prenups/custody battles. And just a thought-- Melania and Avenatti are close in age. They would make a handsome couple! Is she too tall for him? The whole thing has become PERSONAL, and the entertainment value has at least quintupled.

Expand full comment
george lastrapes's avatar

I had a premonition of Barron's 13th birthday treat, a gift from Dad: a visit to a bordello in another country, where an 'age-appropriate' sex-worker would take care of the boy. Fortunately no inappropriate images entered my imaginations, and it was then the last scene in which her silence was bought by 130,000 Gummi Bears.

Expand full comment
randomhookup's avatar

It was a fashion debacle. Of course, it was "fabricated."

Expand full comment
Jack Is The Biasss's avatar

I didn't name him. He was my mom's dog, she named him after my step-dad who had recently died. Weird, I know, but people do weird things. Anywhoo, I inherited him after she died.

Expand full comment
george lastrapes's avatar

Not really mad, certainly not blaming you personally. But as a George, it always seemed that people found something funny about the name 'George', some joke I just don't get, and the joke's on me. 'George' seems to conjure up someone who is reliable, not much fun, old-fashioned and a prude (or a stick-in-the-mud).

Expand full comment
george lastrapes's avatar

This is lovely. A bouquet of upvotes? You've made my day! And I'm feeling so much better after stopping a couple of meds which were fighting a war in my nervous system.

Expand full comment
Ethereal Fairy Natalie's avatar

I am so glad to hear you are feeling better, George. I wish you well, and hope you continue to improve.

Expand full comment